God Parents

beautifulgorgeous_2

People do not have to to be Godparents to be a constant figure in a child`s life.

full-time-mum

beautifulgorgeous wrote: »

People do not have to to be Godparents to be a constant figure in a child`s life.

True enough

VickyA_2

DH and I are god parents to his (our) nephew. We obviously encourage all the good in him when we do see him, which isn't every week. However, we will encourage him to lead a good life which is what any aunt, uncle or friend of the family would do. SIL and BIL have put in their wills that if anything is to happen to them, then the guardianship would be passed onto my MIL and FIL.

My godparents were all cousins of my parents, but they never featured heavily in my upbringing.

My brother got the short straw - my mum and dad's friends. Two of whom are completely potty, one of which was my mum's best friend from college. She joined a cult (at the age of 50) and not even my mum has heard from her. Then again, at the age of 25, I think that my brother is old enough to look after himself.

midlandsfairy

Hi Full-time-mum

One of my godparents is an Aunt who (for various reasons) is estranged from the family and decided not to keep in touch with me/family many many moons ago so I second what several people have said about godparents not having to be 'official' for them to be important.

My little brother's godparents are wonderful people (my parents friends, but I have always thought of them as family) and have always said they regard me as one of their godchildren. Whether they are 'officially' mine or not, I still consider them godparents as they have been a lasting influence in my life (in a religious aspect and otherwise). Guardianship isn't really an issue tho since my 'baby' brother just turned 21 lol!

savvygirl7797

Greetings full time mum !
I, too, am in a quandry about my childs "distant" godparents. I have been looking for some time now to find a sort of "how to" for the disillusion of godparents...with no luck, I might add!
We chose "my" friends from childhood, with whom "I" had shared my life. When my husband came on the scene, he just became part of the group, so to speak. Then when children came, we became their 2nd daughter's Godparents, (Catholic), and they became our only child's Godparents, (Presbyterian).
Needless to say, we are no longer, and haven't been for over 5 years, on good terms. The "break-up" was bad enough, that for our part, a reconciliation will never be possible.
My daughter has absolutely no recollection of them, so I say, what exactly is the point? I'm sure her Godparents must feel the same?! Who knows...
The point is, I would like to dissolve this "relationship" and choose a couple who have remained a stedfast presence over the past 15 years.
Call it what you'd like...I say I am trying to right a wrong and give my child "real" dutiful godparents...as defined in most relgious text.

azjh77

I have been to a number of Christenings where the Godparents, although good friends of the child's parents, have no commitment to God and the service was just a gift gathering exercise.

I did not have my children 'baptised' but dedicated, they can choose to be baptised as adults. However during the ceremony the entire church stands and agrees to help my husband & I guide our children, so in effect they have 100 or so God parents.

Will your church allow a recommitment/conformation type ceremony to allow you to 'employ' the new Godparents?

VickyA_2

azjh77 wrote: »

I have been to a number of Christenings where the Godparents, although good friends of the child's parents, have no commitment to God and the service was just a gift gathering exercise.

I agree. In fact, I only became godmother to our nephew because someone else felt that they couldn't do the religious aspect of being a godparent (which is the whole point :rolleyes:). Having said that, DH is not a "church man" and took the vows that godparents take. I can't help but feel that he was being hypocritical and I know that he found it difficult to say all the "God stuff" (as he put it ).

full-time-mum

VickyA wrote: »

I agree. In fact, I only became godmother to our nephew because someone else felt that they couldn't do the religious aspect of being a godparent (which is the whole point :rolleyes:). Having said that, DH is not a "church man" and took the vows that godparents take. I can't help but feel that he was being hypocritical and I know that he found it difficult to say all the "God stuff" (as he put it ).

The whole thing is difficult in todays society. We aren't highly religious but OH parents are and I believe that christian values are important and a good basis for living. I'm typical in that I sit on the fence, its something that I want to believe in but find it difficult to reconcile with science and current society.

I had an aunt who was brought up Jewish - she used to say that she believed that God, which ever guise you took, basically wanted you to live a good honest life and be good and kind to other people.

If my children/god-children choose to take an active role in the church, then I will, as I promised, do all that I can to help and support them.

renowen

Can I just say - being a god parent doesnt actual give you any legal right to a child if something should happen to the parents

Children will go into the care of the nearest willing family member, unless the parents stated otherwise in their will, and even then that could be overturned in court!

It just seems that some think asking someone to be a god parent is asking them to care for the child if something happens to you, this is not the case, a god parent is responsible for the childs RELIGOUS upbringing, not their actual upbringing.

Debt_Free_Chick

A little OT, but ...

To anyone who is considering their choice of godparents, do - please - allow the future godparent to say "no thank you". My best friend left me with little option but to say "yes" and was so excited that it would be me, that I felt I couldn't say no.

Unfortunately, I simply have no interest raising/guiding/mentoring children and I am probably the worst choice she could have made

Do - please - sound your chosen GPs out and ask them if it's something they would like to do. Don't make out that you've bestowed some great honour on them (as my friend did) or make it sound like they've won the lottery :rotfl: I fully understand that's how you feel, as a parent, but you want committed GPs who feel the same way.