Partner's Debt

debtinfo

ok one question what is his parents house position, ie value of the house, and total owed on mortgage and secured loan

gfplux

Your partner sound as though he may have an addiction (not just an addiction to spending money) this might be anything from Gambling to Chemicals. He needs help. Has he been to see his Doctor recently. He appears to be a danger not only to himself but to all the people he should care about.
I wish you lots of luck, I feel very sad about the whole situation you have described.

LannieDuck

This is going to be a bit harsh, and please note it's not aimed at you at all... but your partner really is taking the mickey.

Until your he decides to grow up and start taking some responsibilty for his mess (and not just the 'poor me, poor me' he's giving you at the moment), I don't think there's much point trying to sort it out for him. I have absolutely no sympathy for him - not only has he got himself into a(nother) mess, but he's dragged his family down with him.

Infact, he's in so much mess because his family have tried to help him out over and over again, meaning that he's been able to avoid the consequences of what he's done. I'm amazed that going bankrupt once wasn't enough for him - does he see it as a bit of an 'easy way out'? (Not that it is...) Does he just assume he can build up all this debt and walk away from it again?

I think you're best off trying to ensure that your situation is as safe as it can be - extricate your finances from his if possible, and see if you can help his family sort themselves out (with advice, information etc). And instruct them all to stop lending him money!

By all means keep trying to encourage your OH to start sorting his problems out... but ultimately you can't do it for him.