Wedding abroad (dont trust the weather!)

dw85

Hi,

My fiance and i have only recently become engaged, and ofcourse once we broke the news the first things (after Congratulations!) was when/where (or OOOH i call Bridesmaid!:doh:)...

Im one of the few girls who has not had her dream wedding planned from the off, put this way, i'd would give anything to go on Dont Tell the Bride and leave it up to future hubby

Anyways, i digress, since im new to all this (ive only been to a few receptions, never a full wedding!) we have come to the decision that we would like to get married abroad, either a beach wedding or by a waterfall (plus, we dont trust the weather in the UK!!). Next year would be great but i have a feeling that will incur the wrath of a couple of friends who are marrying next year and have planned for the last two (i cannot wait 2 years!) as i think we will be around the same time..

My questions being:
How much should be budgeted?
Im assuming that you pay a package price (like a holiday) and then add a wedding package ontop?
Is it wrong to assume that any guests who come will pay themselves? We would like to think of it as, make it your main holiday and join us for our wedding!

Any companies recommended?

Thanks in advance, just dont know where to start!!!

CupcakeLisa

I am getting married in nyc in Oct - the wedding itself has cost around £6000 but could have easily been done for much less

We have 14 guests coming and they have all paid for themselves

dw85

oh that sounds lovely.
How have you done it? Was it a package deal?
Are you combining it with a honeymoon?

Labsettings

I don't know about budget for an abroad holiday, though we have a 'holiday hypermarket' near us (has first choice/Thompson brochures etc) and they definitely have 'get married abroad' brochures so maybe head down there and grab a few? It'll give you a starting point!

My cousin got married in Thailand and pretty much said to everyone: We sadly can't afford to take you all with us, if you can afford to come, great, if you can't, we'll catch up with you after we get back. This is where we're staying, this is how much it costs.
The outcome was that most close family/close friends went, but alot of others didn't. They were happy with this, as all the 'important' people made it.

I guess as long as you remember that the guests coming for your wedding (and may not have holidayed otherwise/chosen somewhere else), and don't word it as "We are giving you a treat by having an excuse to holiday with us" kind of thing, your friends and family should be cool. I'd love to get married abroad, the only thing stopping us is some of our grandparents would be unable to travel, and we really want them there with us. If I was invited to a wedding abroad, I definitely wouldn't expect the bride and groom to pay for it.

Saying that - I'm headed to a wedding in Wales next year, and guests are sorting travel/accom themselves, so I am going to a wedding abroad! Yay!

Sorry I dotted around alot there!

Lovelyjoolz

Sadly, most people (other than close friends/family) just won't be as excited about your wedding as you are. It will be just another wedding to them and they won't necessarily want to give up their own idea of a good holiday to come to the wedding.

Worst case scenario: No one comes to the wedding. If you are going to be devastated to have just you and H2B, mums & dads, siblings and best friends then weddings abroad aren't for you.

It will all depend on where you're going. If you're staying in Europe then people can just come for the weekend. If you're going far flung, then I think there will be fewer people willing to give up their two weeks to fly to a destination of your choice.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of running off somewhere warm and exotic for a wedding, but sadly, not everyone shares the same view

Besides, wedding days are about so much more than just the weather

LEJC

It really depends when and where you get married...we didn't get married abroad but over the years I've seen many weddings whilst staying in all inclusive resorts in the caribbean.

Most of the resorts or hotels ive been to seem to only hold one wedding a day but this is not always the case for every wedding abroad...so when you book you will need to establish what type of package you want...I believe that if you opt for packages in some areas of Greece and cyprus you are alloted a certain amount of time at the venue to complete the formalities of the wedding before moving on to a resturant or tavern for the reception...you may find that there are most definatley other weddings that day particularly if you choose peak season....I really am trying to avoid the word "multiple " weddings in a day because there is a gap between each one but its important that you keep mindful that you wont necessarly be the only wedding in the church that day...think of it a little like a regisry office senario where the weddings are booked in slots.

I think its perfectly reasonable to invite guests to share your day...although again please dont be offended if they choose not to make the trip with you...afterall it is your choice of destination rather than theirs....and as such if you give them plenty of notice those who really want to share your day with you will be able to make arrangements to join you....

At most I've probably seen wedding parties of about 8-10 people but usually its just the bride and groom who have gone away for a quiet wedding and even picked their witnesses from other guests staying at the resort...most ive spoken to usually say that they are having a much bigger party when they get home as a reception for friends and family.

Another point to consider is that whilst you dont trust the weather here....you shouldnt trust it there either......

Marrying abroad can be very hot if you choose somewhere like greece or italy midsummer...and marrying in the caribbean between june and september when its officially the rainy season can mean you get caught in a sudden shower there too!!....having said that the rain certainly doesnt seem to feel as cold there as it does here.

