Separated But Living In Same House

averageguy11

My 'wife' and i agreed to divorce mid last year....we still get on quite well and weren't/aren't in a position to live apart at this stage for financial reasons. in view of this we agreed the grounds for our eventual divorce would be by separation on the understanding that this could still be done even though we lived in the same property.

Finances for the house are split down the middle, as though we are doing a house share. Cooking etc is done by each party and obviously we dont sleep together. This started last May.

At this stage we have not drawn up any deed of separation and my question is 2fold:

1. would the 2 year period start from last May or when such agreement is drawn up?

2. The only assets that need to be split are pension and house, we both agree these will be 50/50. We are both relatively struggling financially and are trying to avoid a solicitor if at all possible and I wondered if anyone can lead me to where a draft deed of separation document can be obtained free of charge. I recognise that at some stage we may need to consult a solicitor to confirm that we have covered all bases, but want to use one where absolutely necessary.

Many thanks for any advice/help offered.

Sus1e

Sorry, Can't help you, but

Bump..... incase anyone else can

averageguy11

bump?........................................

headchef

Hi There
I can say it isn't necessary to get a Deed of Separation to get the divorce, but you may want to draw one up incase one of you were to win the lottery in the near future and the other could make a claim. How much you expect that to happen is down to you!
My ex-hubby and I divorced after two years separation. He applied straight to the courts for the paperwork and paid the court fee of £50 or whatever it was in 2000. So no solicitors were involved at all.
The only slight difference is that by that time we had sold our joint house and split the proceeds 50/50. We had only been married for four year's and following one of those 'half hour with solicitor for £30 deals' I found out it wasn't worth arguing over half my ex's pension because the marriage had been short. We don't have children though so of course it was all straight forward.
What I'm not sure of in your case is if you have to prove you've been living separatly in the same house but then again how can you prove or disprove it? It must rely on you both agreeing that you have lived separatly.
Anyway I think 2 yr sep is a much more civilised way of getting divorced. The irony is with most people I know who cite 'unreasonable behaviour' becuase solicitors say it's 'quick' is that is takes about 2 years to sort out the arguemnts over finances adn children anyway. But then I don't think lawyers get as much money out of making things straightforward.

headchef

Sorry forgot to add, that we DIDN'T get a Deed of Separation

averageguy11

Ta for that...yes i agree that it is muchmore civilised..I'm not that niave to know that things may change..but at the moment we both understand our own financial situations. There are 'children' but they are aged 18 and 20 so hardly children really.

It seems sensible to at least confirm in writing the sharing of the hosue and my pension, but I cant think of anything else that needs to be stated. If we work back to the date when we started living 'apart' then we've nearly done a year already.

mookiandco

It is possible to obtain a divorce based on 2 years separation even if you live in the same house. The question the court will ask is whether you have been leading seperate lives for the past 2 yrs. Do you eat together? Do you share a bedroom? Do you share the finances? Do you socialise together? Who does the housework? Does that person clean both your bedrooms and living areas? Who does the food shopping? Do you communicate, save for when its absolutely nescessary? All these things will be taken into account.

If you both agree you separated in May, i.e you came to the conclusion then that the marriage had irretrievably broken down, then that is when the 2year period will start from.

Regarding the finances, I would sincereley advise both you and your wife get independent legal advice. A bit of money spent now will save alot of heartache in the long run.

averageguy11

Mook..ta 4 the reply...''do we communicate''..if u cud c the size of our house..its impossoible not too..we communicate as friends do..so dont just do it when necessary..apart from that its like a house share..where each contributes separately...we have no choice but to share a bedroom..separate beds..each has there own area.

sticher

It was a long time ago that I divorced my husband, but we did it totally ourselves - no solicitors at all. I have to admit we were a bit dishonest and just said we had been separated for two years even though we hadn't to speed things up as we knew that was what we wanted.

We felt we did not need any advice, as like you we agreed to split house 50:50. We sent off the paperwork, paid the cost and the divorce went through amicably.

I don't really see how anyone outside of the two of you could really know whether you are living separately/together in the same house. As far as I remember we were never questioned (in fact I don't recall even going anywhere/seeing anyone about any of it - we just posted off the paperwork).