Moving closer to a parent

3 Posts
I'm know this is one of those "that depends" questions but I'm hoping to clarify my thoughts!
My dad lives an hour and a half drive (mostly motorway) from us. We speak on the phone every day and see him twice a week at least. He's 77 and fit and well.
We have no ties in the area we currently live in and work in jobs that we can move with.
We want to move close enough to be able to just pop round and see him without a motorway trip.
When is the right time to make this move? On the one hand we'll possibly know when the time is right, on the other hand I'd like to just get on and do it and be in control of it.
Appreciate any feedback.
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My dad lives an hour and a half drive (mostly motorway) from us. We speak on the phone every day and see him twice a week at least. He's 77 and fit and well.
We have no ties in the area we currently live in and work in jobs that we can move with.
We want to move close enough to be able to just pop round and see him without a motorway trip.
When is the right time to make this move? On the one hand we'll possibly know when the time is right, on the other hand I'd like to just get on and do it and be in control of it.
Appreciate any feedback.
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Replies
You may not have to move near him at all
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
Assuming your OH is OK with it, just do it
Is there is a possibility that he might not actually like you living so close?
My parents moved from the Cotswolds to be closer to us around 10 years ago and it was the best move they could have made.
They were retired, I'm an only child and they managed to sell the family home easily enough and downsize to a lovely bungalow just a mile or so away.
Sadly Dad developed Alzheimers a couple of years after the move, but what a comfort it was to be able to help him and Mum at the drop of a hat.
When Dad passed away last year we were there for Mum and we all supported each other - there's a lot to be said for being able to pop around with the odd meal etc.
Now Mum is due a hip replacement and again I breathe a sigh of relief that we're so close.
He could phone you tomorrow and say he's had a terminal diagnosis, or he might be in the newspapers in 40 years' time as the UK's oldest bloke. "When" is a question that can never be answered.
If you're going to do it, then sooner is better than later.... if you leave it until later you might find yourselves doing it under pressure and therefore lacking in choices.
If he got a terminal diagnosis the simplest thing to do would be to rent something round the corner from him. If he kicks the bucket the day after we move then yes, we would probably move again, when we retire.
Are either/both of you working ( as you haven't yet retired)? If so what impact would the move have on your jobs, would your commute be significantly longer or more difficult or costly.
You travel to/from work 5 times a week (assuming full time 5 day week) but only travel to dad twice week. It will be easier to do the longest trip 2x rather than 5x a week.
Another thing to consider is the actual cost of moving with estate agents fees, solicitors, surveys, stamp duty etc it could be substantial sum.