Spending Money to Make Yourself Feel Better

Heffi1

Jumbo_Cod wrote: »

i have aabout £40,000 in cc debt now and about £30,000 left on limits over 10 cards. just going to wrack up as much as I can then walk away. screw the banks..spending like there's no tomorrow!

What a shocking attitude, I hope they chase you for every penny!

sharronej

Suspect there's a troll in the conversation here guys!

Archer0710

I can identify a number of these behaviours in myself. Its nice to read that it is a symptom and not my specific issues.

I am not in debt per se but run through each month ok at the beginning and stressed at the end. Hiding from my bank balance etc

Again food is an issue, I spend recklessly on it, fail to plan have stacked on weight and now my weight it bad too. The tablets have made some difference but side effects out weigh benefits in some ways.

I made a huge change yesterday by working out monthly bills etc and from payday I will be operating a two account system to try and get a handle on things. I find bank statements, paper work a stress point, avoid them and then end up in a worse situation.

I shall read the post though having tried to deny my mental health issues as I am cripplingly embarrassed by them and maybe til now have denied they are part of me I need to accept and formulae a plan.

Heffi1

Archer0710 wrote: »

I shall read the post though having tried to deny my mental health issues as I am cripplingly embarrassed by them and maybe til now have denied they are part of me I need to accept and formulae a plan.

There is absolutely no need to feel embarrassed by your mental health, it is what makes you who you are, and we all (myself included) struggle from time to time. Are you seeing your GP is your medication working for you, there is a lot of help out there and no need to feel alone with this.

It is a really good thread as too many people are struggling at the moment and maybe don't like to talk about it, thinking others will think less of them, but you are among supportive people here and I hope you can benefit from some of the other stories people have told.

Archer0710

Hi I have a review this week as I am finding my tablets are just making me tired with little over all effect on my mind issues.

It's a vicious circle of they make me feel rubbish so I don't take them, thus making me poorly.

So drawing a line under it, it's back to the GP.

I am trying to put into place coping strategies etc now I have read and understood the issues!

Next job....weight and tablets.

Heffi1

Definitely talk to the GP then, it can take a couple of months for a noticeable difference though, and don't make the same mistake as me, I took my tablets for a long time and felt so much better, so I stopped taking them yep you guessed it I got ill again, I will be on my tablets for the rest of my life and I am ok about it now, if one little tablet makes me cope with the day instead of having dreadful thoughts, then that is a little price to pay for long term health and peace of mind.

jet77

Wow it's such a relief reading these posts and realising I'm not alone with this. I had never connected debt and my mental health. VERY hard to talk about and I too find it embarrassing and it makes me feel weak talking to other people about it.

Archer - it took a good few weeks of taking them and side effects like anxiety attacks, room spinning, tiredness etc before mine started working and now if I'm just a few hours late taking it, I'm right back down again and the tiredness is back. It's not like a normal tiredness it's like something I've never known before - doesn't matter where I am, I need to go to sleep right there and then for a couple of hours.

Lesgeo - You are so right re identifying the triggers ... never really thought about that. The biggest one I guess is being late with the tablet, so have set a reminder on my phone and split the pack so I have some at home and some in car and will therefore never get caught short. As for other triggers ... not really sure. Does anyone know what their triggers are?

Thanks so, so much for posting guys n gals xx

sharronej

Triggers for eating - completely emotional, if I'm sad it's a comfort and if I'm happy it makes me happier.

Triggers for spending, that's a bit more complicated but I think the main one would be feeling sorry for myself and/or feeling deprived.

jet77

Sharron - that's really helpful. So basically we seem to eat and spend to make us happy but really they both make us sad. We know we shouldn't, we know we've got a budget to stick to, we know it'll make us put on weight and we know that ultimately it makes things worse but we still somehow manage to justify it to ourselves. WHY?!?!?!? I think you've hit the nail on the head with the triggers - the spending one for me I always think "Well we deserve a treat"

So identifying the triggers is really useful, but then I guess we have to figure out how to nip them in the bud. Thing for me is that it just happens so quickly ... perfectly rational one minute and spending money the next.

I'm too am one who will go a couple of weeks of sticking to things and then go off track and feel crap for it!!

sharronej

I am exactly the same Jet77, I become obsessed with things; dieting, only eating organic food, debt busting, exercising and origami...(only joking) lol but you get my point - of course I'm that committed and obsessed that I can't keep it up for long and then it's back to all the bad habits. The solution is simple and devastatingly hard at the same time - find another way to pamper ourselves for example a nice hot bubble bath? Or perhaps spending the time painting our nails etc etc of course time is the downfall which is why those biscuits come in so handy or the quick buy button on the online shop - it's over in a moment yet we feel satisfied. See, simple and almost impossible at the same time lol

We need some equilibrium! Any ideas how else we can distract ourselves - I think actually what I'm talking about would be classed as C.B.T. (Cognitive Brain Therapy) remember Paul McKenna?