Fixing the dripping tap - aiming for a debt free life

Catriona_P

maddiemay wrote: »

I wish there was something I could say that would help, but keeping everything crossed for you, strictly speaking the valuer is only going to be there to assess the current value, by noting it's condition (structurally and decoratively, state of kitchen, bathroom etc), and comparing it to prices achieved for similar properties in similar condition in the area; they are trained to "see around" people's stuff, but I am sure that you will want to present your home in the best possible light. (Hugs)

I just get very touchy about people seeing my house in a mess, and lack of time in which to tidy it. I don't know why I didn't twig that a valuer would want to come and actually take a look although it makes perfect sense. Will just have to do my best to make the place look presentable.

beanielou wrote: »

Is there a lot of your debt that your husband doesent know about?
Hope all goes smoothly.

As a result of this remortgage he now knows how much I owe on my Barclaycard (I got a rant from him and lots of eye-rolling/patronising comments about making sure I 'watch the pennies'). I generally use my Tesco card for day-to-day purchases and pay it off at the end of the month, but I've stupidly allowed it to creep up in the last few months so that's not possible at the moment (I owe £1.4k, I told him it was £800 to avoid an argument).

Lying doens't help, I know that, but I can't face the constant arguing and belittling.

I've sent off all the info I have to the mortgage company, so we'll see what they say now.

Catriona_P

Both DD and myself have been poorly with various illnesses the last few weeks, so it's been a bit rough here. Fallen behind on my studying as a result, so working hard to catch up.

After several weeks of back-and-forth with the mortgage company, the paperwork arrived today to say it had been accepted! Hooray! :j

As of next month our mortgage bill is half what it was, which is great news for me and my attempts to bring my debt down as I'll have £200 extra in my wallet every month. Once DD turns 3 we'll also be getting 15 free hours of childcare a week too, so as of next April that will be about £58 a week extra in my wallet too (so about £232 a month). So in April 2014 I will be roughly £432 a month better off, which is a huge amount of money.

I'm hoping I'll look back on these days at some point in the future and wonder how on earth I managed at all with such high outgoings. Having debt is awful but it's kind of nice to know it hasn't solely been down to my financial mismanagement.

maddiemay

Fantastic news (not the illnesses of course), I am so pleased for you. I really hope that this is the start of much better things for you. Good luck with the studying, hopefully it will feel a little easier without all the pressure that you have been under. Roll on being debt free in due course.:j

Catriona_P

New mortgage begins today! Hooray! :j

Things have been hard going since my last post but now Christmas is out of the way I can breathe a little. Tried to spend as little as possible this year but this was made harder by friends who didn't like my 'let's just buy for the kids this year' suggestion. These aren't people who are well off, they just can't resist buying random rubbish for each other 'because it's Christmas'. I find it frustrating. :mad:

My exam is in a few weeks so I'm focusing on that, closely followed by daughter's birthday. Certainly enough to keep me busy.

On the hoarding front, I managed to have a good clearout over the xmas period in our bedroom and have 2 bags of stuff to go to the charity shop when I get the chance. Some of it is stuff I could try to sell on eBay but quite frankly I just want shot of it now rather than hanging on just to make a few pence. This is a major change in attitude for me. It doesn't solve the lack of storage in the house though.

On a personal level, things are rough maritally. Part of the reason I'm so willing to part with goods is that I want the house on the market in the autumn, and I want to talk to husband about permanent separation. Once the buzz of exam/daughter birthday is out of the way, I need to speak to the solicitor I saw last year and make concrete plans. Better to plan things before I speak to him as my gut is telling me this is going to be nasty. I don't trust him to treat me with respect.

Finally, the debt front. Not so good but my fingers are crossed the extra money each month is going to make a difference. I would love to be debt free by the end of 2014.

New Year's Not-so-resolutions:
- Finish Diploma
- Sell house
- Be free of people and debt that are holding me down.

Not a hard ask then!

maddiemay

Good news that you have survived Christmas, it is a shame about the friends present stuff, it is that sort of attitude that devalues Christmas and takes a lot of the joy away from it, still next year if you still have the same set of friends you will probably feel strong enough to say NO.


As you say, you now have the exam and little one's birthday to concentrate all your efforts onto, I hope that life is kind and you are able to work out your study time.


Great news about the mortgage, and well done on the decluttering, it will hopefully be a lot easier a) that you have made a good start and b) you have the aim of getting your possessions down to necessary and some special items that you will easily be able to transport and start your new life with your little girl. I think you are right to take advice and work out your moves very carefully, no need to speak out too soon and make things difficult or put yourself in danger.


With regard to the debt, although it will not be easy, you now have something concrete to aim for, every penny you can put towards the debt is a step nearer to financial and personal freedom. Go girl, you can do it. (sorry no smilies!)

