Possible new job - Wedding and honeymoon in 11 weeks?

claire16c

I wouldnt worry. If they really want you, then having a normal holiday in 3 months time wont affect them hiring you.

StarCrossed

Thanks everybody. I digest myself so wound up over these things!

getmore4less

can't beleive people are saying tell at interview about holiday plans.

crazy thing to do in most cases it will put you down the list.

The only time you might if it is clear that there will be specific need to attend like a conference,training, project.

Get the job offer then discuss the start dates and any plans. training, holidays project schedules etc.

If there is something that you must do and are prepareed to not take the job if you can't, make it condition of acceptance that this will happen.

Just getting holidays agreed is not enough the employer can withdraw holidays and it has been known for this to happen after agreeing at job offer stage.

if the employer is not happy with a break so soon discuss a later start.

jobbingmusician

By the way, when negotiating with your employer, say it is an important, once in a lifetime, family holiday. I wouldn't mention your wedding IIWY. Yes, it is illegal to sack people for being female/pregnant etc. But if I am hiring a woman it always worries me if they are recently married - I do wonder how long they will stay. It doesn't affect what I do as an employer. All employers are not as good as I am!

duchy

jobbingmusician wrote: »

By the way, when negotiating with your employer, say it is an important, once in a lifetime, family holiday. I wouldn't mention your wedding IIWY. Yes, it is illegal to sack people for being female/pregnant etc. But if I am hiring a woman it always worries me if they are recently married - I do wonder how long they will stay. It doesn't affect what I do as an employer. All employers are not as good as I am!

What a sweet old fashioned attitude.
Generally speaking most people who get married BEFORE they have kids are more likely to wait to have kids once they are financially secure so less likely to get pregnant straight after a wedding (especially if they are still paying it off). Of course some people don't bother with a wedding first -so that blows your reasoning even further out of the water.

Frankly your attitude stinks in this day and age and to say it worries you but it doesn't impact on your employment practices is unlikely to be true and even if it's subconscious you'd be more likely to promote a man or a woman less likely to get pregnant above a youngish woman. Slightly ridiculous considering that many women want to continue working after having children -and are on the lookout for employers whose attitudes don't reside in the dark ages. Perhaps your retention rate of staff would be better if you didn't assume all women will leave after having children.

I think if the OP wasn't asked about already planned holidays at the interview she was right not to bring it up-The time to do so is when/if the job offer is made and before accepting and handing in her notice at her current job. I see no reason to not say it's her wedding /honeymoon -most employers prefer employees with stable home lives anyway as stability at home means there is less to impact on their working practices....plus if she comes back from "holiday" with a new name they may think it's very odd that she concealed something like that from them and think she's odd and secretive.

ktothema

I know I have been asked in interviews whether I had holiday plans, but these were rare and I was mainly asked this question at the offer stage. I suppose it makes sense not to ask everyone you interview - too much irrelevant info.

Btw, on the points above: I got married 10 years ago and had my first child 18 months ago. In my case because I couldn't afford a child straight after a wedding and a house purchase, then my marriage failed and I've gone through it all again with a new partner whom I've not yet married. Marriage and kids aren't necessarily linked. I've actually been at 3 different companies since my marriage - all staying a good 3 years or so before moving for career furthering reasons.

jobbingmusician

duchy wrote: »

Frankly your attitude stinks in this day and age and to say it worries you but it doesn't impact on your employment practices is unlikely to be true and even if it's subconscious you'd be more likely to promote a man or a woman less likely to get pregnant above a youngish woman.

So I'm a liar? Charming. For the record, I appointed a pregnant woman to a temporary post because she was the best candidate for the job, even thought it was an expensive adherence to principles!

StarCrossed

Erm, that was all a bit unpleasant above but I have news...

Got the job!!! and I told my recruiter when they were checking my references and she told me "not to be silly! Nobody will deny you that!"

Handing in my notice today. Woohoo!

ktothema

Congrats - great news! I'd suggest you get someone to confirm this in writing to you just in case but you have given them 10 (?) weeks notice now so it's plenty of time. Good luck with the new job :T