£75k+debts

clovis_2

Had the first payplan phone call last night, wasn't as painful as I thought.

I need to get back to them with a couple of details I had missing and they should be back in contact after about 5 working days, so I guess end of next week beginning the week after.


She did suggest to change my bank account. The wife will have to as well. She didn't mention anything about not getting an account with an overdraft facility. Can I apply for say an A&L account that has an overdraft but not use it or do I have do go for a basic basic account at say the co op. Just thought it would be nice to have another online account and get the 50 quid a & l are offering.

I'll post the soa details on here later havent got them with me at present.

ANy advice much appreciated as always.

temba

You may have already thought about this but what about renting your house out for, say, 6 months and renting a smaller one NEARER to your kids' school? That way you may get more in rent than your mortgage payment (you will have to do the maths) and at the same time you will save money on ferrying your kids about, especially if you are in walking/cycling distance.

Also, this doesn't mean giving up your house forever, just for a while.

pusscat

Clovis

Sorry to hear about your situation - I am not a DFW, but your post caught my eye. I know a little story that may (or may not!) help you/your wife see things in a different way....

My now OH was once (many moons ago) married to someone else, few kids, worked but didn't get paid a huge wage but plenty to live on. He and his wife were not rich but they were comfortable. His wife met some new friends where the husband was an IT contractor and she started trying to keep up with these new friends. She spent them into debt (not serious yet) and told OH that he would have to become a contractor to give her the lifestyle that she and the kids "needed". OH became a contractor as the debt frightened him and he wanted to make her happy and he earned good money. Ex wife continued to up her spending habits at a greater rate than he could up his earnings. All of the luxuries that usually go with a rich lifestyle became vital to their existance if she was not to be shown up in front of her new social circle. They tried discussing it but the spending issues never really got solved.

Husband felt like the proverbial cash cow, he only existed to make money and things deteriorated between them badly. Eventually he discovered that she was having an affair and shortly after that they seperated. Everything was sold off or went back to the HP company and they got divorced. The debts of the marriage were paid off and they spent over £30k in the divorce courts as the ex refused to believe there was not any more money hidden anywhere. He walked away with a few thousand, she walked away with the remaining equity from the house (less than £75k after they had used MEWing for paying for all sorts) and they have not exchanged a civil word since.

My now OH admits that it was both of them that were involved in the overspending - he felt that she was spending so much that him adding a bit more would not make any difference, their problem was that they did not both have a lightbulb moment - he knew there was a problem but was too scared of his marriage failing to do anything about it. By the time he was ready to tackle it the marriage was over in all but law.

All of the "show" stuff in their marraige was bought on debt, it was all loans or increases to the already huge mortgage.

These days, OH and I live relatively simply and I would guess that none of our friends or neighbours have any idea how much we earn. We are happy, secure and debt free.

Several morals to this tale....

Those that look rich by splashing the cash around are not always so

Real friends don't care how much you earn, they love you for who you are not what you have

Marriages/partnerships where money problems cannot be discussed openly have an issue.

Both partners need to pull together to achieve something.

Having the show lifestyle (and all the debt that goes with it) is not a recipe for a happy marraige. Working together and helping each other to solve the issues are.

If spending is out of control then it will always be out of control - no mattrer how much you earn. You need to solve the spending issues, not the earning issues first!

It sounds to me that you and your wife are in a similar position to my OH and his ex were early on in the story. Maybe if you can catch it in time and pull together as a couple you can get back on the right path. My OH did not see it until it was too late to save their marriage. On a selfish note I am glad as then I would not have met him.....

I hope it all works out for you - the experts here will be able to help with all the figures, but I thought maybe you and your wife would like to hear what happened in a similar situation when it was not tackled.....

On a final note, 7 years later the ex wife still has not had her lightbulb moment - her income is minimal, she spent the cash from the divorce settlement in less than 12 months on continuing to live a similar lifestyle (with virtually no income).

I am not trying to lecture you at all - maybe, just maybe, if you are able to share this post with your wife it may help her lightbulb to flick on?

