Almost at breaking point!!

Lea74

My story is probably very similar to alot of you on here, and in someways I am really annoyed at myself for feeling so sorry for myself, but I am really at breaking point.

Very cliched: my husband of many years left a few years to marry to office tart and is now having a baby at the end of the year. Doesnt pay child support, managed to get out of that.

So the point that I am at now. Have a wonderful part time job that I love but it doesnt pay the bills. So have been doing some work on a self employed basis. Work approximately 40 hours a week (at least) and spend most evenings working and weekends my sons are at their dads working (honestly - not an exagertion) and yet I still cant meet our bills.

I have a mortgage on my home. I have just worked out what I have earned via self employed and whilst it is good, what I loose in CTC and WTC it really doesnt seem worth it. Given the fact that I could have been spending this time with my sons and being there more them.

So I guess I am now considerng selling my house. However again I am not sure that it would be worth it. As there is a little equity in my home and therefore would have some cash left over, as I understand it I would loose all my CTC and WTC, which is fair. This lump sum cash would probably last about 18 months and then I would need to go back onto benefits. However now I would have to claim HB as well.

In short, is it worth selling my home (which is really important to me) just to in only 18 months go back on benefits. And then be entitled to even more benefits and live in rented accomodation with a large portion of it covered by HB. (based on some calculations I have made.)

I am always more than happy to work and work hard, but dont see the point if I still cant live and afford our expensives and continually have to sacrifice time with my sons. (I overheard my son telling his friends that I am always working - broke my heart)

(p.s. If you are going to make any mean or snide comments, please dont. I have been through hell in the last few years and am very fragile right now. I need support not judgement which I believe is the point of this forum. Thanks)

Upsidedown_Bear

Hello

Sorry to hear things are so difficult for you.

A couple of things.

You don't say how much equity you will have if you sell your house but if it is more than £16K you would not be able to claim housing benefit.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/life/benefits/help_with_your_rent_-_housing_benefit.htm

From what I can find out how much capital you have is not usually taken into account for child tax credits/working tax credits.
See page 22 of this:

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/leaflets/wtc2.pdf

Shovel_Lad

I would suggest posting a statement of affairs as it will make it easier for people to suggest ways to help.

http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php

If you do decide to sell have you included the costs of selling (solictors, estate agents etc) and renting somewhere (desposit, removal van etc) in your figures?

It doesn't sound like you want to sell your home so post your SOA and let's see if we can help you stay there.

Lea74

Upsidedown_Bear wrote: »

Hello

Sorry to hear things are so difficult for you.

A couple of things.

You don't say how much equity you will have if you sell your house but if it is more than £16K you would not be able to claim housing benefit.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/life/benefits/help_with_your_rent_-_housing_benefit.htm

From what I can find out how much capital you have is not usually taken into account for child tax credits/working tax credits.
See page 22 of this:

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/leaflets/wtc2.pdf

There is probably about £30,000 in equity in my home. This is after costs of selling etc. So I guess after rent for a year I would be entitled to HB. (although this is not the route I wanted to go)

missyv30

Hi didnt want to read and run sorry you feel so low i know how you feel to be overwhelmed with everything. If your ex works he cant get out of paying you :mad:even ppl on benefits pay £5 a wk csa you need to phone them. Like others have suggested do a soa and post and you should get more advice on how you can manage. If you every need a chat pm me am on everyday because am a similary situation to yourself.

take care

theoretica

Could you chase your ex to get him to start paying child support?

Lea74

Shovel_Lad wrote: »

I would suggest posting a statement of affairs as it will make it easier for people to suggest ways to help.

http://www.stoozing.com/msoc/soacalc.php

If you do decide to sell have you included the costs of selling (solictors, estate agents etc) and renting somewhere (desposit, removal van etc) in your figures?

It doesn't sound like you want to sell your home so post your SOA and let's see if we can help you stay there.

My current mortgage repayment is lower then the average rentals for a similar property. Also my mortgage is interest only. Also have a lot of debt and payment plans with everyone so not sure if I could even rent - sorry I am bit naive when it comes to these things.

I have been reading some of the other posts and the areas where I can see that I need to make changes, would be food shopping, getting rid of sky, when my mobile phone comes up for renewal rather going for a month by month contract.

I have been to the CAb and they already helped me with a budget but it doesnt seem to work as it doesnt take into account things like new school clothes or school trips, cars breaking down, maintenance around the house and a fence falling over.

Thanks,

Lea74

missyv30 wrote: »

Hi didnt want to read and run sorry you feel so low i know how you feel to be overwhelmed with everything. If your ex works he cant get out of paying you :mad:even ppl on benefits pay £5 a wk csa you need to phone them. Like others have suggested do a soa and post and you should get more advice on how you can manage. If you every need a chat pm me am on everyday because am a similary situation to yourself.

take care

Thanks Missy, exH doesnt work and also lives abroad. He married up so is now a nicely kept man.

Lea74

theoretica wrote: »

Could you chase your ex to get him to start paying child support?

Sorry my bad - I should have made this clear in my first post. exH apparently does work although has a limited company here in the UK. He lives abroad most of the time and his new wife is on a huge salary so he is a nicely kept man.

I have recently asked him if he could buy our sons a pair of school trousers each, probably costing about £15.00 in total. He told me no he wasnt going to line my pockets.

He is however taking my sons skiing again this year, third time this year along with a trip to tuscany and various other littel trips. I really dont begrudge my children these things and really glad that they get these opportunities but it seems to be at the expense of loosing our home and also our home life. For example, have had to stop my youngest from going back to footie club this season.

missyv30

Thats shocking for you:eek: mind you csa is a sore point for me so won't ramble on you will get there being on this site has helped me loads and things like the no spend days gives me a buzz when i can post up on the thread i have had so many NSD days you should have a look at it and see what you think there is so much information and help on this site but like i said you can pm me anytime if your feeling down because i know how you feel:).

hoxtonbabe

missyv30 wrote: »

Hi didnt want to read and run sorry you feel so low i know how you feel to be overwhelmed with everything. If your ex works he cant get out of paying you :mad:even ppl on benefits pay £5 a wk csa you need to phone them. Like others have suggested do a soa and post and you should get more advice on how you can manage. If you every need a chat pm me am on everyday because am a similary situation to yourself.

take care

Sorry I do not mean to hijack...but when I have been calling the CSA about my now 14 year old son, that has not seena penny since he was born from his fatehr they said because he is on benefits I am/my son is not entitled to anything?!?!