God Parents

full-time-mum

I've just been reading the "How to sack a bridesmaid" thread and wondered what you thought about my god-parenting situation. (We seem to have been totally mis-guided in our choice).

DD1s god-parent was a close friend from university who suddenly seems to have dropped out of my life.

DD2s god-parent was my brother's wife -now ex, and this is the only link we have with her. She sent cards for a couple of Xmas/Birthdays from her and (presumably) new man but it was just too wierd and we discouraged it.

Is there anyway that you can 'swear-in' extra (replacement) godparents?
Both children were christened in a CoE church.

beautifulgorgeous_2

I don`t think that you can formally get new godparents but if you had someone in mind then you could ask them to step in informally to "do the job" and explain that the origional ones have disappeared. My son has a new godmother who looks out for him in place of his godfather and when it comes to his confirmation etc she will be invited as one of his godparents. Really the promises made in church for them as babies are less important than continued contact in their lives and bringing them to God when they are old enough.

LittleVoice

I seem to recall that both parents and godparents promise, at the time of the baptism, to ensure that the children are brought up in the Christian faith.

If the godparents don't continue to be involved, then it simply means the parents have the responsibility without that further back-up. Did you actually need the godparents to help with this?

It seems you have rejected a godparent for your DD2 so the responsibility is even more with you on that one.

lizzie12_2

full-time-mum wrote: »

I've just been reading the "How to sack a bridesmaid" thread and wondered what you thought about my god-parenting situation. (We seem to have been totally mis-guided in our choice).

DD1s god-parent was a close friend from university who suddenly seems to have dropped out of my life.

DD2s god-parent was my brother's wife -now ex, and this is the only link we have with her. She sent cards for a couple of Xmas/Birthdays from her and (presumably) new man but it was just too wierd and we discouraged it.

Is there anyway that you can 'swear-in' extra (replacement) godparents?
Both children were christened in a CoE church.

Shame you felt you had to discourage the contact with your brothers ex wife. obviously not knowing any facts - but that was your choice. We are god parents to a little girl and have also taken to being god parents for her brother also, as his chosen god parents have now lost touch for reasons not known to us. could you not resume contact for your daughters sake?

Lorian

I know it's not the same thing as a god parent, but remember also to say in your will who you'd like to be the child's guardian if you were suddenly deceased. Good Idea to have mentioned it to the Guardian first!

full-time-mum

LittleVoice wrote: »

It seems you have rejected a godparent for your DD2 so the responsibility is even more with you on that one.

Would you want a godparent who set the example of walking out on a marriage after just 2 years without so much as a tincy wincy bit of a fight? One day they are talking about starting a family, the next day she won't even speak or discuss the fact that she wants out.

full-time-mum

lizzie12 wrote: »

Shame you felt you had to discourage the contact with your brothers ex wife. obviously not knowing any facts - but that was your choice. We are god parents to a little girl and have also taken to being god parents for her brother also, as his chosen god parents have now lost touch for reasons not known to us. could you not resume contact for your daughters sake?

It would just be too awkward to have kept contact and we weren't happy with the way she walked out. (see above post). There was just too much hurt.

I keep in contact (all be it at a distance) with my god-child even though her parents have split - I keep contact with the dad. It has been difficult as the mum didn't keep contact with me and my GC is currently living with her and not wanting much contact with her Dad.

full-time-mum

beautifulgorgeous wrote: »

Really the promises made in church for them as babies are less important than continued contact in their lives and bringing them to God when they are old enough.

I think this is where I'm coming from which is why I would like to ask someone else to step in.

WestieFan

Just to add my bit here, my children were baptised without any godparents. I have no close family to speak of, none on father's side and I didn't want to ask friends just for the sake of it. It seemed to me that too much was made of the actual ceremony without a lot of thought going into what happens next and if the worst actually happened would any of my friends, however close, really be willing and able to raise my children?

They were baptised privately (both at the same time), with only the minister and the lady who keeps the church records present (apart from us of course!). It was really lovely, and the minister presented me with some flowers afterwards. I have managed just fine without godparents. I did breathe a sigh of relief when the youngest reached 16 though!

Katyag

full-time-mum wrote: »

wondered what you thought about my god-parenting situation. (We seem to have been totally mis-guided in our choice).

Im exactly the same, DS has three godparents (a friend of DH's, a friend of mine and an uncle). Now my friend (who is his only godmother) when he got to 18 months just totally lost interest. Think the new baby novelty had worn off and despite her and i being friends for so many years so lost interest in me cause i wouldnt go drinking to excess with her so she hasnt see him properly in nearly 4 years!!!

Infuriates me to think i thought she was the perfect choice and really no other godmothers were considered.

Need to have a serious think with this baby.

full-time-mum

Katyag wrote: »

Need to have a serious think with this baby.

Congrtatulations and good luck with baby number 2.
Have to say that although we have our problems, 3 out of the 6 have been fantastic (although one of those tried to kill himself in a RTA last week - amazingly, he got out with just scratches and bruises) and have taken an interest in their lives (if not specifically the religious aspect)