Urgent advise needed please

noodlespink2

A couple of years ago my best friend was suicidal as she was in lots of debt as her husband expected her to still pay half of bills etc although she couldnt work full time as she was bringing up THEIR 3 children.
He never helped her with money and said she had to pay her way.
I was so concerned me and my husband decided to take out a £25k loan out in our names to pay off all her debts and put it into one so she only had 1 payment a month. He knew at this stage and claimed he had tried to apply for loans in his name to take over the loan but they always declined. They have now split up and he has washed his hands of the debt saying he wont be paying it as she got into debt and not him. We did this to help them BOTH out, im sure not many people would help friends out like we have. My friend has promised she will carry on paying it until its paid off in 3 years but is there anyway we can make him pay some. As they were good friends we never got anything legal drawn up in case they split but he is now keeping the house they have together leaving her to start again. Just seems so unfair as surely he should have to pay something

YoYoY

noodlespink2 wrote: »

A couple of years ago my best friend was suicidal as she was in lots of debt as her husband expected her to still pay half of bills etc although she couldnt work full time as she was bringing up THEIR 3 children.
He never helped her with money and said she had to pay her way.
I was so concerned me and my husband decided to take out a £25k loan out in our names to pay off all her debts and put it into one so she only had 1 payment a month. He knew at this stage and claimed he had tried to apply for loans in his name to take over the loan but they always declined. They have now split up and he has washed his hands of the debt saying he wont be paying it as she got into debt and not him. We did this to help them BOTH out, im sure not many people would help friends out like we have. My friend has promised she will carry on paying it until its paid off in 3 years but is there anyway we can make him pay some. As they were good friends we never got anything legal drawn up in case they split but he is now keeping the house they have together leaving her to start again. Just seems so unfair as surely he should have to pay something

None whatsoever I'm afraid.

Any verbal contract (and from your post, I can't see any firm evidence one was agreed) was with your best friend only.

I do agree with you that I'm sure not many people would agree to lend someone £25k even if they are their best friend, especially if it meant borrowing the money themself in order to lend it. Well done :T

And congratulations to your best friend too. You say your best friend was suicidal as she was in lots of debt as her husband expected her to still pay half of bills etc although she couldnt work full time, yet she appears to be confident to have fully paid off your additional £25k loan in just 5 years. (3 years remaining) :T

sleepless_saver

noodlespink2 wrote: »

. As they were good friends we never got anything legal drawn up in case they split but he is now keeping the house they have together leaving her to start again. Just seems so unfair as surely he should have to pay something

So he'd refused to help his wife with her debts, which he had every right to do (though it's not the action of a caring spouse), and you took out a loan to help the wife pay them off. You have no written agreement to support this.

You may be angry at the way he has treated his wife - but there is no way he has any obligation for her debts or for the loan you decided to take out to pay them off.

The thing he does have a responsibility for is paying maintenance for his children so I hope he is doing that.

Fergie76

sleepless_saver wrote: »

So he'd refused to help his wife with her debts, which he had every right to do (though it's not the action of a caring spouse), and you took out a loan to help the wife pay them off. You have no written agreement to support this.

You may be angry at the way he has treated his wife - but there is no way he has any obligation for her debts or for the loan you decided to take out to pay them off.

The thing he does have a responsibility for is paying maintenance for his children so I hope he is doing that.

But surely these are marital debts and he should have an obligation to pay some, just as any profit from the sale of house should be split? No?

I realise it is difficult in this case with no written evidence, but as general rule, debts should be split.

YoYoY

Fergie76 wrote: »

But surely these are marital debts and he should have an obligation to pay some, just as any profit from the sale of house should be split? No?

I realise it is difficult in this case with no written evidence, but as general rule, debts should be split.

There are no marital debts - they were all paid off by the generosity of the OP giving their best friend £25k

00ec25

YoYoY wrote: »

There are no marital debts - they were all paid off by the generosity of the OP giving their best friend £25k

agreed
the ex husband has no connection at all with the OP so and agreement, verbal or not, between ex wife and OP is irrelevant to the ex husband
the OP took out a loan, if the female friend chooses not to repay the OP then that is a problem for the 2 of them but nothing to do with the ex husband

Fergie76

00ec25 wrote: »

agreed
the ex husband has no connection at all with the OP so and agreement, verbal or not, between ex wife and OP is irrelevant to the ex husband
the OP took out a loan, if the female friend chooses not to repay the OP then that is a problem for the 2 of them but nothing to do with the ex husband

I get what you're saying, but the OP doesn't say that they have divorced so could still be married.

If the OP's friend won the lottery, I'm sure the husband would soon be quick enough to claim his share of that in any divorce settlement.

Like I said though in my previous post, it is difficult for OP's friend as there is no written agreements, but in more general terms any debts or windfalls should be split.

noodlespink2

Hi
Thanks for all the replies. They are starting divorce proceedings very soon. Just gutted as my friends (soon to be ex husband) has known my husband for 15+ years and work together and feel he has totally let us down

lovinituk

noodlespink2 wrote: »

A couple of years ago my best friend was suicidal as she was in lots of debt as her husband expected her to still pay half of bills etc although she couldnt work full time as she was bringing up THEIR 3 children.
He never helped her with money and said she had to pay her way.
I was so concerned me and my husband decided to take out a £25k loan out in our names to pay off all her debts

How can she afford to pay back the loan if she doesn't work full time? £25k over 5 years, taking a low rate of interest at 6% for example, is approx £500 per month!!!

YoYoY

Fergie76 wrote: »

I get what you're saying, but the OP doesn't say that they have divorced so could still be married.

If the OP's friend won the lottery, I'm sure the husband would soon be quick enough to claim his share of that in any divorce settlement.

Like I said though in my previous post, it is difficult for OP's friend as there is no written agreements, but in more general terms any debts or windfalls should be split.

If that is the case, such a dispute would be between the borrower and her estranged husband.

In answer to the question posed by the OP, there is no way I see the lender can force the borrower's husband to repay her any money.

Thegirl

Since this is a loan from you to your friend and one which is being paid off this would be able to be listed as a debt of the marriage. You cannot force the husband to pay towards it now, but I would expect you to be able to count it as a marital debt in the divorce proceedings, she can prove it paid off debts from the marriage after all.
However, should he wish to string out the divorce for three years the debt will no longer exist as your friend will have repaid it by then, so then he won't be needing to contribute to it at all.
Whilst separated the only obligations he has is to service debts in his own or joint names and pay maintenance for the children. And some people don't even bother with joint debts since they are confident their partner will cover the repayments in order to keep their credit file clean.