CSA payments question

FBaby

greenstreetprince wrote: »

well when I see my ex sending my child over to me with the same pair of shoes every week for the past 5 months, when my childs socks stink and he says mummy has made him wear the same pair all week, when his hair isn't even washed properly 90% of the time....

yet at the same time she amazingly has the latest smartphone always, an ipad, a 3d home cinema system...and this is all on benefits (she doesnt have a job) and resides in a council house, then yes, I have a right to say that it isnt being spent on my child.

oh, and she doesnt have gas and electricity bills either, apparently thats part of her rental package, which is all paid for by the council!

And here we go, bitterness clouding everything. Yes, maybe your ex is selfish and spends most of her benefits on herself, and yes, maybe she is lazy and doesn't look after your son in an impacable manner, but frankly, when yourself are only contributing £24 a week towards your child and yet feels that this is more of a contribution that is required towards a child, I don't really see how you think you are in a position to make any comments.

barbiedoll

My friend's ex told her that he wouldn't pay her any money for their child as "she would spend it all on drink"

She does drink a lot but she also manages to hold down a full-time job, which pays for the mortgage on her house (which she bought years ago by saving hard and working 50+ hours a week), all of the bills, and all of the costs of bringing up her son. The ex has been very good at buying his son a pair of expensive trainers, or the latest games console but as for feeding him or paying for the roof over his head, he really has been found wanting.

Oh, and the CSA can't touch him because although he lives at his mother's, she denies all knowledge of his whereabouts. And he's a HGV driver with an agency, he changes jobs every couple of weeks so that they can't track him down.

What a guy! Form an orderly queue, girls!

kingfisherblue

I had a similar problem with my ex - he decided that I wasn't going to use any maintenance towards the children, but would spend it on myself instead. It wasn't a lot he had to pay for three kids per week - less than £60 - but he refused to pay (OP, I know you haven't refused to pay, but you have said that the money wouldn't go on the child).

I'm on benenfits, as I care for our severely disabled son, so I had to go through the CSA. Bear in mind this is when you only received the first £10 of maintenance, and the rest went to the government as I claimed benefits (which I don't object to, seems reasonable to me). It took four and a half years because of his job hopping, but eventually he had to pay everything, including arrears to me and to the Secretary of State, by a deduction of earnings order.

Now, I don't know how other people work it, but the CSA money goes into the household pot in my home. From that pot, I pay for everything. The kids are well fed and clothed. They attend school trips and holiday schemes. They have use of the internet (supervised for the two youngest - my daughter is now 21). I spend money on toilet rolls, cleaning materilas, and other essentials. We have the occasional meal out as a family, and some days out in the holidays. I save for christmas and for a family holiday each year (even if it is only a weekend away, although we usually manage five days). I also pay part of my mortgage (part of the interest is paid by the government as I am on benefits), and I pay for the endowments and insurances.

It could be said that I benefit from the child maintenance money, as I obviously use the above as well. However, my living costs would be far lower if I didn't need to have a three bedroomed house for myself and my children - and our house has been adapted for my disabled son's needs. I provide a home for my children. I provide everything they need.

I don't think of the income support that I receive as 'my money' to pay for 'my share of the bills'. It just goes into the hosuehold pot.

For myself, I don't drink alcohol, don't smoke or gamble. I buy a few bits of inexpensive fabric for my sewing (I attend a free sewing machine class once a week), but as we have a factory shop nearby, most of it has cost 50p a metre. I do buy clothes and shoes occasionally, but only from cheaper shops. I hate buying clothes and shoes for myself, I can never seem to find exactly what I want, although my newest shoes (£12 from Wyndsors) are close!

NRPs get very caught up in how PWCs spend 'their' money, but they often fail to realise that although it is welcome, it doesn't go far with growing children.

Bubby

Oh another ex who spends all the child maintenance on herself and neglects her child;):rotfl:

moneypuddle

My partner pays CSA - quick questions. Is the amount he pays the amount the ex actually gets? I assume the CSA take their cut? Or does the woman just get a set amount regardless of how much he pays?

turtlemoose

Please note, the CSA expect you to call them on the day your new child is born.

I have learnt from unfortunate experience that if you don't do this, they will only count from the day you tell them, not the date of birth.

kingfisherblue

moneypuddle wrote: »

My partner pays CSA - quick questions. Is the amount he pays the amount the ex actually gets? I assume the CSA take their cut? Or does the woman just get a set amount regardless of how much he pays?

The PWC gets the full amount. I believe that there are plans to start charging both the NRP and the PWC, but that is not yet in place.

It used to be that if the PWC was on benefits, they used to receive £10 and the rest went to the Secretary of State - that's how it was when I first claimed benefits in 2005. A couple of years later, this amount was increased to £20, but now the PWC gets the full amount. If the PWC didn't claim income related benefits, I believe that they received the full amount anyway.

moneypuddle

Thanks kingfisherblue!