Dating when a single parent, how?

chocdonuty

Apart from the difficultly in first finding a lovely gentleman of course
How does a single parent go on dates and have a relationship if you are always looking after a little un?
dd's dad lives far away so only sees her in the hols and she's never keen on going to mums cos it's boring, (dd's 10) plus she lives an hour away on the bus and has to go once a week for my work anyways.
I feel awkward asking friends although try to arrange 'fun' sleepovers now and again with her friends, this does mean they often come to mine though and it's chaos lol!
So the only other option is schooltime dates.
How do other single parents do it? apart that is from waiting til the kids leave home lol!

marisco_2

chocdonuty wrote: »

How do other single parents do it? apart that is from waiting til the kids leave home lol!

_pale_ I'd have had to wait 20+ years, not an option obviously. Thanks to a very reliable and reasonably priced babysitting service I have an adult life of my own. All the while happy and confidant that my children are being well cared for in the comfort of their own home.

It helps greatly to get out there and mix with people. Keeps life stimulating and exciting. Have a look at www.sitters.co.uk and see what you think

It also means I can date people and not introduce them to my children till I feel 100% sure about them. I dont want my sons to turn round to me in years to come and say 'For gawd sake mother there was this bloke and that bloke in and out of our lives!' Chance would be a fine thing, but you get my drift.

fawd1

maybe join or start a babysitting circle? If you just google it, it gives you an idea of what its about. Basically for every hour you babysit for someone, they have to do the same back. If you can have peoples children overnight (assuming you know them obviously), then that might earn you 2 evenings for a couple of hours each if you know what I mean? Or say you have their kids for a weekend, in return you get four Friday nights babysitting. Worth a look maybe, as there's no cost involved.

newcook

do you have any other single mom friends in the same boat? if so, could you do each other a favour and look after each others children if one of you has a date?

shortdog

With difficulty, is the short answer! I called in favours, and begged more favurs from friends when me and my partner started dating, and he came round to mine some nights once the kids were in bed. The kids did start to have a lot of sleepovers with their friends for a while though!
However, he was a friend already, so the kids knew him, which made it easier.

Mr_Toad

Speaking as a bloke I can confirm it isn't easy.

I met and started dating a lovey girl who had two children. Her ex was a total git, as soon as he found out she was seeing someone he started messing her about with what had been regular access. He used to have the kids alternate weekends which all of a sudden became a problem.

She'd arrange for them to go to their dad and we'd arrange to go out and at the last minute he'd cancel just to annoy her.

There were only so many people she could ask and to be honest getting together became such an issue that it killed what could have been a great relationship. We had so little time together it just didn't work.

Good luck.

VitaK

This comes down to how much you want it.

Let your friends know you like to begin dating again. Im sure someone will volunteer a few hours here and there to make it possible.

downsizer3

I managed a relationship for a while - but my daughter was very young and so it wasn't so tricky- now she's 5 and I'm single. Frankly I've no idea how I'd approach it but if I did meet someone (what - in the supermarket???) I'd probably rely on sleepovers at friends, babysitters, grandparents and (unlikely to be regular) her dad.
I think it'd be hard to go out with someone who's not got kids as they're unlikely to understand - then again - if they have kids too - its more of a juggling act.
Tricky isn't it? I am , howevere a great believer in 'where there's a will'........so - find the guy first and don't let it put you off - its like all childcare - you'll muddle through somehow! Worth investigating local babysitting clubs etc now though so you're ready!!