Workmate with mental illness, getting worse, what can his friend do?

bob_dob

Thank you. I feel for you.
I will pass on all the information and help.
Thank you again!

SueC_2

Just to reinforce what has already been said - you simply cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. It is an absolutely awful position to be in, as I believe there is nothing so hard as watching someone you care about destroy themselves and their life, but nevertheless sometimes it is all you can do.

If all else has failed, your friend needs to concentrate on managing the impact this situation has on his life - it's very easy to become riddled with angst, feel guilty, fall into depression, become obsessed with trying to help. Even though your friend can't control how his colleague handles his situation, he can control how he handles his own, and ultimately, looking after himself has to be his priority.

Yorkie1

Cannot add much to what is above, except to provide a link to a few documents which relate to stress in the workplace. There may be a couple of additional tips which may of use.

http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/information.htm

dancingfairy

I say be honest with him (the person who is ill) -either gently or brutally, whichever way you feel he will listen to. Explain that you are genuinly concerned for him and understand that it is not an easy position to be in. Does he think he has a problem? Can you explain the consequences to him of his behaviour - ie he will lose his jobs, his friends etc?
Not sure what the problem with CSA is - does he owe money? does he not believe he owes this money? or is he owed money and can't get it? Perhaps he has debt problems and is reluctant to admit it and so it is coming out as agression when he is really embarassed at being in such a situation? I'm just wondering whether you can turn the situation around in his mind - from 'arggh I'm being chased by the CSA' to 'I'm supporting my kids even though things didn't work out with my partner' - perhaps getting him to think of the situation in a different light or 'oh go I've got debt problems' to 'but at least I'm now getting help'.
Best of Luck
df

bob_dob

Thanks for that.
Im afraid the problem with the CSA is that he has 3 children but refuses to pay what he owes and is trying to get out of paying any.

marybelle01

bob_dob wrote: »

Thanks for that.
Im afraid the problem with the CSA is that he has 3 children but refuses to pay what he owes and is trying to get out of paying any.

Well in that case I am afraid I foresee his life getting far more stressful, because that isn't going to happen. At least not until he has no job.