advice please

gingerwizard

Just wondering could anyone help me out here or at least point me in the right direction.
My ex gf and i split sometime in the middle of january earlier this year,hadnt heard nothing from her till yesterday when i recieved a phone call off her,saying that we needed to sort things out in regards of the house and what she feels shes entitled to,now for this to come up after nearly 3 months was slightly suprising but i asked her what she wanted to do and she suggested we meet up and talk about it,i agreed and we have arranged to meet up next thursday.During the call i was quite relaxed about it all as i decided the best bet was to wait till we could talk face to face,and hear her out as it were.
Now for some background to it all,we got together in 2002,i had a house already,she didnt as she was living at home,after about 3/4 months she moved in,then the usual comments started to come up about wouldnt it be nice to get a place together,somewhere that we both chose,so i put my house on the market and sold it very quickly in april 2004,we immediatly started to look for other houses and decided on a new build development,chose the plot and all the other stuff and that was that,waited 4 months for it to be built and then moved in august 2004,mortgage in joint names although she had not contributed to the 10% deposit that was made but i didnt see that as a problem,also when i sold the previous house i got rid of all the furniture as the house was new, so we wanted all new, and also for storage purposes, as we had a 4 month wait between selling and moving in.During the time we lived together,aug 04-jan 07,she had moved out three times, twice for a substantial length of time,two months,meaning she had not contributed to the mortgage or household bills also as i earnt more than i her i often let her off on her share when she had unexpected bills arise,m.o.t work and usally other such car bills,also as she has changed jobs a few times i subbed her when she had cash flow problems, so out of the time we were together in the new house ,41 months, i can say and prove ,as we had a seperate account for the house/mortgage bills which show all monies transferred in and from which account,that she contributed during half of that time,also i contributed 70% to her 30% when she did contribute.I have looked into this before and found out that the common law rule is just urban myth,and that in situations like this the law is quite grey, unlike marriage splits which are very black and white.She as said she as taken advice, i dont know this to be true as she could be bluffing,i guess i will find out when we meet up to discuss,one thing is for sure i wont give up what i worked hard for and bought and kept with my hard earned cash without a fight,why should someone who never gave towards the deposit and as missed there contribution to the house get anything,she came into the relationship with nothing so why take something?If the shoe was on the other foot i wouldnt want diddly squat,i wouldnt feel entitled to it either,i would just want to move on,maybe its the way of the modern world,but i feel she is bitter about it all and maybe some family or work colleague is 'egging' her on thinking that the common law rule is legally binding.
Anyway any advice or pointers to websites would be most helpful,i remember a while back martin posted some links to websites that are useful in these circumstances, as i used them last time we split, but she never wanted anything last time,but i cannot seem to find them this time around.

PrincessG_2

Have you tried posting in the House buying, renting and selling board? Someone on there will know more about what you should do. I'm pretty sure I've seen threads along similar lines.

Do some google searches on co-ownership and joint ownership. Your situation depends on how you bought the house and the way the solicitor drew up the papers. Chances are you jointly own the house (even though you paid more initially and more towards the mortgage). Unfortunately all the info says you should be very careful when buying a house with someone to ensure you safeguard your money. Your ex probably thinks she's entitled to half and most of the websites you look at will say the same. However, if it went to court you would probably come away with more than 50%. If your ex isn't being reasonable then you should seek legal advice.

Did you pay for all the furniture yourself? Do you have any receipts? I think you own and can keep everything in the house you paid for.

Good Luck

mountainofdebt

My first thought i that the problem I think you face that unless there was a written agreement as to what should happen in the event of a split, the starting point will be 50:50.

My second thought is that why get yourself worked up over a situation that might not arise. Your ex MIGHT actually want to sort out the situation and want nothing more than is due to her.

Meet her and then take it from there, depending on what she ACTUAL wants rather than what you think she will be after.

sarymclary

Hi,
I think you are right to be wary. However, as suggested, the meeting will give you an opportunity to find out exactly what it is she wants, where she believes she stands, and how she hopes things might progress from here.

I believe that once you are armed with this information, and working on an assumption that your prediction that she's hoping to get 50% of the house equity and half the contents of your 'joint home', you should then seek some legal advice. There are different rules on co-habiting, however these rules are generally based on a 'contributing' factor, and since there are no children involved it should be a little more simple to sort out. That said however, you entered into this venture on a 'joint' basis, and regardless of a % of contribution it can be seen that you went into this knowing that she was not in a position to contribute on a 50/50 basis.

I doubt she'll achieve a 50% split, since you paid the deposit, but if she can show that she made a contribution too (which I believe will be calculated on a % of her earnings, not a % of the full amounts of say bills/mortgage payments) the split will be worked out along those lines.

gingerwizard

mountainofdebt wrote: »

My first thought i that the problem I think you face that unless there was a written agreement as to what should happen in the event of a split, the starting point will be 50:50.

My second thought is that why get yourself worked up over a situation that might not arise. Your ex MIGHT actually want to sort out the situation and want nothing more than is due to her.

Meet her and then take it from there, depending on what she ACTUAL wants rather than what you think she will be after.

well those are my thoughts too,thats why i stayed calm on the phone and agreed to meet her in a neutrul location,it may turn out she wants a reasonable amount and thats all,fingers crossed.

Morglin

If she seems unreasonable, don't agree to anything - just tell her that you need to seek legal advice.

Lin

NAR

You want to avoid going the legal route if at all possible, as you will find your solicitor(s) bills eating up the amount you may have in dispute.
It may be a hard bullet to bite but you may be better off giving a better deal than 70/30 to come to an amicable result avoiding solicitors. Good luck.