Days go by

hannahroberts1985

Hey again :wave:

Glad to see you making progress :j Did you manage to get a hold of the vitamins?

I'd kill for a 9-5 job. Mine I work shifts usually 8am-5am 5.15am-2.30pm, 5.15am-2.30pm, 9pm-6am, 5pm-1am, 12-7pm I do enjoy my job and have sorted out a sleeping pattern sometimes I think i'm lucky to work shifts but the sometimes it gets to me a bit.

Did you manage to go out for a walk? This is something I need to do more.

Hope your having a good day x

mechanical_angel

Okay so Sunday fell apart after I failed at the latest craft thing my mum asked me to pull off (my mum thinks I can do anything, which is sweet but means she's constantly saying you let me down) so disapointed mum, and I hate having to admit failure, turns me into a cranky five year old, so probably just as well i didn't post anything Sunday as it would have been one massive strop.

And Monday was a complete write off because work left me totally shattered. Twice as much work came in as normal and we had half the people, ended up fleeing with twenty open files left in my desk.

However today was much better. Work went much more smoothly, impossible heap of files worked down to a more normal six. And I managed some of my six steps that were left over from Sunday.

My bedroom still isn't quite tidy, but I can walk around it without having to clamber over stuff, so that's an improvement. (I can actually see floor!) And I still haven't done the hoovering but I have clean socks which is a step up on the civilized human being scale.

Also spent some time considering my finances. I owe £782.69 (just looked it up) on my credit card. I can pay most of this off when I shuffle my pots around at the end of the month, but the amount I can't shift is increasing slightly each month which is not a good sign.

My main debt though is a £20k family loan which went towards the deposit on my flat. I am extremely lucky my mum and dad were able to help me as it ment I could get a mortgage as otherwise my income multiple wouldn't have worked. I am paying this back at an agreed £150 a month. I absolutely cannot fail to pay this back.

I have been treating the extra £150 as part of my mortgage but it hangs over my head in a way my mortgage doesn't. It would be such a relief to be shot of it. At the moment I still owe £14,900. This seems an impossibly huge amount of money so I've decided if I want my debt free day to be five years time, I'll have paid £9,000 worth of monthly £150, which leaves me £5,900 to find to be rid of the debt. This seems much more manageable.

So my debts are £782.69 and £5,900. That doesn't sound so bad.

Six positive steps

Finish tidying bedroom

Actally do the hoovering instead of just thinking about it

Dig up the login details for my extremely puny savings account, I maybe have a £100 in there.

Shuffle as much money as possible onto the credit card so I can see what I actually owe

Cancel lovefilm subscription

Finish work I owe my friend

pogg, thank you for your kind thoughts, i think small steps are key, I just want to do it all now which never works. I hope your debt free journey is going well.

Hannah, ooh those shifts sound vicious. I worked a nightshift once 10pm - 6am. It was always a bit weird walking back home as the sun rose. I'm not sure I could reliably get to work on mixed shifts with my start time changing every week. I get into a pattern and my body automatically takes me to work regardless of what my mind is doing at the time.

chevalier

Good morning.

Well done on taking some steps to move you where you WANT to go rather than just drifting. Sometimes this is the hardest thing, making a course rather than just drifting along the river of life.

I like the idea of baby steps too. At one point I had these big grandiose plans, and then was really upset when I didn't get x y and z done. Now I break the jobs down, so that I get a lift from achieving a little bit.

Sorry to hear about upsetting your mum. Maybe one of your tasks for this week, is to explain to your mum your limits with regards to craftiness, and also how you can't just 'knock something up in 5 minutes' you need a reasonable lead time.

I like the idea of chunking your debt, ie that only 5,900 is extra to what you would be paying, so you 'just' need to find that:rotfl:.

Whilst you know how your brother reacted to depression, we don't all manifest it the same way.

I would suggest a trip to the doctors to rule this out, but also things like under active thyroid, and narcolepsy as well. When I was struggling with post natal depression, I decided to try St John's Wort. I figured if I felt less miserable after a couple of weeks, then I probably was depressed and should go to the drs.

In all the tidying you are doing, have you found some things you can ebay, or sell on gum tree to make some money?

Good luck with your journey
chev

moo2moo

You mean its not normal to eat cereals throughout the day? You'll be suggesting I eat fresh fruit and veg next rather than cereal with dried lumps of something purported to be fruit. Theres a lot to be said for remembering to eat something at mealtimes rather than getting to 11pm and realising you haven't eaten since opening your eyes far earlier in the day.

As for the rest of it. Doing something you can't be arsed to do it is way better than not doing it. Even if its only a small something. One of those a day is 365 things you wouldn't otherwise have done in a year. It all adds up. And once you've done one something you're spurred on to do two or even three somethings and before you know it you're pairing socks and putting them in drawers rather than rummaging around in the tumble drier in the hopes that you've remembered to wash some. The alternative is to buy lots and lots of socks which, whilst not MSE, does guarantee that you've got clean socks every day even if you only get round to sorting laundry once a month.

mechanical_angel

So not an entirely successful day today. I tried to cancel lovefilm but the women on the other end of the phone had such an impenetrable accent I ended up suspending for three months in sheer self-defense. Must make a note to keep this going.

One a more positive note, I raided my lost savings account, last years cash isa which was my emergency fund (£192.32, I was obviously planning on a very small emergency) and shuffled money around and I think I can cover the dreaded credit card.:j

(It would be easier to tell but this month's direct debit of £25 into my current cash isa, although showing in the isa, is not showing as deducted from my bank account so I'm not certain what my actual balance is. I can't even begin to guess why, I think my bank's just messing with me now.)