Catriona_P

Joined the thread about what was life in your 20's and my post makes for some depressing reading when I read it back:

I'm leaving my 20's in a month or so (boo) so this is pertinent for me. Can honestly say my 20's are very far from what I thought they'd be.

Graduated from uni aged 21, struggled to find a job and had to relocate back to my home town to find work (something I regret as I really didn't want to go back). Spent some time in horrible temping jobs then ended up in a career I never would have looked at (but I was desperate for a permanent job) and have grown to like my career path but not love it as much as I wanted to love my choice of career. Was bullied horribly at that job but stuck at it for 3 years. It also took me 2 years to pass my driving test in this time as I suffered from terrible driving nerves (I'm ok driving now though!)

Married at 25 to partner of 6 years, relocated again to another part of the country (big mistake) and bought our first house (another mistake). Had my daughter aged 26 and life since then has been a juggling act of trying to be a good parent (and not always succeeding), trying to fool myself into thinking I can have a good career as well as be a parent, and struggling generally with no family support, very few friends and pretty much no social life. Rocky marriage on top of that.

And debt. I've been in debt for a decade - student fees, credit cards, mortgage etc. Very little to show for it, havn't travelled or had anything like the kinds of experiences others here have talked about.

All in all not what I expected and in all honesty if I could go back to the start of my 20's I would do most things very differently. My advice to anyone in their early 20's (and to my younger self) is not to settle for anything else than what you feel you truly deserve. I feel I compromised too much and have ended up very far from the person I wanted to be.

It's pretty depressing reading! I really need to start shaking things up a bit.

Exam is done, daughter's birthday has been and gone. We're in the process of sorting the kitchen (a big, expensive job but the last big one we need to do before the house can go on the market). The rain hasn't helped, there's leaks in the house where there wasn't any before which will cost a lot to fix.

The debt is depressing me. I'm not overspending on things, I'm really not, yet it isn't going down as quickly as I'd like. I've done balance lists and it seems my money just goes on life in general. I don't buy clothes, we don't have expensive days out or holidays, my old car is on its last legs. Living is expensive. It's maddening.

Started keeping an eye on rental properties. The really depressing thing there is that I can't get a mortgage on my own (the amount banks would offer me isn't enough to buy anything more than a tiny 1 bed flat in this town) and the rents are so high they're practically a mortgage. Can't move elsewhere.

Things are tough at home but I'm scraping by.

maddiemay

Great news that the exam is behind you, do you have to wait long for the result? I hope that DD had a great birthday:D

I am sorry that your situation has not got any easier, in the absence of a fairy godmother (there seems to be rather a shortage of them:() I guess that you just have to keep plodding, picking away at the debt a little at a time and believe that nothing is forever.

Now that the exam is done, will that leave you any time for extra earnings, surveys, writing, e-baying? When I came across you on another thread where I drop in occasionally for inspiration:), you seemed to be doing rather well at sorting "stuff" out.

Take care and keep believing that your DD's and your day will come:A

Catriona_P

maddiemay wrote: »

Great news that the exam is behind you, do you have to wait long for the result? I hope that DD had a great birthday:D

I am sorry that your situation has not got any easier, in the absence of a fairy godmother (there seems to be rather a shortage of them:() I guess that you just have to keep plodding, picking away at the debt a little at a time and believe that nothing is forever.

Now that the exam is done, will that leave you any time for extra earnings, surveys, writing, e-baying? When I came across you on another thread where I drop in occasionally for inspiration:), you seemed to be doing rather well at sorting "stuff" out.

Take care and keep believing that your DD's and your day will come:A

Hi Maddie

I get my exam result in April which seems like miles off but I'll be back and studying by then for the next exam in July. At some point I also have a dissertation to write! DD had a lovely birthday thanks, she's still talking about it now.

I'm doing ok at the 'sorting' of stuff, I've got two more charity bags to go when I get a chance to do the walk to the shop. I'm actually looking at some of the beautiful (and expensive) shoes I used to wear years ago that are currently sat in my wardrobe. Some of them were only worn once so I should be able to sell them on. Just trying to persuade myself that I don't need to keep them.

Hope you're well. :T

maddiemay

Hi Catriona
I am OK thanks, will be so pleased when Spring arrives though!

I have some things sorted for the CS, will take them when we get a dry day:(

Perhaps you would feel OK about the shoes if the money could go towards something special, like doing an activity with DD in the summer holidays?

Catriona_P

maddiemay wrote: »

Perhaps you would feel OK about the shoes if the money could go towards something special, like doing an activity with DD in the summer holidays?

Thats a good idea - a nice treat for me and her.