Paying for your own hen do

MrsDS2be

As the title says really. I've been asked to pay for my own hen do £139 and now I'm being asked to pay £100 to fund something that will benefit everyone (I'm thinking a limousine) I don't know the full ins and outs of the day&night but is anyone else paying for their own hen do and what are your thoughts on it??

dingdongavoncalling

I would expect to just pay my fair share.

nearlyrich

Who do you think should pay? Presume this is the hen do where you are the hen?

jtr2803

I'm going to be diplomatic here....

I would pay for myself without any issue but for the three hen dos I have attended so far, we have all chipped in an extra few pound to cover the hens activities. I thought that was fairly normal based on my own experiences?

johannalf88

I *think* mine is heavily subsidised, but my sister just keeps saying don't worry about it!
Go Ape- is free for me as sister works at the park, so gets hers free. She is giving it to me as the bride.
Hot tub- I think my sister has worked it out without me paying.
General food- provided by mum! (it's at family home)
Meal out- this one is on me (kind off!) I have loads of Tesco prezzo vouchers, so everyone has £15 each to spend. Should mean we just need to pay for drinks on the night (ish)
Drinks- BYOB- going to be bringing some fizz & wine

I know what is happening, so wouldn't mind paying. I think I would object if it was a mystery though- don't want to pay for something I would not like or want!

johannalf88

Just to add my OH is paying for himself on the stag- no substitutions. He knows what it is though.

Does everyone invited think it's good value for money?

TwinkleTwinkle_2

The last one i went on, we all gave a few pounds extra to cover the bride. I am trying to remember mine which was 9 yrs ago now, and i 'think' that the same happened then lol! i think on mine i just bought my own drinks.

minerva_windsong

When I've been on hen dos in the past we all put in extra to pay for the bride's share and I've been perfectly fine about doing that, but equally I would be quite happy to pay my own way on my own hen do. If anything I think I'd feel a bit guilty about not paying because I know how expensive hen dos can be, especially as mine is likely to be in London, and I don't like to think of my friends and family having to fork out extra so I don't have to. OK yes it's a night out in my honour but I pay my own way on my birthday for instance, so I don't see why my hen do should be any different.

That said though it's just my personal view and I appreciate everyone's opinion on this is different, so I think it's entirely down to the decision of the person organising the hen do as to whether or not the other hens pay for the bride (although in my view that should consider the financial position of all those going if possible).

74jax

I'm expecting to pay for mine. In fact I'm putting some money behind the bar for us all to have bottles of champagne.

We are looking at going away for a weekend and i will most certainly be paying my share for that, i'd rather more people came with me than couldn't because they had to pay for me.

I know they'll have surprises for me and would have had to pay for themselves and for the wedding too.

It hadn't occurred to me to mind....

MrsDS2be

Ok thank you for the input.

I'm paying my own no problem, but twice my bridesmaids have come to me asking for extra money, once because someone had pulled out n they didn't want to ask the other participants to cover the extra and now to cover the £100 which was a idea added onto the original plans. I don't know what it is we're doing and so maybe that's why I feel a bit weird about it all.

johannalf88

£100 extra is a bit steep- I would ask what that is for. Then you can decide whether it's worth it. And keeping coming to you for money is a bit cheeky imho.

Did you set a budget to begin with? And can you comfortably afford it?