My bedroom is much tidier but that just means I can see all the things that need doing, but I will stay positive and stick to a few small steps and keep going forward in a suistainable way. <shot of me looking determindedly into the middle distance while stirring music plays>

Hoovering has again been missed. If I can procastinate past about eight o'clockish I then can't do it because my downstairs neighbour will complain. However I have turned up the cat hair removal brush for sofas, which means a, I don't have to buy a replacement, very mse, and b, can clean up the sofas which is very good.

Cats decided to help out with the cleaning by clawing up the tangle of long hair down the shower plughole and leaving it sprawled across the floor looking very dead. Once I'd reassured myself it was not actually a messily dead something, I was appropriately grateful.

Tomorrow's positive steps, reduced to three as they really must be done

Hoovering (it's really not that hard)
Wrap up work for friend
Check to see if bank account has sorted itself out

Chev - Thank you, I think a planned direction is crucial for getting anywhere, for me anyway. I don't really have any goals at the moment which is a bit sad really. Getting rid of the loan is the first thing I've actively wanted since I got my cats. There must be something positive I want.

With doctors, sorry, but I have absolutely no faith in them as far as mental health goes since they were about as much use as a lead parachute with my brother.

Excavating my bedroom, I actually uncovered a box of stuff I had set aside to ebay. Must actually ebay them this time around. Just need to get the flat a bit straighter first. So many things to do. You are quite right, must remind myself to stick to baby steps or I'll get overwhelemed and sink again which will be no help at all.

moo2moo, of course you should eat breakfast cereal for every meal, it's healthy and full of vitamins, it says so on the packet. When I was at university I put intensive work into proving a human being could exist on nothing but breakfast cereal and chocolate biscuits.

My socks usually sit in neat little rows on my airer for a fortnight at a time. It makes it easy to grab a matching pair in the morning. However your comment inspired me enough to actually match them up and stick them away in my underwear drawer. In the morning when I stumble around blindly unable to find them anywhere, I shall blame you. :rotfl:

moo2moo

mechanical_angel wrote: »

So not an entirely successful day today. I tried to cancel lovefilm but the women on the other end of the phone had such an impenetrable accent I ended up suspending for three months in sheer self-defense. Must make a note to keep this going.

moo2moo, of course you should eat breakfast cereal for every meal, it's healthy and full of vitamins, it says so on the packet. When I was at university I put intensive work into proving a human being could exist on nothing but breakfast cereal and chocolate biscuits.
:rotfl:

Thats an improvement on my uni diet which involved an eyewatering amount of cheap beer, chocolate with hazel nuts and the occassional mashed banana and peanut butter toastie.

As for lovefilm.... thats easy....

Dear LoveFilm,

Yesterday I contacted you by telephone in order to cancel my account with you, however your call centre operator merely suspended my account despite being informed multiple times that I wish to cancel.

Please terminate my account with immediate effect and confirm this has been actioned within seven days of reciept of this letter.

Regards

Mechanical Angel

Love Film account no :

Then bung it in an envelope to their freepost address.

LOVEFiLM Customer Services
FREEPOST RRCA-EHAC-ZZKX
LOVEFiLM UK Ltd
London
W3 6RU

hannahroberts1985

Hey :wave:

The sock situation made me :rotfl: Mine get left on the airer for ages then get knocked on the floor by my kitten so generally I wear my BF's as he actually puts them in a draw, sometimes he even puts them into pairs which is a treat :j But most days I wear one mismatched novelty socks. Today I had one Mr Happy and one Santa with a bauble on.

Maybe we should set up a challenge similar to the NSD etc but a MSD (matching sock day)
xxx

mechanical_angel

Hannah, your socks sound very snazzy. Sadly all mine are black for work, so I have maybe fifteen pairs all in varying shades of washed too many times grey, none of which really match. They look very smart all bundled up in their drawer though.

I generally have to shut my airer away in my room because my cats think of it as an extra special toy just for them. They knocked the whole thing over once and looked very suprised as they untangled themselves from my shirts.

Moo2moo thank you for the Love Film address, I will whip a letter off to them tomorrow. I really don't need that extra expense right now.

Also in exciting world-conqueoring news I have actually hoovered. :j

Probably wont manage much this weekend as I'm going visiting. A dear friend and her two perpetual energy devices, I mean, small boys. They are both very sweet but they are on the go all the time. I have nothing but awed respect for parents.

Must keep my momentum going when I get back though. I keep think about the motivational videos they force us to watch at work. Ridiculously cheesy and cringeworthy but you know despite their blatancy they stil reve you up, (until you get back to your desk and remember your supposed to just shut up and be a good little cog.) So I'm thinking I should try and import some of that into my real life, even if it feels ridiculous.

Positive steps, write to lovefilm, tidy desk, clean bathroom

Wordsmith

Congratulations on the hoovering - bet you felt better for getting it done. Enjoy your weekend.

hannahroberts1985

Hey :wave:

Just having a rest in the middle of cleaning my house. Made me think of you. I really didn't want to start cleaning this morning but once I got going there was no stopping me. i'e even scrubbed the carpet with stain remover and removed the cussion covers. :eek: Had to stop for a drink as I was getting a bit dizzy.

Hope to see you back soon and hoping your absence is because you've been sooo busy cleaning and not hiding in your bed :rotfl:

xxxxx