Moving in with single mum...

sniggings

If Penny takes a huff cos you are trying to earn her a living maybe not hushing into another baby too quickly would maybe be an idea

nannytone_2

sniggings wrote: »

If Penny takes a huff cos you are trying to earn her a living maybe not hushing into another baby too quickly would maybe be an idea

my thoughts exactly. if youre worrying about benefits with the family as it exists now ... why are you even considering adding to it?

chrisnpen

nannytone wrote: »

my thoughts exactly. if youre worrying about benefits with the family as it exists now ... why are you even considering adding to it?

absolutely inspired- thank you so very much!

The nature of my question was more along the lines of which benefits my partner would keep and which would she lose... obviously if we're struggling with two kids, we shan't try for another.

I appreciate that some people in this world need the bleedin obvious pointing out to them, but to assume everybody is like that is a little arrogant, don't you think?!

Keep up the good work though. :T

chrisnpen

sniggings wrote: »

If Penny takes a huff cos you are trying to earn her a living maybe not hushing into another baby too quickly would maybe be an idea

See previous reply. x

Pricivius

Wow - no need for the sarcasm. It's a fair point and people were always going to make it having read your opening post. You're worried about providing for your new family, but are hoping to get pregnant in the not too distant future - it's a bit of a contradiction. Once you know you can afford your new family, then maybe it's time to consider whether you can afford another. I see nothing wrong in people suggesting you see if you can walk before you try to run.

And it's not obvious that if you struggle to afford two, then you won't try for the third, particularly when you state the possible solution of a temporary job for Pen would only be a temporary solution due to the hoped-for pregnancy. That's contradictory.

FBaby

chrisnpen wrote: »

am just a little nervous being the main breadwinner for a whole family, whereas up until now have only had to fend for myself... I am sure i would be able to manage but any benefits would take a little of the pressure off...

It's understandable that you should be a bit anxious and rightly so. The government considers that you are a family now like those where babies were concieved together and brought up together. They don't make the distinction. Clearly, there is as however much you care for these children, they are not yours, so you find yourself with two choices:
- Accept that if these were your children and you agreed with your partner that she stayed home to look after them, you WOULD be responsible for them and expected to support them.
- Accept as a family that it isn't fair to expect you to consider these children as if they were yours and for you to support the whole family. Your partner than must accept that SHE is the person mainly responsible for her children (since the dad seem irresponsible) and SHE needs to go to work and provide support.

You can't have it both way I'm afraid.

sniggings

chrisnpen wrote: »

See previous reply. x

not good that you are so closed to advice when you post on a forum, no one has insulted you, with you starting living together, having a baby, working away and asking about benefits you clearly need all the advice you can get and a more open mind.

Hmm71

Good luck to you OP, you sound like a good, decent bloke. (Do you have a brother? )
I've just had a look on the Housing Benefit bedroom entitlement rates on my council's website and according to that you would only be eligible for the two bedroom rate of housing benefit. If you and Pen do have your own children then you would get the three bedroom rate. Whether you would actually get any to begin with is a different matter.
https://www.dwpe-services.direct.gov.uk/portal/page/portal/ba/lp
Try the link above I've found it to be pretty accurate but don't take it as 100% accurate.

ali-t

chrisnpen wrote: »

The extra bummer is that the big money for me involves working away, and from november (When we plan to move) onwards i have been told that if i work away after dragging the tribe across the country, penny will be hugely cross with me and will go into a huff, and we don't want that now, do we?!

Your partner sounds like she wants to have her cake, eat it and keep some icing for later!

If you are planning to add to the family perhaps your partner can look at some alternative income generation solutions to make up for the benefits shortfall. This would take some of the pressure off yourself and might mean you can still have the freedom to do some of the things you currently spend your money on (e.g. sky package, gym memebership, nights out etc). Your salary isn't going to go far in looking after 4 and potentially 5 people.

There are lots of work from home things she could be doing e.g. surveys, lionbridge etc. If she has undertaken any higher education and has experience in that field (I don't know how old your partner is or how likely this is from your posts) she could become an OU tutor which involves working from home or perhaps a sessional college lecturer working a few hours a week for around £25ph.

tescobabe69

Chris, is buying a property not an option ? You get much nicer neighbours.