The packages that ive seen for the caribbean are add ons to the basic holiday price....some offer free weddings but its usually tied into a much more expensive room upgrade or the booking of multiple rooms....basically included within the packages you find the ceremony and paperwork,brides bouquet and a buttonhole for the groom...a bottle of bubbly and a small wedding cake following the ceremony and a photographic package of upto 32 photos on a disc to bring home.things like steel pan music and a video of the ceremony are usually extra as is the thing like hair and make up packages your bride might want to take advantage of ,but usually if the resort has a spa there is often a free "married couple massage" included or a breakfast in the room the following morning.....each package is different depending on the hotel you choose to stay at so do make sure you check what is included.Its also worth remembering that when marrying abroad you may need to be "resident" in the country for a few days before and you will need to spend a day sorting out the legal paperwork so its bst to marry on about day 4 or 5 of your holiday and spend the next 10 days relaxing as if it were a honeymoon.

Another thing to consider if you want is for you and your partner to stay at one hotel,the one you wish to get married at and the other members of your party stay at another nearby resort,that way you can meet up for the wedding and still feel that you arnt sharing your honemoon with everyone...these are all thinbgs that you can find out about when deciding who to book with and where to stay....but I guess a lot really depends on just how many people travel with you for the wedding...


You may also find that you dont automatically get an extra luggage allownce for the flight...so its a good idea to choose a dress that isnt going to take up the hold...aside from that they will be very heavy to wear in the heat and most weddings in the caribbean will not be until the afternoon this allows hopfully for it to be a little cooler....and that also allows for some stunning picture around dusk usually around 6pm of the sunsetting.

Ive seen some lovely weddings in Barbados,Jamaica,tobago,antigua and st lucia....all fairly simple but each of them beautiful in their own way


Virgin do a wedding brochure as do lots of the other major tour operators why not pick a few up and see what you think

Good luck with your planning

dw85

Thanks! By all means,we are not expecting our friends and family to drop any plans they had for us. We were thinking that those that want to be there, can (but we do have to bear in mind costs...whilst we dont mind paying more for just us, i know his immediate family are keen and thats 6 of them...££££).
We also liked the idea of having a party type thing when we are back, for everyone (plus i'd get a second wear of the dress ). But logistics play again (part of the reason we want to go away), as family and friends are spread all over the country. Ive also heard that this can end up expensive too

I have already started on the brochures. Kuoni, Thomas cook so far. But again, they dont really offer much on total prices.

Also, the all inc idea is part of the appeal, as most resorts are big enough that they cater for most age ranges (initial numbers ages range from 14-60+) so everyone can go do their own thing.

How do people do this!?!! lol

fawny

Hello dw85,

Congratulations:j So you will see from my signature that i'm a wedding abroads bride:D We decided we wanted to get married abroad for many reasons, the weather, didn't know where in the UK to get married, i'm from Yorkshire orginally now live in Staffordshire where OH is from. His family are here, mine are in Yorks & I have friends scattered round the country. We decided on Lindos in Rhodes as this was the 1st place we went on holiday together after only been with each other for 2 months & it really cemented our relationship:D We have had ourr main holiday in Lindos/Pefkos every September for the last 7 years there now, so it seemed like the obvious place & also we hoped that it would not make it too expensive for people to join us. My OH parents are too old to travel so we knew they would not be able to come & we spoke in depth to them about our plans & they were happy for us(I know they ae a bit sad they won't see their boy marry(he's 42) but they are happy as they know it's what we want. He also said his brother & sister would not come & he's right but he was happy with that as it's what we want to do. We annoucned our marriage in Feb 11 & it's happening in Sep 12 so we gave everyone plenty of notice to decide & save up if they wanted to come. I think we told most people face to face where & when but we sent std's out in Feb last year, saying all about it & saying we would love people to join us but fully understood if they could not. We asked people to let us know if they were inreseted so we could chat to them about what the costs were likely to be. Unfortunatly as much as we would have loved to pay for everyone we can't & so we were prepared to go it alone just the 2 of us if no one could join us. We have 13 guests booked to join us & they have all booked up themselves, they are using it as their holiday so they have choosen where they want to stay within their budget. We won't be spending all the time we are there with them as they dont want that either. We are having a meet & greet night so that everyone can get to know each other & then there is obviously the weeding day but other than that the majority are doing what they want. My parents are having a few days out with their friends & we have some friend staying where we are who we will end up spending a bit more time with i'm sure.

