Help!How do you make someone moneywise?

orcocan

im sorry there's people who'd need your money much more than your daughter, if you feel charitable give your money where it can make a difference, not to spoil an already spoiled family

i quote one of the previous posters, I can understand your feelings, but you think you're helping her, YOU ARE NOT!

the fact that they're not "moneywise" is also your own fault, and that is seed for trouble the day they will have no one to bail them out, think about it

progressive_uk

In addition to the thoughts of others (i.e. you are enabling their behaviour), if you are put in a position where they are asking to be bailed out/stuff to be bought for them, then you should insist that they sell their car (or anything else of value they don't actually need) to you at 80% of its market value, and you will then incur the hassle of selling it on the open market at its full value (and make sure you sell it immediately otherwise they'll want to borrow it all the time). Or they can incur the hassle and get its full market value.

Ultimately they aren't going to listen until forced to

ms_night_ryder

I'm a pensioner now, home paid for and living a sensible low cost lifestyle a la mse. If i don't help her out the money is just laid in the bank doing nothing.[/QUOTE]

You hit the nail on the head in your last line, you don't actually want to stop giving her money, you just want her to be wiser with the money you give her.

Why should she stop being reckless with money? you are there to keep bailing her out, as you said if you don't the money just sits there, it may be best to give her upfront all the money you can afford to spare and tell her to get on with it and there is no more after, it is effectively what you are doing anyway.

Sorry if i sound harsh, but sometimes a reality check is needed.

LannieDuck

I think there are better ways you can help your daughter and her family with your 'money in the bank' rather than using it to bail her out repeatedly. How about setting up a trust fund for your grandchildren, or put it in an ISA for university fees?

I understand your desire to help your daughter, but the best thing you could do is to help her learn to live within her means. If she continues to spend more than they earn, it will eventually end in heartbreak. Helping to teach her that money isn't unending might be one of the kindest things you could do.

I have an 11 month old baby, and your post has made me realise that you never quite stop being a parent, even when your children are grown!

Heffi1

Another thought, what will happen when you have bailed them out again and have no money of your own left, they then spend once more. You would not be able to help then and that is when they would truly become adults and parents, in that they would have to organise their finances in a way that gets the bills paid and for the first time they might have to say NO we cannot afford that so we will not have it.

When that day comes your work will be done as a parent and you will know you have done all you can to make your daughter a fully independant member of society.

At the moment she is still a daughter who runs to dad everytime the going gets tough.

Your job as a parent is to make her independent of you and not need you for anything, then the good times start as you can take pleasure in the Grandkids and your daughter and her partner without the worry of how they are coping.

I hope that makes sense and does not offend.