Feeling Frumpy - money-saving new me advice

alyth

Unfortunately I'm still sitting here in my jammies at 9am, trying to get myself motivated! I'm swithering whether to go into my local town this morning actually, as they have brilliant charity shops, Matalan, etc but also as Moonbeam has just suggested, to have a bit of a makeover as I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed with things and feel like having a treats day but with spending as little money as possible! Unfortunately none of the shops there have a personal shopper, as again I was thinking about doing that. And I bought a magazine over the weekend, a crafty one, and they had some fantastic jewellery that you could make yourself, from what seemed really cheaply.

Must now motivate myself to get dressed!

Plum_Pie

grunnie wrote: »

Have you any jewellery or scarves you haven't worn in a while? When you reach for jeans wear a nice skirt instead. Wear a different blouse if you always wear the same one with a certain outfit.

I definitely second this. I work somewhere where quite sober (ie dull!) clothes are normal which I don't mind. But dressing up more, just for a casual drink/meal/trip to cinema in the evenings has really made me feel better about myself. I also realised that as I owned nice clothes, I should wear them otherwise it's a waste of money!

If you can find a Trinny and Susanna book in the library, they do contain good advice about flattering shapes for different body types. (I have vv wide shoulders (like a rugby player - mmmm, so feminine!) and when I realised that I should shun polo necks/tie necks/high necks, I suddenly realised I looked much slimmer!)

The other thing I see other women getting wrong frequently is skirt length - the bottom of a skirt should fall ABOVE or BELOW the widest part of the calf muscle. The widest part of a calf muscle varies according to genetics and whatever exercise a person takes. If a skirt stops at the widest part of the calf, the lower leg looks as though it's that thick all over!

I know I sound like a ranting madwoman and it is true that I'm overweight. but often people are shocked at quite how much I do weigh as I pay attention to things like this. :rotfl:

paddy's_mum

You may want to go to a Colour Me Beautiful consultant. I did this some years ago. It isn't cheap but I had the fee paid as a birthday present. It was the best money I ever spent. They go through everything with you - best colours, body shape, best styles for your figure, what colours NOT to wear etc.

I really cannot recommend them highly enough. Although I too often slop around in the jeans and joggies, when I go out, I am now absolutely certain that I am wearing what suits me best, and lifts me out of the frump category!

alyth

I'm now dressed and ready for my shopping spree! I had a quick look through my stuff, and have found a scarf that looks really good with a t-shirt I've got, so hopefully I will look respectable enough to not be intimated by the make-up girls now....... wish me luck, I bet I come back with nothing!

Thanks Paddy's mum about the colour me beautiful tip, I'm sure there is someone round about here who does it, I'll look into that.

morganlefay

Don't be scared of the make=up girls. I'm 64 now and the (more or less only) good thing about being older is that you aren't scared of things like you used to be. They get all that expensive slap for free, but they have to get up really early to put it all on and then they commute like everyone else. Just treat them as if they were a nice neighbour and they'll usually turn into humans instead of being superior and over made-up scary beings. Tell them you want to be shown how to do a make up for a wedding, or something nice like that, and then say that you need a good list of the things she uses as you are going to ask for all/some of the stuff for your birthday - that way you don't need to buy any of it if you don't want to. If there's more than one make up counter near you you can do that with each brand, and get different ideas from each one. Smile a lot and enjoy it - it's their job to make you look nice. PS I always start by saying I like their eye make-up, or how wonderful their skin looks or something like that, which helps ! Good hunting and don't forget to enjoy it !

FrugalFairy

I have always been hopeless at clothes shopping and choosing things that suit me. This has become even worse since I suddenly became a fattish 40-something instead of a svelte 20-something.

Now I use the following method and it works reasonably well ...

When I'm out and about, I always look at what other women are wearing. (Especially the ones that are the same shape as me.)

If I think they look good, I take note of what I thought made them look nice e.g colours, trendy/classic clothes, combination of clothes etc.

