Almost at breaking point!!

exarmydreamer

Hi :j

No judgement here, you sound like you are really facing up to the mark, which is more than can be said for your ex. He cannot get out of paying you money, please phone CSA and make a claim.

Have you a spare room, you could earn just over 5K a year tax free from a lodger. Some provide a room from Monday to Friday only for commuters or a few weeks at a time for foreign students. How about completing surveys for money on line in the evening. Do you like animals, could you pet sit the odd animal at your home?.

Do you or have you, had any loans or credit cards which you may have a claim on for PPI. Do you have any old baby stuff, kids old toys or books etc that you could sell on ebay/facebook.

Your ex, should be supporting his children, I find it hard to believe that he has just walked away and left you to struggle. Believe me, the children see and feel everything. They will not appreciate his lack of concern or care when they are older, and will look to you for guidance. Good luck.

Lea74

exarmydreamer wrote: »

Hi :j

No judgement here, you sound like you are really facing up to the mark, which is more than can be said for your ex. He cannot get out of paying you money, please phone CSA and make a claim.

Have you a spare room, you could earn just over 5K a year tax free from a lodger. Some provide a room from Monday to Friday only for commuters or a few weeks at a time for foreign students. How about completing surveys for money on line in the evening. Do you like animals, could you pet sit the odd animal at your home?.

Do you or have you, had any loans or credit cards which you may have a claim on for PPI. Do you have any old baby stuff, kids old toys or books etc that you could sell on ebay/facebook.

Your ex, should be supporting his children, I find it hard to believe that he has just walked away and left you to struggle. Believe me, the children see and feel everything. They will not appreciate his lack of concern or care when they are older, and will look to you for guidance. Good luck.

Hi, I have spoken to the CSA but as he lives abroad most of the time they cant do anything also he is showing an income of £2000 a year - which is ludicrous.

I do have spare room but it is used for my self employment work, although I would make more money from the rent a room scheme. I am a little nervous though having a stranger in my home with two kids. Will give it some thought though. A colleague of mine has one so may ask her what she thinks.

I have already sold everything, clothes, shoes all my jewellery. It definitely saved my bacon last year.

No nothing that I can think of in terms of PPI. All my debts are on payment plans so not sure if that makes a difference??

theoretica

Remember you get to choose a lodger, it isn't a matter of putting a notice in the local shop and having to take the first person who asks!

eyeopener2

Not one ounce of judgement here, we help the best we can.

You need to post a statement of affairs so we can see what your paying, to whom and what we can do to advise on rejig things (probably reducing your debt payment plans for starters!).

Don't sell your home, there are alternatives usually before you take that option. So post your SOA and have a read of this guide....it points you to the SOA and gives some good tips.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

You can do this, you can be free, but you need to ask for help and when you get advice, act on it.

Hey, if I can dig myself out (nearly) then anybody can!

E2

Lea74

theoretica wrote: »

Remember you get to choose a lodger, it isn't a matter of putting a notice in the local shop and having to take the first person who asks!

Will take in a lodger affect my benefits. Just had a look on directgov website and it says you have to report this change if you take in a lodger?

Lea74

eyeopener2 wrote: »

Not one ounce of judgement here, we help the best we can.

You need to post a statement of affairs so we can see what your paying, to whom and what we can do to advise on rejig things (probably reducing your debt payment plans for starters!).

Don't sell your home, there are alternatives usually before you take that option. So post your SOA and have a read of this guide....it points you to the SOA and gives some good tips.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280



You can do this, you can be free, but you need to ask for help and when you get advice, act on it.

Hey, if I can dig myself out (nearly) then anybody can!

E2

Thank you so much for saying not to sale my home - so many people keep telling me this. For me it is not a house but it is my home.

I have lost so much in the past few years I cant leave my home now. (I broke my coccyx, had a car accident, both my grandparents died and I was made redundant - I know feeling sorry for myself again, but it has been a tough few years.)

Will work on the SOA and then post it. A little embarrased about this though.

thatsean

Hi,

Didn't want to read and run..

1. Well done for posting on here, there are some bl**dy marvellous folks on here who have helped me see sense when I was quite desperate at my situation
2. Get a statement of affairs done
3. Are your bills, bills - or debts? If the latter then once the SAO is done look at CCCS or Payplan as options to help with creditors to get breathing space (this will trash your credit file, be mindful if this will impact any jobs you do)
4. Smile. You're in great company here.

Allypops

If you decide against a lodger, and depending upon where you live, could you consider taking in language students? Although it would mean including them in mealtimes and making packed lunches it might give you a little bit of extra income.

catandy

just had to post as can relate to lots of what you posted.

* Do not sell your home unless you really have no other choice, you and your sons need stability and the private renting/ benefit cycle generally doesnt give you that.
* CSA I would give up on, they have trouble chasing absent parents based in the UK so the chances of being succesful with someone abroad would be miniscule. (my kids Dad lived both in the UK and abroad and never paid a penny despite being chased for 17 years to date)
* Find ways to up your income when your kids are in bed/ at school and so on. you say you are self employed have you checked out all the freelancer boards to find extra projects to supplement your normal income? Mystery shopping? Surveys? Yes you need to up your income but you also need to not spend any more time away from your sons.
* work out exactly what you spend and on what rather than guestimating which is what I did at first. I kept a written record for a whole month detailing every penny I spent then I knew what I was working from and where I could start to make cuts. and a major eye opener this was as well
* when youve got some proper figures for your SOA you can then sit down and work out a way forward and prioritise what needs to be paid off first and what can be cut down. this takes time and if your anything like me you will revise your figures a couple of times till your happy.
* have you checked you are getting all you are entitled to in Tax Credits? I'm sure you have but it may be worth getting a reassesment done. I did this 2 years ago and my amount went up by £12 a week, ok not a lot but it paid the water bill each month!
* hang in there, its horrible being in the position you are in but you need to think about it all with a clear head and you can only do that if you can take a step back from the situation.

if you ever need to rant/ talk/ rail at the world pm me

Standingtall

Hi Lea 74 and welcome.

Lots of men get out of supporting their children and those with their own companies are particularly good at this:mad:

Some practical advice would be to look at reducing your monthly payments that arise from unsecured loans, credit cards, catalogues etc. if you ring CCCS or Payplan, they will provide you with options on how to do this and will not charge you for this advice. Perhaps if you can reduce these payments then you will be able to service your priority debts (mortgage, utilities etc) a little better.

Good luck:)