advice please

gingerwizard

Just wondering could anyone help me out here or at least point me in the right direction.
My ex gf and i split sometime in the middle of january earlier this year,hadnt heard nothing from her till yesterday when i recieved a phone call off her,saying that we needed to sort things out in regards of the house and what she feels shes entitled to,now for this to come up after nearly 3 months was slightly suprising but i asked her what she wanted to do and she suggested we meet up and talk about it,i agreed and we have arranged to meet up next thursday.During the call i was quite relaxed about it all as i decided the best bet was to wait till we could talk face to face,and hear her out as it were.
Now for some background to it all,we got together in 2002,i had a house already,she didnt as she was living at home,after about 3/4 months she moved in,then the usual comments started to come up about wouldnt it be nice to get a place together,somewhere that we both chose,so i put my house on the market and sold it very quickly in april 2004,we immediatly started to look for other houses and decided on a new build development,chose the plot and all the other stuff and that was that,waited 4 months for it to be built and then moved in august 2004,mortgage in joint names although she had not contributed to the 10% deposit that was made but i didnt see that as a problem,also when i sold the previous house i got rid of all the furniture as the house was new, so we wanted all new, and also for storage purposes, as we had a 4 month wait between selling and moving in.During the time we lived together,aug 04-jan 07,she had moved out three times, twice for a substantial length of time,two months,meaning she had not contributed to the mortgage or household bills also as i earnt more than i her i often let her off on her share when she had unexpected bills arise,m.o.t work and usally other such car bills,also as she has changed jobs a few times i subbed her when she had cash flow problems, so out of the time we were together in the new house ,41 months, i can say and prove ,as we had a seperate account for the house/mortgage bills which show all monies transferred in and from which account,that she contributed during half of that time,also i contributed 70% to her 30% when she did contribute.I have looked into this before and found out that the common law rule is just urban myth,and that in situations like this the law is quite grey, unlike marriage splits which are very black and white.She as said she as taken advice, i dont know this to be true as she could be bluffing,i guess i will find out when we meet up to discuss,one thing is for sure i wont give up what i worked hard for and bought and kept with my hard earned cash without a fight,why should someone who never gave towards the deposit and as missed there contribution to the house get anything,she came into the relationship with nothing so why take something?If the shoe was on the other foot i wouldnt want diddly squat,i wouldnt feel entitled to it either,i would just want to move on,maybe its the way of the modern world,but i feel she is bitter about it all and maybe some family or work colleague is 'egging' her on thinking that the common law rule is legally binding.
Anyway any advice or pointers to websites would be most helpful,i remember a while back martin posted some links to websites that are useful in these circumstances, as i used them last time we split, but she never wanted anything last time,but i cannot seem to find them this time around.

nrsql

Best is to hear what she has to say and be non commital. Say you'll go away and think about it - and if you don't think it's reasonable maybe bet advice yourself.

She will have a deal in mind and probably anything you suggest differently at the time will start an argument.

Sounds like you paid the 10% deposit and 70% of everything else so maybe you could take the current value of the house - take of 10% then take of the outstanding mortgage then her equity would be considered 30% of the result.
Do that calculation and see if you think it's reasonable. I wouldn't suggest it when you meet her unless it's very close to what she suggests.

You might bring up the 70-30 costs split and see what she says - she might say she compensated with domestic duties, choosing furnishings and such like, in which case you probably don't want to get into an argument about it at the time.

Phirefly

When my parents split up after 30 years of marriage and 3 kids, my Mum who you'd think would automatically be entitled to the shirt off my dad's back had to fight tooth and nail for anything at all.


The relevance of this to you is that in your circumstances if what you say is accurate, after a relatively short relationship with no binding legal ties, if you wanted to be a complete sh*t and tell her where to go that would probably be the end of it and she wouldn't have a leg to stand on. So anything you ARE prepared to concede to her she should see as a bonus. Sounds harsh but thats how it is.

Tiger_greeneyes

If I understand the law correctly (and I've just been through a divorce) if you can prove who put what into the property via means of a paper trail, then you've got far more chance of coming out of it with your proper share.

Try working out what each of you have put into the property, write it all down and take it along with you when you meet your ex - just in case you need to show her how you've come to that way of thinking.

It would be a nightmare getting solicitors involved for anything other than the transfer of equity (ie putting the house into your name only) and could go back and forth for months (at best) and cost you more than it would to make her an offer based on the figures you work out.

At the end of the day, it's joint names on the mortgage and deeds and she could realistically ask for half. She could force you to sell the house, if she really wanted to. An amicable offer is definitely something worth considering.

densol_2

Defintely try to agree to settle this with her. Her name is on the deeds - she is a joint owner - you want her name off. By being on the mortgage she has allowed some risk and would be entitled to something. As you are not married you are faced with land law, and land tribunals.

In other words very very expensive. To prove this and that ie who paid what - think of paying a solicitor £180 to £200 per hour plus VAT. It is horribly expensive and the costs woudl eat up any equity very fast.

Remeber she cannot get another mortgage easily by being on the mortgage - maybe she has her own agenda for wanting to sort it.

Work out a sum you think is reasonable & ask her what she wants to transfer the equity try and meet in the middle-you will both think you are being shafted by the other- remember you will pay stamp duty on half the outstanding debt ( mortgage) plus the consideration ( what you pay to her ) . If that goes over £125k you pay 1% - mad eh to pay stamp duty on something you already own !! :mad:

Hope you can sort it out - Ive been through two of these - not easy - its much easier if you are married !

david29dpo

are you joint tenants or tenants in common?

Rick62

I think nrsql and densol are on the right lines. She is on the deeds/mortgage and you want her off (transfer of equity).

I would calculate the payments you each made over the period (sounds like about 80% you?) then work out the increase in equity (ie. current value, less mortgage less your deposit). Do this by looking at stats for price movements in your area, sold prices of similar houses etc. Then offer her that same proportion of any increase (ie 20% of increase if she contributed 20%).

Personally I would raise this when you meet. After all if she says 'i want half' and you say 'i'll think about it' she'll think your a wuss! Just say 'no way, this is a fair amount on an equitable basis'.

If you do agree an amount don't pay it, make the payment part of the legal transfer process.

And please use sentances and paragraphs - its really hard work reading your opening post!