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Real-life MMD: Should I give former colleague an undeserved reference?
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Under no circumstances should you provide a character reference that does not reflect your honest opinion of another's ability, honesty, integrity, diligence or anything else for that matter.
Employers have enough legislative difficulty ridding themselves of staff who are useless, incompetent, malingerers, without the additional handicap of a false reference that puts someone who is less than capable in a glowing light. Put yourself in the employer's shoes, and think what he/she would think of you as the referee when your friend's shortcomings are discovered. What reference would he give you?
It might sound heartless given your friend's circumstances, but there are plenty of other people struggling along in similar situations, who would be more deserving of the job sought.0 -
The reason I was led to believe this was that you are not by law obligated to provide a reference if asked (you can say no), therefore if you do provide one then you are rating that person as suitable for the job. What a responsibility! However, at the end of the day whatever job she gets we all have our off days and you could have a brill track record and then have a moment of madness. I would have no hesitation in providing a character reference as long as the person knew that it was speaking about the person as someone I know, not someone who works for or with me.
"it is easier to not say something than to spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn't, then again the opposite applies".;)
Tesco Credit Card £250 £25 DD 0% for next 10 months.
Barclaycard Initial £241.45 0% for next 7 mths.Your parents choose your beginning....
.... you get to choose the ending.0 -
if she is only an ex colleague, why should you. if she is also a friend then maybe, but make sure she knows this is it.0
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It seems to be unanimous but one thing we've not looked at is how you can be both professional and be a friend to her. We're assuming she knows how badly she performed, maybe with her husbands condition she was too distracted and unaware . . .
I'd suggest calling or better still meeting her to ask how she felt the last post went, then give her factual examples of where she fell short, for those reasons why you can't give her a reference. This would allow you to be fair to the next employer but also assist her in securing a new post that she may actually be able to keep, she can learn from where she went wrong . . . . she may even find that work is no longer something she wants to do, if the expectations are beyond what she's capable of.
Best of luck ;o)0 -
I totally agree with Brian Steele. I worked in H.R. for a number of years and would warn against giving a misleading/false reference, either written or verbal; legally, you can be held responsible if your reference proves to be wrong.0
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You say she was an old colleague, so did you work with her before this role? If yes, can you give a reference based on that performance?
In many jobs I have applied for, they ask for a referee for any job I've held in the last 5 years. They never contacted any of them, I think they liked a name and number as it shows you aren't making it up, and anyone they did contact was simply to confirm I had worked there and was telling the truth.
I could be wrong, but I was also under the impression you are not allowed to give someone a bad reference, so I agree, keep it simple with dates and her responsibilities.0 -
NO NO NO. I was involved in an organisation who employed someone on a glowing reference. They were absolutely abysmal at their job and also caused so much bad feeling within the organisation that some years on people still aren't on good terms with others. We later found out that the glowing reference had been given as a way of getting rid of them from the former place. You have to be honest.0
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To refuse to give a reference is slander - beware! References should be confidential so you should be able to write a fair comment but there is always a risk....... You can use 'hidden' language such as 'fair' and 'average', not in themselves harmful but when a referee uses such words instead of extolling their virtues, the message is so very load and clear to the reader. You can even suggest that her boss would have been more able to give an in-depth comment thereby pointing out your reference is not so in-depth and there is somthing else.....0
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Perhaps you could find a few positive things to say, without lying, if you want to help her - she might not mess up in a new role. For example, she might be a good time-keeper, or has good attention to detail, or whatever. We all have to live.0
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If it's a work reference and not a personal reference, just do a basic HR reference, stating the dates she worked at the company and what her duties were. If it's going to be a phone reference just keep the answers short, don't lie, but don't expand on anything.
I agree - no need to upset your friend by refusing and no need to lie or give an unjustified glowing reference - just stick to basic facts and try not to sound too negative. I am sure the prospective employer will be able to read between the lines.0
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