Flying solo

Listerbelle

*Robin* wrote: »

Yesterday I had to take my own advice: If a task is not going well, do something else that requires attention - generally, by the time the 2nd task is done, the first job will have changed in some way and become easier to tackle.

And so it proved to be. PC's tax return was doing my head in, so I went back to the pile of envelopes and followed Listerbelle's advice:



Yup, the pile of 'waste' was twice the height of the stuff that needs dealing with, so now the envelopes are all in the recycling, the bank statements have been filed and I have two much smaller piles on my desk: "To do" and "Do these first!"

:beer::j Well done

*Robin*

Well, I managed to open a bank account for DH's funds - a savings account, why not? His money may as well earn a little interest while waiting for probate.
But I was in the bank for over two hours; the branch manager arrived to offer his condolences [how kind, I thought] then tried his hardest to push me into borrowing another £11,000! :eek: ..This would have "consolidated" all my card balances not on 0% deals, given me several thousand pounds 'to play with' and paid for DH's funeral. The guy kept going on about my overdraft too - except that my current account is not overdrawn at the moment, although admittedly it usually is.

The hard sell was pretty relentless; I could have piles of cash now, pay existing debt with the same bank, and the funeral bill.. Oh no, it wouldn't be possible to 'hold' the deal as I'd shown the guy my complete list of debts, but he could give me a four month payment holiday.. Look, [he said] the paperwork for this new seven year loan is already prepared - come on just sign here..
In the end I escaped by saying my dogs would be going ballistic because I'd left them for so long (a lie!). Even then, the manager gave me another appointment for today, saying ok I could have 48 hours to think about it.

No sooner had I got home than the 'phone was ringing. It was 'my personal manager' at another branch of the same bank, where I have my main account. She'd spotted whatever the first lot had put in my file and wanted to give me the same 'wonderful offer' - aargh! She wouldn't accept 'no thanks' either - but gave me 'til today to think about it.

Now I am heartily wishing I'd chosen a different bank to open DH's executor account in.

Then this morning all the waffle became immaterial as DH's pension provider has paid his death benefit into my current account - phew!

After all that, I can hardly wait to get back to DH's tax return - but I'd better write some cheques first, for the funeral and the smaller debts I've already gathered in.

*Robin*

Just popped back to say :T :T :T Thank you! :T :T :T to everyone who has been kind enough to read and comment on my journey - I really appreciate it, and promise that I'll be over to visit all your diaries, when I've got a bit more time = once the tax & probate forms are in the post.

*Robin*

Hello Diary,
Well, DH's tax and probate forms went into the post yesterday.

Now that's done I can see how much the task was upsetting me - a little voice in my head kept saying "he's not coming back, he's not coming back" - it's getting harder and harder to 'pretend' DH is just staying at his cottage at the moment - I need to come to terms with this.

The Deeds for our grave plot arrived. Which reminds me; I must update my Will. Though I suppose it would be sensible to wait until DH's estate is sorted out?

I am so glad I've got the daft dogs - don't know how I'd be getting on if they didn't give me an excuse to get out in the fresh air every day. It's time to do that now, I think..

Listerbelle

Nice to hear from you, and well done on all the activity.

I hope that you are outside having a lovely walk with daft dogs

ButterflyBee

Hello Robin. You are doing so well it is truly inspirational.

I must say I am shocked that your bank Manager was to heartless. TYPICAL! pity daft dogs weren't there to have the vulture for lunch. LOL!

Keep posting.

The_Dragon

Hmm, I wonder if you should complain to the banking ombudsman, a hard sell by a bank manager when someone is grieving should not be allowed. Well done you for not letting them take advantage.

chevalier

Hi Robin

First of all my condolence.

I am amazed at how hard they seem to make sorting these things out. You would have thought they would make it as simple as possible, to take account of how hard it is to do anything.

As for the bank manager, I would definitely complain about that. That behaviour is ABSOLUTELY APPALLING. There is a code of conduct which I am sure states not to offer credit to vulnerable people. Well that applies to people who have just lost their loved ones as far as I am concerned.