So regarding booking it all, I searched the internet for independent wedding planners based on Rhodes/Lindos & did my research, there was no way I was going to book through a tour operator I just don't trust them to know enough about planning weddings. So once I had found the planner I wanted we contacted her got loads of info & booked our wedding date back in Feb 11. They have been amazing & sorted everything we have asked for wih no stress to us what so ever. We had a UK consulation back with them in Nov to really arrange everything with was great. Cost wise, we are coming in at about £8000 he good euro rate has helped:D This includeds:-

2 weeks s/c accomadtion booked with tour operator
wedding planners fee(£750)
Legal fees & translation costs
The chaple costs
Flowers
drinks on the beach after the service
a glassbottom boat trip with champagne
the reception, meal, wine, welcome drinks
A 3 night stay in a luxery hotel(£1500 of the budget:o)
Men's suits
BM dress
A musican to play me into the chaple
A saxaphonist to play for an hour at the reception
Taxi *3 to the chaple
Hair
Photographer
decorations & favours

I think thats pretty it but i think our money has gone a long way. I know people get maried in the UK for less but it's all within our budget. My parents are paying for my dress so that would be on top if I was paying.

Hope this helps, if you fancy Lindos I can highly reccomend our planner www.lindosweddings.com

Fawny

neenaww

Firstly congratulations!!

There is a great deal of fab advice already on here so I will just tell you how we planned ours.

Firstly as we had no dates in mind we started looking into the average temperatures at the places we would like to marry, as this is a big factor and made a list of the ideal months for the temps we thought we would be comfortable with. Then we looked into the months that were hurricane seasons and ruled those out etc etc. Not very romantic I know but it worked for us. Then as we both work shifts but I have set holiday dates we checked to see what hubby could get off that coincided with mine! Eventually we got a month and a place!

We knew that friends and family probably would not want to travel and to be honest we were not bothered as we have both been married before so they have already been to our respective weddings and we quite liked the idea of it being just the two of us. Again we had already decided that we would do the party thing after for everyone so that they got to celebrate with us (and yes I got to wear the dress again!)

We booked through Thomsons and the wedding was arranged through Hayes and Jarvis as part of the package. My only "needs" were that it was one wedding a day hotel as we did not want to feel like we were on a wedding conveyor belt! We had lots of input into what we wanted and it was better than we imagined. We picked two of the staff from the hotel as witnesses, we had a week there before the wedding date so got to know them quite well and this was really nice.

All in all we had a holiday of a lifetime and a beautiful, intimate, romatic wedding on the most amazing beach.

I highly recommend getting married abroad, but as others have said it will probably boil down to your families and how they feel. Another plus to the abroad wedding is we had no one telling us who to invite and not invite and what we needed to arrange etc. We had OUR wedding, how WE wanted it and had it OUR way!!

Good luck, if you decide to go for it it will be amazing!!

(sorry this post got rather longer than I expected!):rotfl:

angelil

I got married "abroad" (as in, in the country where I now live, but "abroad" given that most of my family and friends are still in the UK) last year.

The weather did not hold for us (we married in northern France, where the weather can be pretty similar to in Britain) - we had grey skies, a bit of a breeze and some drizzle as well. Lovely!! Luckily for us we didn't choose our location for the weather

It ended up being a small wedding as it would have been too expensive otherwise (my husband's family is enormous too with bajillions of cousins, aunts, uncles etc). We ended up being very harsh and saying parents, grandparents and siblings only, plus one aunt and uncle from my side that I am very close to and happen to also live in France. Even then, of the 4 grandparents invited on my side only one came (the rest citing frankly pathetic reasons relating to travel, even though my parents took the ferry and practically offered to drive them door to door). Be prepared for this to happen to you; it is upsetting when it does.

We had a party in the UK 3 months later. Luckily my husband's family is very relaxed and so when we only invited his parents and his sister, nobody minded (he didn't really want to invite anyone else). The rest of the party consisted of my family and friends. This is certainly not a cheap way of doing things, as you recognise, but it enabled a lot more people to share in our wedding celebrations. HOWEVER, it's presumably as cheap or expensive as you make it and I know there are loads of great ideas on here for getting married on a budget.

Hope that helps a bit

dingdongavoncalling

After having first ruling out getting married aborad I am now toying with the idea again....

If we were to go abroad we would go somewhere relatively close in Europe (Possibly Italy or France) so 1-people can go for just a weekend if needs be and 2-the climate isn't too different.

I really fancy a Lake Garda wedding.

We would invite only the people I think would want to, and be prepared to come which would be close family and friends (about 15-20 people) and then when we got back have a party and hot/cold buffet or something for everyone else. At the moment if we have a UK wedding it is going to have be be about 90 people to the day which is expensive and possibly daunting. Being abroad will cut the costs and rule out speeches/first dance and other formalities....which at the moment make me cringe to think about!

I think the only thing I could possibly miss is having my church packed full of everyone.....but in order to havee a church packed full we would need to pay for a venue packed full............:cool:

Thoughts?