Teenage spot picking!

toffee'n'tom

I don't know if this is the correct board for this or the right website but I need help with my teenage son's spot picking before he ruins his skin and I lose my sanity.

He's 17, 6ft tall, good looking with a fantastic figure as he's a keen sportsman. He naturally does have the odd teenage spot but doesn't suffer from serious or even mild acne. He's not over confident, but doesn't lack confidence. He's a bright lad in 6th form hoping to go to uni (not that that's got anything to do with it)

Thing is he doesn't stop picking or clawing at his face or back from the niute he wakes up to the minute he goes to sleep. He's in the bathroom mirror first thing and appears with massive red lumps all over his face where he's picked. He doesn't constantly return to the mirror all day (only when he visits the loo which involves more mirror picking) he just constantly randomly scratches at or has his fingers and thumbs round the skin on his face. And I mean constantly. He does it when he's speaking to me, any family member or even a complete stranger. he doesn't stop when he's sitting watching TV. He does it in restaurant when ordering a meal, eating the meal. He does it in shops - just about anywhere and any time. You name it, he doesn't stop. In fact the only time he does stop is when he is asleep (I think) or when he has both hands occupied - I mean a playstation controller!!! His face is constantly red, blotchy and lumpy where he's been or is picking

The most important thing is it's ruining his skin and secondly it is driving me mad. It's causing countless arguments. I've bought dozens of products to encourage him to allow his skin to clear up which he uses once and never again. I've showed him pictures of what he will do to his face! I've tried to tell him how socially unacceptable it is - he just doesn't care and we end up shouting at each other.

The only time I have seen him trying to stop and using face washes is when there may have been a girl on the scene. But it didn't last long (I'm not sure about the girl)

Does anyone please have any suggestions? Sometimes I can't even sit in the same room as him.

zaxdog

My OH had similar problems and when he went onto a mild anti-depressant for an unrelated problem it just stopped. Because it seems to be a complusion though maybe some behaviour modifying therapy might help?

Tish_P

Leave him be?

His behaviour does sound very annoying, but take a step back and see the big picture. He's not on drugs, he's not got anyone pregnant, and he's got his life very much in order - many parents would consider you blessed.
If it's some kind of OCD or anxiety thing, getting him to a doctor or therapist might help, but if he doesn't see it as a problem - well, bluntly put, your options are to chill out, or keep fighting until it ruins your relationship.

thegirlintheattic

Sometimes it's a habit. I used to pick at spots as a teenager as it was a habit (no it didn't ruin my skin). I still occasionally do it to my OH when I'm not thinking about it.

nzmegs

it is an OCD problem - well in my case anyway. I have a similar problem with spots on my upper arms. I used to get loads of them and would pick at them all day if I could. All that stopped me was keeping my finger nails really short and wearing long sleeved tops.

I changed my diet a few months ago and the spots went away. Now and again I find myself checking for new spots hoping to find some. But and always disappointed when there are none. If I could fabricate them I would...

This is what it is for me. The anticipation of a spot bursting even in a minor way is like a drug. it feels amazing when that happens because it has cleared out of your skin the "dirt" that was there. The thought of leaving that dirt in your skin feels terrible. it feels like a release to get it out. You also never know what the result will be, it might be a great spot or it could be a little one. But what you do know is that it will be nice and "clean" after it has been squeezed.

The consequences are not really thought about at the time.

My son does it too... I am sure that my obsession led to his.

Anyway I would encourage the following for your son - keep his nails really short, encourage face washing, try a modified diet to clear up his skin (sugar and wheat free work great), try a weekly facial to open up the pores.

I hope that helps you to understand where the obsession comes from. It is a physical release...

Fire_Fox

There is a medical condition called dermatillomania, would be worth seeking the advice of the GP in case this is the issue here. Telling him off and increasing his stress levels is the absolute last thing you should do.

Definitely agree, diet plays a huge role in skin health and healing. Focus on low glycaemic index, anti inflammatory foods - these are also beneficial in his sporting goals. There is no evidence wheat free or dairy free is an effective treatment for acne, only a small minority are intolerant or allergic.

dizziblonde

I do it too - it's hard to explain - part of it for me is needing my hands occupied, and part of it is incredibly satisfying - like scratching a massive itch when you have a good pick - I also pick at the skin on the cuticles of my fingers and am a terrible terrible nail biter too. I think the skin picking's linked to the nail biting since it's mainly spots on my chin that get it in the neck.

Could be anxiety related - I know I have an anxiety disorder.

If it's any consolation I haven't ended up with long-term scarring (yes I've been lucky)

toffee'n'tom

Thanks everybody. I know it might seem trivial in the scheme of things and yes, I do need to take a step back and chill out. It's now probably become an obsession for me to try and stop him!!!

I do encourage face washing - I have face washes at every point possible. His diet is fine - because of the sport.

I think it really is becoming my problem now that I have to chill and deal with. I suppose sometimes you need peopel to point these things out to you.

colli

I pick, I always have and probably always will It's a mild distraction/absent minded habit for me, I guess in the same way people chew gum or bite their nails

The good news is I have very few scars (only some on my arms and legs as I react very badly to insect bites but I don't think that necessarily my fault as they were soooo itchy!). Since my teenage spots cleared up on my face my skin is usually pretty great, certainly no scars from where I picked in the past but maybe the odd blemish where I've picked the odd spot that still crops up when you're older.

If his skin is that bad a trip to the dr's might be worth a go, I never found any of the chemist spot remedies did any good at all.

To be honest it sounds like it's your problem more than his! It sounds a bit harsh to say you find it hard to be in the same room as him! Sorry, I'm firmly on your son's side for this.....I agree leave it alone, it's not worth causing rows over and he won't listen anyway. My dad recently told me off for picking, I instantly snatched my hands away and felt guilty, then I remembered I was 32 and old enough to pick if I wanted and told him so

Fire_Fox

toffeentom wrote: »

Thanks everybody. I know it might seem trivial in the scheme of things and yes, I do need to take a step back and chill out. It's now probably become an obsession for me to try and stop him!!!

I do encourage face washing - I have face washes at every point possible. His diet is fine - because of the sport.

I think it really is becoming my problem now that I have to chill and deal with. I suppose sometimes you need peopel to point these things out to you.

The standard diet for sport is often neither low glycaemic index nor anti inflammatory: please don't assume it is. Overwashing is not the solution, in fact that can worsen acne by causing the skin to pump out more sebum, destroying the protective acid mantle and beneficial skin flora, thinning the stratus corneum.

Turtle2010

I do it too. I have done for as long as I can remember. Perhaps not to the extent of your DS, but if I see a blocked pore, I have to clear it. I have special mirrors etc! It's always worse when i'm stressed or upset.

I don't have any scarring which is unbelievable given when I have done / do to it on a regular basis, but then i'm very strict about keeping my skin squeaky clean.

I do believe it's an anxiety issue, but it may also be a habit he'll kick in his own time.