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Fuming...husband just doesn't get it

Posted the other week about my hubby spending as he felt, had serious heart to heart, went through accounts etc he promised he understood and would stop spending without thinking. Logged onto bank today, £50 gone on cigarettes and bike fuel AGAIN he insists on filling up his tank even if the bikes not gonna be used for a week, and does nothing about trying to stop smoking even though we can't afford it.
I could cry, I was feeling guilty for 'wasting' money taking the kids to a playgym when it was raining the other day and he's spending cash like its never-ending.
Told him this and he just tells me what I want to hear to shut me up then carries on as before.
Really don't know what to do I'm so sick of it
SEPTEMBER
Barclaycard 0% £7127.55/£7162.99

Virgin 0% £4571.29/£4617.66
Joint O/D £500
Single O/D 1 £300 Single O/D 2 £300
TOTAL £12,798.84/£12,880.65

«1

Comments

  • Put all the finances in your name and give him pocket money?

    At least if the bike's tank is full he won't need to fill it for a while - or does he just go on random journeys because the fuel is there?

    Stop him smoking in the house. Or anywhere near the house.

    Not sure what else to suggest. *hugs*

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • Heffi1
    Heffi1 Posts: 1,291 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Separate bank accounts and move your money into there, maybe with the direct debits and transfer over enough to cover the bills then leave him with what is left, then see if he manages to have little treats when the account is empty, it 'might' concentrate the mind for him.

    I hope it gets better soon
    :) Been here for a long time and don't often post
  • kittie27 wrote: »
    I could cry, I was feeling guilty for 'wasting' money taking the kids to a playgym when it was raining the other day and he's spending cash like its never-ending.

    How is he wasting money?

    Unless he agreed to give up smoking or stop riding then I don't see how you can see this as frivolous, it's just basics that need to be budgeted for.

    £50 does sound like a lot though for cigs and petrol, my bike costs £17 to fill up.
  • I'm tempted to buy a bike with that petrol figure floop!

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • Growurown
    Growurown Posts: 5,498 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    I threatened separate bank accounts, that seemed to work. As for giving up smoking? I know lots of people on benefits who struggle to pay for basics like food and they still smoke. They mostly go for roll ups and make that last. It's a lot cheaper than buying a pack of 20.
    DMP Mutual Support Thread No. 421

    Debt free date 25/11/2015 - Made It!
  • BigAunty
    BigAunty Posts: 8,310 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Download the MSE budget planner and get him to fill it in, or do it together, so he understands where the money should go, including the debt repayment strategy.

    See if he's amenable to cutting up his cards and getting an agreed cash allowance for pocket money from you. See if he's amenable to stopping smoking - see if there are any free NHS or community smoking cessation programmes to sign him up to or free nicotine patches/electronic cigarettes.

    Smoking is an addiction and you can't make any addict give up unless they want to.

    Not really sure why keeping a full tank of petrol for future use is a big issue.
  • Sorry to clarify this includes various purchases of cigs over the weekend which have all gone out of the bank today, he's spending money which has been put aside for direct debits. I suggested last week that as things are tight maybe a fiver in his bike till we get paid would be more appropriate. Yes he has promised to stop smoking and I only find out he's bought more when it goes out of the bank. Was more a vent than anything to be honest. Going to hide debit cards, split cash after bills etc and give him his half like I should have done last week!!
    SEPTEMBER
    Barclaycard 0% £7127.55/£7162.99

    Virgin 0% £4571.29/£4617.66
    Joint O/D £500
    Single O/D 1 £300 Single O/D 2 £300
    TOTAL £12,798.84/£12,880.65

  • kittie27 wrote: »
    Sorry to clarify this includes various purchases of cigs over the weekend which have all gone out of the bank today, he's spending money which has been put aside for direct debits. I suggested last week that as things are tight maybe a fiver in his bike till we get paid would be more appropriate. Yes he has promised to stop smoking and I only find out he's bought more when it goes out of the bank. Was more a vent than anything to be honest. Going to hide debit cards, split cash after bills etc and give him his half like I should have done last week!!

    So, ask him how these direct debits are going to be paid. the more you hide things and allow him to duck out of taking responsibility the longer this will go on.
    If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.
  • kathy206
    kathy206 Posts: 1,438 Forumite
    Bless you. No real advice but just keep spelling it out to him. Tell him he's used money set aside for direct debits,tell him what that money is for. My OH sulked last Fri night because I wouldn't give in and have a takeaway. This is after I'd done a shop.:mad:
    I spelt it out in very simple terms what our remaining money was earmarked for until we got paid. He soon snapped out of it. :D
    Give him a set amount for his bike and fags and make him stick to it. Good luck xx
    Nuts oh Hazelnuts:rotfl:
  • kittie27 wrote: »
    and bike fuel AGAIN he insists on filling up his tank even if the bikes not gonna be used for a week

    With the price of petrol going up, filling the tank now, rather than next week, is actually a sensible thing to do.
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