I would have told him to eff off personally AND told him I would be going elsewhere, but then I am a grumpy cow at the best of times....
chev

*Robin*

ButterflyBee wrote: »

Hello Robin. You are doing so well it is truly inspirational.

Thank you, but I can't agree; for example, I didn't find out about Bereavement Benefits until reading 3Dogs' diary - because the booklet "What to do when someone dies" was sooo depressing, I gave up after just a few pages.

ButterflyBee wrote: »

I must say I am shocked that your bank Manager was so heartless. TYPICAL!

Hmm, I think he was just toeing the company line. He actually seems like a very nice chap who thought he was helping me - while tying me into another seven years of hefty monthly repayments - which is the bit I really want to avoid now I'm so unsure what the future will hold.
I shut down my ailing business when DH needed care 22 hours a day, so apart from the Bereavement Benefits - that I haven't got the application forms for yet, so am not counting - I have no income (am not counting rent from the house either - nothing is signed yet, and if everything goes ok I'll still have to build up a fund for any repairs).

ButterflyBee wrote: »

pity daft dogs weren't there to have the vulture for lunch. LOL!

Ha! They're far too staid and well-behaved to do that - although they can look impressively scary if someone is aggressive towards me. But it's a thought; if I have to go into the branch again, maybe I'll take the daft dogs with me? The problem with that is, it takes so long to get anywhere in town as every child and half the adults we pass want to stroke the dogs, so I tend to avoid it when schools are on holiday.


Don't think I have much progress to report today. The papers on my 'deal with these first!' pile are [very] slowly moving to file/post, and I'm wondering who I can get to help me tidy up the house and garden. DS4 is so busy working at his three jobs, plus volunteering and sports, that he really wants to relax when he visits.

I had a discount voucher for Tosco, so used that just before it expired, and found some more gorgeous lilies reduced to half price which I decided were an acceptable treat (instead of chocolate ). The feast & fast diet isn't going so well though, as I also bought some cream cakes - told myself they were a treat for DS4 and his GF - then ate two even though it was a fast day - oops!

*Robin*

The_Dragon wrote: »

Hmm, I wonder if you should complain to the banking ombudsman, a hard sell by a bank manager when someone is grieving should not be allowed. Well done you for not letting them take advantage.

chevalier wrote:

I am amazed at how hard they seem to make sorting these things out. You would have thought they would make it as simple as possible, to take account of how hard it is to do anything.

As for the bank manager, I would definitely complain about that. That behaviour is ABSOLUTELY APPALLING. There is a code of conduct which I am sure states not to offer credit to vulnerable people. Well that applies to people who have just lost their loved ones as far as I am concerned.

I would have told him to eff off personally AND told him I would be going elsewhere, but then I am a grumpy cow at the best of times....

Hello Dragon and Chevalier, thank you for joining in.
It hadn't occurred to me that the bank manager and my personal manager from the other branch should not have been pressuring me so hard, but it's a very good point. In fact my personal manager 'phoned me again after DH's pension Death Benefit was paid into my account, still wanting me to take out another £11,000 loan. She seemed to find it hard to believe I could resist the four month payment holiday that was part of the deal, and went on about all the expenses I am facing now.

To be honest it's such a hassle getting into town I am not going to change banks for DH's Executor account now, but maybe I should register an objection to their attitude? It gives me a moral dilemma though, because I still haven't got round to reclaiming PPI from that bank - it never would have paid out as I was self-employed - so maybe it should be my priority? (I have a bit of a block about that - could be a bum-kicking moment? ).
But I can see that many other people in my position would have signed right then or let the other manager arrange it over the 'phone, which could be a disaster for them later. Hmm. What's more important; to sort out my own business or act for the good of all the bank's customers?

Ok I know the answer. <sigh> The trouble is I am so slow getting round to everything that isn't really urgent - when I push too hard, I tend to fall over (have had ME for years - am still working my way back up after going so long without sleep while looking after DH in his last days).