MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Darth take money from his kids accounts?

General_Mayhem

Absoltely not!:mad:

My girlfriend's mother did this to her as a child. She is really poor at managing money, and my girlfriend never saw a penny back. In the end it simply was lost in the mess...

Freddie_the_frugal

MSE_Martin wrote: »

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

Should Darth take money from his kids' accounts?

Widower Darth is having a dark time, he's badly in debt and really struggling to keep the family's head above water. Both his seven year old twins, Luke and Leia, have savings accounts with around £1,000 in each; their money is from a mix of Darth's gifts and that of other relatives. He could really use the cash right now; should he take the cash from the kids' accounts?

Enter the Money Moral Maze: Should Darth take money from his kids' accounts?

Previous MMDs: Would you lend to a friend in need? and Would you take the job?

This is how it works for me;

Kids have money earning poor rates of interest, if I borrow from Grasp Bank PLC I pay 2 3 4 5 6 % more than the kids get in interest. Simple no brainer this one , borrow the money and set up a direct debit to pay back the money plus 1 2 3 4 % more than the kids are getting in interest. Family bank. If the children are old enough to understand explain the transaction to them so its upfront. Everyone benefits, plus if you are on benefits it reduces your liabilities as the children's money is assessed if its not in trust. They treat it as your money.

ConstantineXI

Change the scenario a touch. Suppose Darth has access (by whatever means) to a friend's account with £1000 in it. Is he justified in raiding it to clear his debt? Of course not. It's theft, pure & simple, because the money belongs, legally and ethically, to someone else. Excactly the same argument applies in the actual scenario. The money in the accounts belongs to the children. The fact that some of it was a gift from Darth is neither here nor there. Taking the money is therefore theft. The only ethical approach is for Darth to explain, without pressure and completely objectively the family situation to the children and ask them to agree to use the money to clear the debt. The problem is; how does an adult put this to young children without emotionally blackmailing them?

Motor_Mouth

I slipped into Darth's shoes last summer and 'nicked' £7k of my children's 'savings' (most of which I'd saved for them over the past few years). Yes, I felt a heel closing their Nationwide Smart to Save accounts BUT I vowed to replace all of it with 6 months. They've got their savings repaid with interest now. If needs must, just do it. Life's short.

sedgi

I cant believe how many immoral ppl there are on here!

A 7 year old is in no position to become a money lender, and if something's not yours you cant just take it

JayD

A parent has to do their bst to keep a roof over their children's head and keep them clothed, fed. It would seem stupid to let your children suffer while they had savings which could prevent it. He should use the money and do his utmost to repay it as soon as he can. The savings are for the children's wellbeing - and that is what he would be using them for.

System

Absolutely not. It's not his money, he's an adult, it's up to him to sort out his own mess without relying on his kids to help. I'm on a low income myself, both my kids have money salted away that's come from various sources - my daughter offered to help me out but I preferred to get a second job, sell the car, etc etc. What sort of example are you giving kids if you can't control your own finances? Sorry, bit of a rant there - feel quite strongly about the debt-ridden society our kids are inheriting :-(

Aldahbra

I have borrowed money from my children. It put food on the table when we needed it. The money is now back in their account, and I later bought them toys as a "thank you", even though they didn't know I'd borrowed it

Woodyrocks

I wrote a reply that got eaten up by web gremlins so I am going to have to be consice instead. Being a parent is not just about the hard choices we have to make, its about maintaining a level of normality in our childrens lives. If he is experiencing a blip, he should borrow as needed. What would you rather he did, de-stabilise his children by risking their home for the sake of a financial reprieve?

When he is back on his feet, he will not only repay the amount back but resume adding to their savings, as it is stated he used to before his present predicament.

mademoiselle_2

I am staggered by how many people have admitted to stealing their children's savings! Let me speak as one who remembers having this happen to me, as a child. My trust in adults never returned.

You can dress it up any way you like - it ISN'T your money. Fact. And saying that you have taken it, and returned it, without even telling your child, is worse! It's like shoplifting and getting away with it; you will do it once - with regret; do it again - with less regret; and then the time will come when you don't manage to repay it. And suddenly there you are, a thief to your child's money. How will you explain that?

Despicable.