Help, hospital has decided my dad is DNR but haven't told him!

Hermia

Variable wrote: »

Being resuscitated is extemely unpleasent

My dad had advanced bone cancer at the end and we were told that resuscitation would probably break/fracture his weakened bones. As he only had a few weeks left we couldn't think of anything worse than waking up to discover you still were dying AND now had multiple fractures/breaks. The doctor didn't discuss it with my dad as he was so upset, but he could see how close my parents were and knew my dad had said that anything could be discussed with my mum.

Hermia

meritaten wrote: »

my family will have strict instructions that I am not to be taken to hospital under any circumstances.

If you give your family these instructions make sure you have a clause about what you should do if you are in pain. I know several people who wanted to die at home, but were so much happier when they were in hospital because it's so much easier to control pain there.

poppy10_2

Variable wrote: »

DNAR (do not attempt resuscitation) is a decision that can be made by senior doctors that will withhold attempts to save your life if they feel it will be unsuccessful or if a very poor quality of life will not be improved. This decision is the doctors decision

It should never be solely one doctor's decision. It should be discussed with other members of the team such as the named nurse or another senior doctor. They should discuss with the patient if they have capacity, and with the family if they don't. Not compulsory but poor practice not to.

Here's a sample DNAR form so that people can see the process
http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/community/care-support/partnerorgs/careinkirklees/workforce/DNACPRform.pdf

http://www.emas.nhs.uk/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd?AssetID=37116&type=full&servicetype=Attachment

Variable

Pretty sure I wrote "Senior Doctors"...

jackieb

My Dad had terminal lung cancer. A few weeks before he died one of their GP's came into his house. She said that it wasn't very nice but he was going to have to make a decision for when the time came. This upset my Dad and he just shook his head and waved his hand and said he couldn't talk about it.

In the end, Dad got a chest infection and was unconscious for about 36 hours before he died. The doctor in the hospital asked us what we wanted to do. We could have had put on an IV if we wanted but the doctor said it would just prolong his suffering, but it was entirely up to us. It is so, so hard to say no to any further treatment. We know it was for the best but it doesn't make the guilt any easier. I am just sad that the GP who came to the house didn't talk to us first before she asked him about a DNR. We knew him. We knew he didn't want to talk about the end. Some people do. My Dad didn't.

If there was ANY chance of him making a recovery we would have insisted on it, but in some cases there really is no hope. I think the doctors should ask the patient's family first to how they think the patient would react to being asked.

jackieb

pelirocco wrote: »

In our experience it wasnt a horrific way to die , those last few days were the most peaceful we had seen her and she had moments of alertness we hadnt seen for a long way , and although we cant say for sure she didnt appear to be in anyway uncomfortable and she just slipped gently away . This might sound odd but those last few days seemed to be the perfect way to die , surrounded by love ones and no distress or pain

This is how I feel. I think it depends how ill someone has been. We knew there was no getting better for my Dad. They made him as comfortable as he could be - and all of us stayed with him for his final 2 days - he was never alone in that time. The staff were really good.

silvercar

I find Variable's post very helpful. It has helped me get my head round certain things that happened when my father passed away last month.

silvercar

sassyblue wrote: »

I'm shocked by some of the stories here. l must be terribly naive, l assumed DNRs would be discussed with the patient unless they were unconscious.

I really feel for you OP xxx

It can depend on the families view on what the patient may want to know. If you are going to discuss DNR with a patient, you have to give them a strong indication that they are in their end of life phase, something they may not be ready to accept or want to know.

purple.sarah

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Just wanted to point out that it is perfectly possible to have a good quality of life following a hypoxic brain injury. My father was in hospital (with a DNR which we successfully had removed) and has subsequently read his medical records and got very distressed when he read the DNR part.

I didn't mean to imply it is impossible to have a good quality of life following a hypoxic brain injury but my dad does not have a good quality of life at the moment so that would be compounded by a brain injury.

I think he might agree with the DNR but I am worried that he will be shocked if he reads it in his medical records without it being discussed with him.