MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Darth take money from his kids accounts?

msmicawber

I agree with the poster who suggested Darth should ask the children if he can borrow their savings. If they say yes, and he pays it back with the interest they will have lost, then I'd view that as a family pulling togther in hard times.

azjh77

He's called 'Widower Darth' so the wife has just died, perhaps he's had to give up work...


I just couldn't see the kids go without food/heating/ possibly lose their home, all for the sake of some money being saved so they can buy a car in 11 years time (or whatever they are saving for) You are not stealing the money if it is for their benefit....

I had a friend who's ex-boyfriend insisted she show him what she had spent the maintanance money on that he gave for their son. She had to spend it on clothes or toys or sweets - whether the boy needed them on not - and not 'selfish things for herself' like the gas bill, or the phone bill!

If Darth was going to blow it all on crap, then No, but this is survival. We have often had to 'borrow' the kids b'day money, just to buy food. They are not writing a list and adding compound interest either...

I have had money 'borrowed' by my Dad .. never saw it again..guess what I got over it. On the over hand I have had MANY an interest free loan from my Mum, when Darth is in a better position to help the kids he will, but for now, he needs that cash (all this goes without saying that he has visited the DFW board and sorted himself out with a longterm plan)

anntics

sinbinjack wrote: »

I would like to say to all you naysayers ,the money I have is family money and I give it to my family,if my family cant give me the same support ,whatever their age ,then what use is "THE FAMILY"

I couldn't agree more. All our money has always gone into a family pot regardless of how we came by it, and comes out of it again when needed.

The only savings my children (now grown-up and left home) had were what other people gave them, or what they earned themselves. Instead of savings we paid into endowment policies for them that paid out when they were 18. When times were hard we cut back on non-essentials, including sweets. If our children wanted these and we could not afford them at that particular time, they had to earn the money themselves, use their savings, or use the pocket money given by relatives.

One of the principles of money-saving, unless I am mistaken, is not to try and save until debts are paid. If the debts are genuinely as a result of the sudden change in the family's circumstances then I would include all money belonging to the family, including the children. If this family is like mine and many others, the children will get plenty of financial help over the years to the full extent that the parents can afford.

Any money we give to our grandchildren (that is to be saved and not for a particular purpose), goes straight into their child trust funds, so this situation cannot even arise for them.

janbanan

Of course it's ok as long as the money and interest is back as soon as possible and before the kids will need it.

I certainly would not have a problem if my parents had borrowed money from me if it keep them out of trouble. I would be disappointed if they didn't!

janinelal

I think it is fine if you was really desparate and you make sure you put the money back with interest.

What would you do if you had no money for food and access to no other money?

Of course i only think this would be acceptable if it was a real emergancy and there was no other solution.

I once was in a position when i was a single mother when i had ran out of electricity (i was on a prepay meter). It was a tuesday and i had no money until friday. My son had £10 that i had gave him a couple of weeks earlier and he had not got round to spending yet. I asked my son if i could borrow the £10 and that i would give him £20 back on the Friday. Of course he was more than happy.

Saucepot

If I was Darth's brother and I'd put a few quid into my nephew and nieces accounts with a view that the kids would have a bob or two for university/car/house deposit I'd be annoyed that my brother had plundered his kids accounts.

The OP questions states the origin of the money isn't all from mum and dad but other relatives that gave for the kids future, not to bail out the financial recklessness of dozy Darth.

I'd expect Darth to come a talk through his problems with me or other relatives, before stealing from his kids.

kymi

Of course he should borrow it, but only as a temporary measure. As long as he pays it back (with interest), where's the problem. it wasn't going anywhere.

that 2k may be all he needs as a breathing space

Kymi

jungleduckling

I borrow from my kids when i need to... they get a generous interest when i repay them... Darth go for it and pay them for their inconvenience.

Arcoiris

charlotte664 wrote: »

Depends on the level of debt. If they could clear off what they owe and be bobbing along on the £2k, then yes, take it immediately. Darth can start to replace it when things are looking up.

If, however, the £2k from the accounts won't even touch the sides of the debt, then its not worth it.

After all, money is not everything. I would be horrified if I thought my parents lost our family home whist I was a child and then at 18 get a lump sum that could have helped.

Totally agree. However, I would explain first to the children, in words they can understand, the need for this action. I would repay it ASAP PLUS the interests they would be getting in their savings account. This way they can feel they contributed to the improvement of the home finances. Something they can feel proud of. The golden rule is NEVER CHEAT ON THEM

JayW

If you have to get the children to sign anything to let you take their money out, explain why! I did this when my children were 7 and 9, so that I could buy shares for them in the various privatisation issues that were going on in the late 80s and early 90s. I didn't use the money for myself, and they both ended up with enough for deposits on houses when they wanted to leave home, but they asked me for years 'What were those things you got us to sign?'.