Good luck

Puss

xx

chevalier

It is a good idea to get new bank accounts, because your old overdrafts just become another debt under the debt managment scheme. Also once you have got new accounts in place and your wages being paid into the new accounts, then you can tackle getting any bank charges back from your old bank.
Have you checked that your council tax banding is correct. People have been getting rebates because there house was in a higher band than it should be. Worth a look?
chev

dreams_R_free

chevalier wrote: »

Have you checked that your council tax banding is correct. People have been getting rebates because there house was in a higher band than it should be. Worth a look?
chev

Be very careful with this, Clovis. My brother queried his banding but was rebanded higher:eek: because of extensions etc completed since the original Council Tax assessment was done. You've already told us that extending and improving your home has been a major cause of your current financial predicament,

Good Luck with everything. I'll be following your progress with interest and toasting your success:beer:

[Deleted User]

temba wrote: »

You may have already thought about this but what about renting your house out for, say, 6 months and renting a smaller one NEARER to your kids' school? That way you may get more in rent than your mortgage payment (you will have to do the maths) and at the same time you will save money on ferrying your kids about, especially if you are in walking/cycling distance.

Also, this doesn't mean giving up your house forever, just for a while.

That is a top notch idea, either moving in with parents or getting a old caravan would be a great idea and get them out of debt withing a few years.

I would, you would but judging by the OP and wifes outlook on life and people that I have know who are similar they dont want to sacrifice there luxury life style to any great degree and so are hoping that the debt management company will manage to write off most of the interest.

freebiehunter29

nickkane-reported for posting :spam:

clovis_2

Just had a chat with payplan on options.

The person (philipa) was very helpful and I got the impression she knew what she was doing.

As I suspected an IVA is out of the question as I'm not insolvent because of my share of the potential equity. Of course bankrupty is out too.

A DMP is a possibility, given the current available monies left per month, that would take about 24 yeras to pay, of course we can make savings etc and reduce that. But, that doesn't stop interest, chasing etc, and because there is a large equity available they could take out a court charge against that. Not sure I like the idea of that.

The other option, if we can afford the payments is another mortgage or loan. Now that was my conclusion before calling them, but I wanted to check the other possibilities. And yes of course if we can sell and buy cheaper that's an option too, but 30k roughly expenses would be taken there.

But back to the other mortgage/loan option. Payplan have a sister company called who's lending. Mortgage/financial advisors, has anyone had any dealing whatsoever with who's lending????????? The website is just a place holder that say's 'mortgages made simple'.

https://www.whoslending.co.uk

OberonSH

Having had a quick read, I wouldn't advise getting another loan. You say you might not have addressed the underlying spending problem, and getting an account with an overdraft, then a bigger loan for the house is just adding to it. You did this before, didn;t you? You need to put a line under the debt and work on bringing it down.

How do you figure the 30k moving expenses? Have you actully worked this out. Even if you do end up paying £30k then that's still £143K LEFT OVER. Surely that's enough to at least put down a sizeable deposit on a smaller, more affordable place and then only have a small morgage to contend with.

Why isn't selling the house the most likely option? To be honest, you seem to want to keep the house at whatever cost, which is understandable. However, is the bricks and mortar worth the hassle you're going through?

I'm sorry if this seems a bit harsh, but with that sort of equity I'd have the sale board up before you could blink. If I have to buy a smaller house then so be it. I can always save up and upgrade in the future.

[Deleted User]

I get the feeling you are still hanging onto the dream clovis, a lifestyle you cant afford. You need to make some big decisions, you need to make those decisions and not falter in them.

-If you hang on to the house can you stop yourself from overspending for 24 years in order to pay off your debts?
-Or you can make the tough decisions and get out of debt quickly.

For example since your wife doesnt work, you could rent yourself a bedsit near work, rent out your big house to some big spender keep up with the jones yuppies, have your wife live with her parents with the kids. That way it may only be 4 years to get out teh pickle then from then on stick to your debit card. Or sell up, hard decisions you must make.

Loads of people surviving in this country on less then 4K/year you know