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Voluntary child maintenance

LJ1
Posts: 72 Forumite


situation .......I live in Scotland have a minute of agreement detailing voluntary child support from ex.....
His situation has not changed - he could still afford to pay what he offered to pay when the agreement was put in place......
The amount he offered is bit more than the CSA would have calculated his income is a lot higher than mine when divorce going through he wanted to do this
I suppose it looked good on paper to pull the wool over my eyes to rush the divorce through - also sounded good to people when he was telling them im paying xxx so child does not loose out.....he remarried 8 weeks after divorce papers signed - so the offer on the table had to look good.
However am I right in saying he only needs to keep to this agreement for 12 months...he can then approach the CSA in the knowledge they will calculate a lesser amount - even although his situation has not changed and he can still very comfortably afford to pay what is in the minute of agreement......
Im just waiting on the CSA letter dropping through the door......and feel like I have been well and truly conned .......
Trying to remind my self what was the point of all those lawyers visits - costs - time and energy spent coming to this agreement if 12 months later not worth the paper it is priinted on.......I could understand a change being necessary if either party had a change in circumstances - but to just have the option to do this once the 12 months is up - just does not seem fair....
Why is the law never on the side of the people who need it the most.......
I really want to avoid going down the road of CSA......as have heard so many nightmare stories.........
So I feel I might just have another battle on my hands trying to resort out another voluntary arrangement......
At the moment i pay/provide everything from the money he gives.......he really does not need to buy anything - if he does it is his choice to do........
I just feel if the money is to be reduced then he will need to take on board some additional expenses.......
Does anyone out there have any voluntary arrangement ideas that work for them......
IE......how did you approach the situaion
how did you decide who pays what
I support myself with not a lot of income.....I dont use the money my ex gives for my own pesonal use....it goes 100% on the child....I skip meals and buy only basic clothes for myself when needed so we can live each month without being in debt....I stuck my neck on the line to get a mortgage on a run down ex council estate rather than going own the road of being homless in order to get council house......ex does not like where we live wants child to live with him in his 300k detatched house in lovely area.......so this latest blow feels like another nail in the coffin.......
Seperation - Divorce - new families - is hard enough for a child to cope with.....thought we had worked through all of this and were starting to get on the right track - then this happened - so hard to accept when you know there is no change in circumstances and doing it just because they can get away with it.......and the only person who suffers most is the child....
His situation has not changed - he could still afford to pay what he offered to pay when the agreement was put in place......
The amount he offered is bit more than the CSA would have calculated his income is a lot higher than mine when divorce going through he wanted to do this
I suppose it looked good on paper to pull the wool over my eyes to rush the divorce through - also sounded good to people when he was telling them im paying xxx so child does not loose out.....he remarried 8 weeks after divorce papers signed - so the offer on the table had to look good.
However am I right in saying he only needs to keep to this agreement for 12 months...he can then approach the CSA in the knowledge they will calculate a lesser amount - even although his situation has not changed and he can still very comfortably afford to pay what is in the minute of agreement......
Im just waiting on the CSA letter dropping through the door......and feel like I have been well and truly conned .......
Trying to remind my self what was the point of all those lawyers visits - costs - time and energy spent coming to this agreement if 12 months later not worth the paper it is priinted on.......I could understand a change being necessary if either party had a change in circumstances - but to just have the option to do this once the 12 months is up - just does not seem fair....
Why is the law never on the side of the people who need it the most.......
I really want to avoid going down the road of CSA......as have heard so many nightmare stories.........
So I feel I might just have another battle on my hands trying to resort out another voluntary arrangement......
At the moment i pay/provide everything from the money he gives.......he really does not need to buy anything - if he does it is his choice to do........
I just feel if the money is to be reduced then he will need to take on board some additional expenses.......
Does anyone out there have any voluntary arrangement ideas that work for them......
IE......how did you approach the situaion
how did you decide who pays what
I support myself with not a lot of income.....I dont use the money my ex gives for my own pesonal use....it goes 100% on the child....I skip meals and buy only basic clothes for myself when needed so we can live each month without being in debt....I stuck my neck on the line to get a mortgage on a run down ex council estate rather than going own the road of being homless in order to get council house......ex does not like where we live wants child to live with him in his 300k detatched house in lovely area.......so this latest blow feels like another nail in the coffin.......
Seperation - Divorce - new families - is hard enough for a child to cope with.....thought we had worked through all of this and were starting to get on the right track - then this happened - so hard to accept when you know there is no change in circumstances and doing it just because they can get away with it.......and the only person who suffers most is the child....
0
Comments
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situation .......I live in Scotland have a minute of agreement detailing voluntary child support from ex.....
His situation has not changed - he could still afford to pay what he offered to pay when the agreement was put in place......
The amount he offered is bit more than the CSA would have calculated his income is a lot higher than mine when divorce going through he wanted to do this
I suppose it looked good on paper to pull the wool over my eyes to rush the divorce through - also sounded good to people when he was telling them im paying xxx so child does not loose out.....he remarried 8 weeks after divorce papers signed - so the offer on the table had to look good.
However am I right in saying he only needs to keep to this agreement for 12 months...he can then approach the CSA in the knowledge they will calculate a lesser amount - even although his situation has not changed and he can still very comfortably afford to pay what is in the minute of agreement......
Im just waiting on the CSA letter dropping through the door......and feel like I have been well and truly conned .......
Trying to remind my self what was the point of all those lawyers visits - costs - time and energy spent coming to this agreement if 12 months later not worth the paper it is priinted on.......I could understand a change being necessary if either party had a change in circumstances - but to just have the option to do this once the 12 months is up - just does not seem fair....
Why is the law never on the side of the people who need it the most.......
I really want to avoid going down the road of CSA......as have heard so many nightmare stories.........
So I feel I might just have another battle on my hands trying to resort out another voluntary arrangement......
At the moment i pay/provide everything from the money he gives.......he really does not need to buy anything - if he does it is his choice to do........
I just feel if the money is to be reduced then he will need to take on board some additional expenses.......
Does anyone out there have any voluntary arrangement ideas that work for them......
IE......how did you approach the situaion
how did you decide who pays what
I support myself with not a lot of income.....I dont use the money my ex gives for my own pesonal use....it goes 100% on the child....I skip meals and buy only basic clothes for myself when needed so we can live each month without being in debt....I stuck my neck on the line to get a mortgage on a run down ex council estate rather than going own the road of being homless in order to get council house......ex does not like where we live wants child to live with him in his 300k detatched house in lovely area.......so this latest blow feels like another nail in the coffin.......
Seperation - Divorce - new families - is hard enough for a child to cope with.....thought we had worked through all of this and were starting to get on the right track - then this happened - so hard to accept when you know there is no change in circumstances and doing it just because they can get away with it.......and the only person who suffers most is the child....
Is maintenance not additional money on top of what you would receive anyway? Surely CTC and CB is for the purposes of the child, so would you not actually have more money than someone not in receipt of maintenance?0
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