I have been suspended

Fergie42

I_am_so_stupid wrote: »

I shouldn't have posted in the first place

I'm sorry but were you expecting sympathy?
As many people have said - what you did was very wrong and you continued to repeat the process.
I gather you know this but wanted some kind of reassurance that everything will be ok.
Well it won't and you will simply have to carry on the best you can and live with the consequences of your actions.

Tiddlywinks

I_am_so_stupid wrote: »

I didn't steal it, the customer consented to lending it to me, she only needs support a few hours a week as she is visually impaired. She has no mental issues and knew what she was doing, I know I shouldn't have done it but I was desperate and intended to pay her back the next pay day but like I said I then had to move house so unfortunately it got pushed to the back of my mind

Lack of mental capacity and the ability of clients to make their own decisions is not the only reason for certain rules about borrowing or accepting gifts...

If a person is in a position where they need assistance then they *may* agree to certain things for fear that the carer may withdraw services / be less 'helpful' / become intimidating or whatever.

They are vulnerable because they need help - and are relying on said help. That gives professional 'carers' the power in the relationship and THAT is why a professional distance is always necessary.

This post sums it up well:

kerrypn wrote: »

Some people you care for are often so grateful for your help, they would give you anything-that does not mgive you licence to take it! We are not allowed to accept any form of gift-even chocolates-for fear it is misinterpreted as financial abuse. It is company policy to refer to the manager.

OP - your actions can NEVER be excused.

WHY have you not paid the client back? If it had been a good reason (in your opinion) I'm sure you would have mentioned it in your first post.

All I can add is that I would be very unhappy if I or any family or friends were ever attended by someone with your history - you should never be allowed to work in this sector again.

kerrypn

Perhaps OP was hoping we would offer out a get-out-of-jail-free card so to speak.....and even if there was one I wouldn't be giving out.

How does the OP think the person he/she exploited feels? Humiliated, violated, cheated.....

robpw2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

WHY have you not paid the client back? If it had been a good reason (in your opinion) I'm sure you would have mentioned it in your first post.

All I can add is that I would be very unhappy if I or any family or friends

because she moved house ... from her op

Tiddlywinks

robpw2 wrote: »

because she moved house ... from her op

But she borrowed on more than one occasion so... on at least one occasion she failed to repay.

robpw2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

But she borrowed on more than one occasion so... on at least one occasion she failed to repay.

you don't need to tell me , i do not think thats a valid excuse in fact i have made it clear already there is no excuse the second time

but i was just saying this is what the op had come up with as an excuse for not paying back ...

marybelle01

kerrypn wrote: »

Perhaps OP was hoping we would offer out a get-out-of-jail-free card so to speak.....

I think this is the key point. The OP was hoping that people would sympathise and help her find excuses for (a) what she had done and (b) lying about it, which would then help her in somehow getting away with it so that it wouldn't appear as a dismissal on her employment record.

I appreciate that it is distressing to get dismissed for something, whether you did it or not, and whether you "deserve it" or not. I should perhaps point out, having had to carry out a few dismissals myself, that anyone who actually enjoys dismissing people even when justified or deserved, is missing a few human emotions, so it's no fun for the employers either.

But it ought to be common sense, even if it weren't policy, that borrowing money once from a client is not on, and borrowing more than once is stupidity - and failing to pay it back is dishonest. What astonishes me more than the OP's actions was that she never thought it would get reported to her employers.

sugartooth

kerrypn wrote: »

Perhaps OP was hoping we would offer out a get-out-of-jail-free card so to speak.....and even if there was one I wouldn't be giving out.

How does the OP think the person he/she exploited feels? Humiliated, violated, cheated.....

A bit much...? Even if OP can avoid enhanced CRB checks in the future, there's still that dismissed for gross misconduct on her record. Don't think the police will be involved providing OP pays the lady back and apologises sincerely.

Tiddlywinks

kerrypn wrote: »

Perhaps OP was hoping we would offer out a get-out-of-jail-free card so to speak.....and even if there was one I wouldn't be giving out.

How does the OP think the person he/she exploited feels? Humiliated, violated, cheated.....

sugartooth wrote: »

A bit much...? Even if OP can avoid enhanced CRB checks in the future, there's still that dismissed for gross misconduct on her record. Don't think the police will be involved providing OP pays the lady back and apologises sincerely.

Your highlighting, which I've just copied tp my reply. What's a 'bit much'?

I agree with Kerrypn, when someone relies on a 'carer', allows themselves to trust that person and then finds themselves to have been exploited or tricked then that is exactly how they might feel.

People that need assistance have to be able to trust those that provide the service - this client has now been left with the knowledge that someone in a postition of trust actually took advantage of the situation. How can she ever truly trust any of the other service providers again? Yet she will still have to because she relies on the service.

How is that a 'bit much'?

kerrypn

sugartooth wrote: »

A bit much...? Even if OP can avoid enhanced CRB checks in the future, there's still that dismissed for gross misconduct on her record. Don't think the police will be involved providing OP pays the lady back and apologises sincerely.

I am afraid that in this specific line of work, an apology and replayment will not suffice. This person WILL NEVER be able to work in a caring role again since all employers are required by law to apply for enhanced disclosure for these positions to stop, or lessen the chances of, exactly what OP has done from happening.

In fact the police investigating this is a very real possibility and take all instances of abuse extremely seriously.

I wonder if anyone would be arguing for the OP being treated more leniently if it was physical abuse? Sexual abuse? Abuse is abuse and has a long term psychological effect on the victim that cannot be simply erased by a smile, apology and a repayment.

I know of an instance of a POVA conviction for collecting Boots points on a service user's purchase(the carer bought an item for the service user, no money discrepancy but collected boots points on her own card for it).

My point is that this is now out of the hands of the employer really. Now they have been alerted to the potential abuse, they have a legal obligation to report that disclosure for a full investigation.

I stand by what I said about how the victim might feel. The amount of faith and blind trust a service user places on you when you are in the position to assist them to live their day to day life is incomparable to any other relationship you might come across. The power balance is so unequal, and the fact of the matter is that this has been exploited, whether maliciously or otherwise, and that is unacceptable.

Duty of Care. And if OP came back, I am 100% certain if they dug out their employment terms and conditions, this particular issue would be dealt with therein finitely and explicitly. There is no grey area.