Am I missing something?

jfh7gwa

alfiemama wrote: »

for me I just feel that at 22 months my daughter is too young for full time nursery.

She isn't "too young". It's simply your opinion that you don't want to put her into full time nursery.

alfiemama wrote: »

Selfish as it sounds I think I would miss her too much.

Yes, most parents miss their children in those cases. I know I did, and I know my husband did when he was the one working the most hours. It's just something that you have to do - limiting yourself by "must earn less than x per week" / no more than 16 hours / and so on - I fear that your priorities are slightly too focused on the day to day needs of your child right now. Children may well miss you at the moment you leave them at a nursery door, but wouldn't it be better in the longer term (for your child, and yourself, and any future children) to aspire as high as you can? To try to build a path out of relying on the state (who give and take with whim)? In other words, change your mindset from being "I want to be with my child, which benefits them in the here and now, so I'm going to severely restrict what I'll do for employment"... into "I'm going to do whatever it takes to improve our lives in the long term"?

That's what a parent's job is - or, one of the biggies, anyway. Showing children that satisfying short term desires aren't always best over a longer term.

The reason I was at your earlier post:

Am I right in thinking that school postions and nursery jobs are the only jobs mums with kids can do?

The answer to that is only "yes" if you take into account the severe restrictions you're placing on your future employment. In an average day, you probably encounter all sorts of "mums with kids" - serving at the Post Office, serving you in a shop, providing a prescription at your local GP surgery, opening your bank account, a lady on leave from serving in the armed forces, managing your local cinema, a university lecturer... these are all women that "mums with kids" do. And they do them well.

You could be one of them, if only you opened up your ability to see past the here and now (and remove the employment restrictions you are choosing to enforce).

jfh7gwa

SandC wrote: »

I'm all for the gov giving free child care to workers and scrap giving cash out. Seems to work in other countries.

This works very, very well in other EU countries (I'm looking to Sweden and suchlike here).

What we would call benefits (credits) in the UK is more like a massive tax allowance over there. Don't work, you don't get cash. Work, and you basically get it paid for via those tax breaks - it works very well in theory and in practice. And it's high-quality childcare too.

The UK is great at many things, but the issues around working parents (parents, not just women) could do with some improvement - these are things that many countries do much better already, and have for many years.

alfiemama

jfh7gwa wrote: »

She isn't "too young". It's simply your opinion that you don't want to put her into full time nursery.

I did say I feel like that at the moment.







Yes, most parents miss their children in those cases. I know I did, and I know my husband did when he was the one working the most hours. It's just something that you have to do - limiting yourself by "must earn less than x per week" / no more than 16 hours / and so on - I fear that your priorities are slightly too focused on the day to day needs of your child right now.

I have to focus on the kids. I have one with sn and have to have some time free for the various appointments we have. My other child has a condition also.


Children may well miss you at the moment you leave them at a nursery door, but wouldn't it be better in the longer term (for your child, and yourself, and any future children) to aspire as high as you can? To try to build a path out of relying on the state (who give and take with whim)? In other words, change your mindset from being "I want to be with my child, which benefits them in the here and now, so I'm going to severely restrict what I'll do for employment"... into "I'm going to do whatever it takes to improve our lives in the long term"? Oh and I am doing. I am looking into a degree with the Open Uni.


That's what a parent's job is - or, one of the biggies, anyway. Showing children that satisfying short term desires aren't always best over a longer term. Oh and another biggie is giving your child your time when they need it.



The reason I was at your earlier post:

This makes me upset. I am not a scrounger or lazy. I worked several jobs and good ones whilst the children have been growing up. I was a travel agent from home working until 12pm and also worked the Blind as a charity fundraiser. Again while the children were at home with no childcare. I just felt (notice I said I felt) that this put a lot of pressure on my husband to pick up the pieces whilst I went to work. I tried going out to work and within 2 weeks my son was in A&E 4 times as he hasn't the reflex to stop himself falling and falls directly onto his head.

I now do odd bits from home, Textbroker, Clickworker and reviewing books, oh, and I get paid as a carer. Another point I must mention is as my son has a heart condition his heart is having to work twice as hard, and he tires easily. Therefore, after school clubs are no good. So who on earth looks after my children (remember zero childcare) if the hours do not suit?

I think you are being very judgemental on 'listening' to a few of my forum posts, when you clearly don't know the full ins and outs of persons live. I clearly put in my first post. I want to go out to work.








The answer to that is only "yes" if you take into account the severe restrictions you're placing on your future employment. In an average day, you probably encounter all sorts of "mums with kids" - serving at the Post Office, serving you in a shop, providing a prescription at your local GP surgery, opening your bank account, a lady on leave from serving in the armed forces, managing your local cinema, a university lecturer... these are all women that "mums with kids" do. And they do them well. And lots (granted not all) have grannies they can go to, or such and such after school activity or a friends house



You could be one of them, if only you opened up your ability to see past the here and now (and remove the employment restrictions you are choosing to enforce).

I know that women/mums work in the jobs that you mention, I am trying to find one of these jobs but I need to be able to find the right kind og childcare for my daughter. I would prefer (me again) for her to be in a nursery setting, that could perhaps be worked up to fulltime. Like I said I want to work.