Own bed at 9

clothhany

Just wanted a few thoughts and opinions, my SIL has a son who goes to his Dad's every other weekend. Dad has a gambling addiction (big reason for marriage break up) . Dad without doubt loves his son but will not spend a penny on him if he can help it. Dad has a 3 bedroom house but hasn't bought a bed for son, so child has to sleep with Dad ie share a double bed, when he stays there. Dad earns a good wage but has huge debts due to gambling debts, so do you think the sleeping arrangements are ok or Mum should kick up a fuss until the child has his own bed to sleep in??

clothhany

Sil is sister in law

gingin_2

Yes. Selfish man. He could even try his luck on freecycle and get one for nothing, or ebay and get one for very little.

fluffnutter

Can your SIL not buy a bed for him to use when he goes to his dad's? Ikea's cheap as chips for kids' beds. Seems the easiest solution tbh.

clothhany

Good idea but Mum is digging her heals in a bit, Dad always has money for bookies and the pub, but not a penny for anything else

liney

Has mum mentioned it? Does the son even mind? Perhaps he enjoys sharing his Dad's bed as their time together is limited.

If it's an issue, and he really can't afford it, then an airbed and a sleeping bag would surfice for twice a month as a stop gap, surely.

balletshoes

is it worth kicking up a stink about, if Dad's a gambler and SIL already knows he won't buy a bed for the child? I think the most important thing is the child is spending time with their Dad, Dad loves his son and wants to spend time with him. Its not like the boy is sleeping on the floor, he is sleeping in a bed and presumably getting enough sleep.

Could SIL suggest Dad buys a blow-up bed and airpump and put that up for the boy when he is visiting?

Is the boy upset about sleeping in the same bed as his parent, or is he fine about it? If he's said he'd rather sleep in a bed of his own, like he does at home, how would it be if SIL sent round a blow-up bed and airpump for him to his Dad's with him?

Sagz_2

Freecycle for a bedframe and buy him a cheap mattress as an early christmas present?

clothhany

Yes liney Mum has mentioned it but gets no reply, I think the sticking point is he can afford it (he thinks nothing of spending 300 to 400 on a weekend in the bookies). The young man adores his Dad and wont say a word against either parent, but when will it end, when he's 12, 15,21!!

cottonhead

I agree with the blow up bed solution. Has the dad actually refused to get a bed though or has he just not thought about it / got round to it ? There is a difference. Buying a blow up bed might make him realise what he has overlooked and spur him on to buy a proper bed and if not then at least the boy still has the blow up bed.

marisco_2

How does the 9 year old boy feel about it? Personally I think he should be able to sleep in his own bed. A bed frame and matress costs very little after all. It could give the child a real sense of belonging to have his own bed at his dads place.