Money After Divorce?

rpc

If the court order was for a clean break, there is nothing that can be done. It sounds like a bum deal, but if it was agreed then it was agreed.

So your mum owns the house, but your stepdad lives there rent free?

If the mortgage was in lieu of maintenance, he should either start paying maintenance of the same amount or a market rent (on top of the mortgage).

It sounds rather like he has his cake and is eating it. Who owns the house according the the LR? Was ownership transferred at the time of the divorce? What was agreed with ownership of the house?

Selling the house sounds like a good plan to me, but with unclear ownership and stepdad sponging free lodgings off mum [1] that is easier said than done.

[1] It sounds to me like dad was meant to pay mortgage + roof over his own head. He is now only paying one, so he is getting off rather lightly.

NewKittenHelp

GemBlueTopaz1984 wrote: »

My mother lived in the house with my sisters and niece, she moved in with me in april and he moved in with his wife, the court classed paying the mortgage as his support for my youngest sister and her maintanence, but she could afford to pay all the other bills and food for them all so ontop of the divorce debt she started building up other debt just trying to keep ontop of all the payments and pay the bills, it got to a point in february that she confessed to me she was about to miss alot of payments for the debt so I did what I could and in april she moved in with me, part of it was the money but also she wasn't getting along with my youngest sister who has a terrible attitude not helped by the fact that what ever rules my mother told her she had to abide by to live under her roof, her dad would say well he was paying for the roof and that she didn't have to do some of the things my mother told her to do. I.e youngest sister started working full time, mum asked for £80/ month keep, her dad said she didn't have to pay anything cos he paid the mortgage, not considering the fact her and all her mates eat her out of house and home, turn the pool heating on and leave it on for days costing a fortune, never turn lights off, my mum ended up £800 in debt with gas and electric, she just couldn't do it anymore.

So your mother, who has a tiny income, fought to stay in a house (with a pool!) that she couldn't afford to run? Why? I can see a lot of anger and bitterness towards your step-father but nothing towards your mother for her stupid decisions. You should remember that your step-father is now supporting your sisters and your niece and has been for quite some time, from what I can see.

You should also remember that if your sister started full-time work, that your step-father will probably not have been required to pay maintenance anymore and so your mother would have lost the house anyway.

NewKittenHelp

rpc wrote: »

If the court order was for a clean break, there is nothing that can be done. It sounds like a bum deal, but if it was agreed then it was agreed.

So your mum owns the house, but your stepdad lives there rent free?

If the mortgage was in lieu of maintenance, he should either start paying maintenance of the same amount or a market rent (on top of the mortgage).

It sounds rather like he has his cake and is eating it. Who owns the house according the the LR? Was ownership transferred at the time of the divorce? What was agreed with ownership of the house?

Selling the house sounds like a good plan to me, but with unclear ownership and stepdad sponging free lodgings off mum [1] that is easier said than done.

[1] It sounds to me like dad was meant to pay mortgage + roof over his own head. He is now only paying one, so he is getting off rather lightly.

The step-father was paying the mortgage on the house, so how was he sponging from the mother?

He also is supporting the couple's children and grandchild so if anyone is paying maintenance it should be the mother.

GemBlueTopaz1984

rpc wrote: »

If the court order was for a clean break, there is nothing that can be done. It sounds like a bum deal, but if it was agreed then it was agreed.

So your mum owns the house, but your stepdad lives there rent free?

If the mortgage was in lieu of maintenance, he should either start paying maintenance of the same amount or a market rent (on top of the mortgage).

It sounds rather like he has his cake and is eating it. Who owns the house according the the LR? Was ownership transferred at the time of the divorce? What was agreed with ownership of the house?

Selling the house sounds like a good plan to me, but with unclear ownership and stepdad sponging free lodgings off mum [1] that is easier said than done.

[1] It sounds to me like dad was meant to pay mortgage + roof over his own head. He is now only paying one, so he is getting off rather lightly.

Hi Thanks for the reply, I will ask to see the paper work to see if there was a clean break order, to clarify the details are.

Mum and stepdad together 25 years, 2 kids together 23 and 17 now. Jan 2010 stepdad leaves mum for another women, mum remained in family home (mortgage and deeds in both names) with 2 daughters and grandaughter, stepdad originally paid mortgage council tax and water rates until jan 2011 when divorce was agreed.

Divorce said that money from sale of house (was put up for sale when he first left) was to go to mother, stepdad was to continue paying mortgage instead of paying child maintanence and maintance to mother, mainantence to mother was agreed on a sliding scale for 3 years, maintanence for daughter to be paid for 5 years.