Conversely, and I feel this is more important, if they look awful I think about why that is e.g. unflattering colours, shapes, wrong size, wrong underwear etc.

Then, when I'm in that cubicle trying on clothes, I try to look at myself objectively and decide what I would think if I saw myself in the street dressed like that.

I still manage to make mistakes, and I still find it incredibly depressing when I look awful in some item of clothing that I really like (usually because it bulges in the wrong places!). HOWEVER, most of the time I feel confident in the clothes I am wearing.

alyth

A quick update - and frugal fairy, I followed your advice inadvertently without having read your post!

I have a lovely day out, knackering though going in and out of shops and trying stuff on though! I browsed through probably every shop in Perth, tried stuff on, realised what didn't suit me at all, realised that I'm always going to be a classic-type dresser rather than trendy, but I picked up some fantastic tops in New Look's sale (I always thought I was too old for them!), bought shoes and boots and a few odd pieces of jewellery from charity shops, then came home and went through my wardrobe and seem to have tons of stuff I didn't know I had, and I count myself as a really frugal person! I couldn't face the make-up girls, despite one of them smiling at me, so I'll save that for another day. But it was really interesting to see what other women wear, good and bad, I sat and had a coffee and just watched people going by and looked at them, and realised I'm perhaps not that bad! I had have stuff to accessorise with, so I'm going to try and move out of my black comfort zone, even if it's with scarves and jewellery, but I really appreciate all the advice you all gave me, thanks so much.

belfastgirl23

You could be me

Just to add it is worth going into shops you wouldn't normally go into. I got two new suits for £20 in Woolworths the other day. I hadn't been in there in YEARS! I suddenly realised that of my friends, the ones who dress best use a very wide range of shops. It amazed me when I thought about it that I only really have a list of about 5 shops I go into when I'm looking for something to wear.

Still struggling to get away from the black though

dianadors

You could be me too - infact, I think that we are in the majority rather than minority.
I am in my 40's and am a stone heavier than I was (and it wont shift!!). I am between a size 14 and 16 so when I try things on they are too big or too small. I tend to try on things that suited me when I was in my 20's and 30's and they dont suit me at all now! but I dont know what would suit me. I absolutley hate the bright abstract smock tops that are in every shop at the moment - hopefully they will be short lived! I also have forgotten how to "dress up" (when I have to, I feel and look overdressed) I'd love to look smart/casual, but end up in combats and a T shirt for comfort and practicality. I dont know what to do with my hair - Ive paid a fortune for a consultation with the most senior consultant in a top hairdressers in the nearest city to where I live - only to have her doing the managers job simultaneously whilst listening to me/cutting my hair - it didnt look any different when I left! The more I try to "makeup" the worse I look!! I have kids, work and my husband does shifts, so I dont get much (almost none) time to go shopping. If I go with the kids, dd ends up coming home with a load of stuff and ds strops!! aaagggghhhhh
I do need advice - I would love a date with Trinny and Susannah - I will book some time with a personal shopper as it is inspiration I need.

beachbeth

I feel the same. Im 42 and weigh nearly a stone more than I did in my 20's and 30's and just can't find the incentive to try to lose it. Added to this, I am only five foot tall and also have a big bust as well as hips! Its hard to find clothes when you have curves and even harder when you're not very tall either! I would like to lose half a stone for the summer but don't know if I'll manage it.

Whether I do or not I have just lost interest in clothes (not that Ive ever been that interested!). I hate the fashion at the moment - those brightly coloured tops that look like pregnancy tops to me!!! When I try things on I end up looking at my excess flab in the mirror and feeling depressed!

My sister-in-law and I were driving into town last Saturday and passed a lady walking along who was late 40's and not exactly skinny who looked really lovely! She wore a skirt and brightly coloured top and I think a scarf and looked so well put together and we both commented that it just shows you can look really nice and trendy too even if you're not 18! I just wish I knew how to dress myself! I end up in jeans and a jumper all the time.