Mother was to take on the council tax and water rates as well as the rest of the house hold bills ( obviously at the time this was agreed my mum was hoping the house would sell quickly).

April 2012 mother moves out of the family home and in with me as she can no longer afford the bills, step dad moves back in with new wife, the 2 daughters and grandaughter also still live there.

Hope this clears thing up. It seems the key is whether there was a clean break order which I will look into. Thanks for the help guys, I really want to help my mum, I honestly feel she has been hard done by. Its not like she can approach him about it as he has refused to speak to her since he left and does everything through his mother or through their kids, mum thinks its childish and stupid and is more than happy to be civil with him even though it was him that left her for another women but he doesn't take her calls so she just gave up trying, this year he changed the mortgage from repayment to interest only without her consent ( bank sent a letter to the house back when mum was living there saying he had changed it, so she rang them and they said they had spoken to her on the phone with stepdad and she had agreed so obviously he got new wife to pretend to be mum. He changed estate agents without informing her and estate agents thought new wife was co owner until my mum corrected them and asked for every thing to go through her.

It does feel like he ripped my mums life apart left her with nothing and is skipping off into the sunset with the new wife while my mum struggles everyday to make ends meet, can't afford much for birthdays and christmas, and stepdad is "best dad in the world" cos he is buying the youngest a new car. she really tries to just get on with it but I can tell it bothers her. I have gained so much respect for my mother in the last couple of years with how well she has coped.

Sorry went a bit off topic and I got a bit misty eyed thinking about how much my mum has had to cope with, I know I couldn't have done it with the same dinity and strength.

andy.m_2

would the OP be asking for help if the house price rocketed another 50% and sold the day after?
Would they offer up half the increase of the sale price over the settlement?

Sadly, thems the breaks

NewKittenHelp

So she has three years of maintenance payments for her instead of the mortgage payments now? And she would have had five years of child maintenance had she not essentially given up custody of the youngest?

That's quite a different picture to the one you originally painted of your mother getting nothing but the house equity.

NewKittenHelp

andy.m wrote: »

would the OP be asking for help if the house price rocketed another 50% and sold the day after?
Would they offer up half the increase of the sale price over the settlement?

Sadly, thems the breaks

Likewise will the mother now be paying five year's worth of maintenance to the father? If she believes that the parent with custody was entitled to this money then she should be.

GemBlueTopaz1984

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

So she has three years of maintenance payments for her instead of the mortgage payments now? And she would have had five years of child maintenance had she not essentially given up custody of the youngest?

That's quite a different picture to the one you originally painted of your mother getting nothing but the house equity.

sorry I didn't intent to mislead anyone, I hadn't really thought about the fact that when the house sells if my sister decides she wants to live with mum she will receive money, my mum never had anything in cash from step dad since he left, he paid the mortgage instead as the court instructed until it sells, obviously at the moment my mother isn't living in the house, and right now I know my mum would rather live with my sisters and niece in a home of her own rather than my spare room but she can't afford to.

NewKittenHelp

GemBlueTopaz1984 wrote: »

sorry I didn't intent to mislead anyone, I hadn't really thought about the fact that when the house sells if my sister decides she wants to live with mum she will receive money, my mum never had anything in cash from step dad since he left, he paid the mortgage instead as the court instructed until it sells, obviously at the moment my mother isn't living in the house, and right now I know my mum would rather live with my sisters and niece in a home of her own rather than my spare room but she can't afford to.

Look at it this way - your mother has an asset that is costing her nothing. It's being maintained and paid for and eventually it will sell. While you mother hasn't received cash direct into her bank account, she has received substantial money. As another poster pointed out - it's unlikely that your mother would be complaining had the house risen in value, but that's the risk she took.

Your mother should thank her lucky stars that she isn't being pursued for maintenance for her child and for money towards the mortgage in lieu of the maintenance agreement made in court.

GemBlueTopaz1984

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

Likewise will the mother now be paying five year's worth of maintenance to the father? If she believes that the parent with custody was entitled to this money then she should be.

To be honest my original question wasn't whether or not people think my mothers divorce settlement was fair but I think I have accidently sidetracked it by mentioning other things, it was whether or not she is legally allowed to ask for half the shares they had that were worthless at the time of divorce so weren't considered part of the settlement that are now about to be sold for around 15K and if she is how she goes about sorting it out and I have had some good answers to that question and have something to be going on with.