What happens next?

stef240377

This is a brief summary of my situation i hope someone can help or direct me in the right direction.

My son is 16, he has been identified as a vulnerable young adult with learning difficulties. He has currently complete his work unit that he was assigned through a pupil refferal unit so is supposed to be out of education until september when his next course is to start. He has been under CAMHS, youth offending team and has intervention from the ASBO team as has been getting into trouble with police since february this year. Camhs became involved about 2.5years ago when he started self harming, they have since closed his case down because of him turning 16 and not wanting to blight any career he could have with information of him accessing level 3 mental health services.

I have another son living at home who is 15. Nothing out of the ordinary with this one, he has the usual teenage issues but nothing alarming. He earns money by doing an elderly neighbours garden and asks us to save it for him until he has accumulated enough to buy what he wants - currently anything scooter related.

The 16yo is outrageously jealous of him. I treat them equally and spend equally on them but the 16yo cant get his head round the fact that if his brother earns money thats his money i am not going to dip into my purse to the give the 16yo the same amount and his earnings are nothing to do with me.

The last argument regarding this was on 10 days ago. As he is not currently in education in lines with the work we were taught with camhs i have told him i want him up before 10.30am, to do one job around the house a day - either vaccuming or walking the dogs and to be in at 10pm at night because of his brother having school the next day and also because his peers are in around this time due to still being in school etc. Because of his learning difficulties i do get a small amount monthly for him in DLA and had a BF57 form signed up giving me permission to act as appointee and he was explained all this from someone outside the home to ensure he understood what it all meant. He has now gotten in with a new crowd of people, this is leading to him being erratic with his behaviour, total lack of respect for anyone in the home and getting into trouble with the police for shoplifiting. He walked out after telling me he will not live by my rules as i am a prison guard who doesnt give him a life!
I thought he would be gone a few days and then come back with tail between legs and a begrudging apology but no this isnt the case, the crowd he is in with are filling his head with nonsence about going to the council to go on the homeless list and be placed in supported living so he can get away from home. That i am a theif because he does not receive his DLA in his hand, instead if he needs something that wouldnt be a day to day expense it comes from his DLA.

So in the interim i have been trying to get him home, i know who he is with, an area but not an exact address. I spoke with the police last week who said theres nothing they can do as he is over 16 its a social services issue. I made the youth offending team aware as he is likely to reoffend in the meantime and we then found banning orders from a local store and a local shopping centre for theft reasons which needed to be put on their system. They inturn have been in contact with the asbo team who today assured me by the close of business today i would have him back at home because of his learning difficulties they cant take him on his physical age but on his mental one which is approx that of a 12 year old.

Social services were holding a meeting this afternoon in which we would be allocated a worker and it would go from there. In the meantime i have received a phone call back from the Seargant on duty saying they have carried out a safe and well check he is clothed and coherent and thats all they can do unless i can get a care order in place from SS to state that he must be returned home.

I am now going crazy because everyone is quick to dismiss any intervention but are even quicker to point out that as he is under 18 i am still responsible for him, i am doing everything in my power short of tracking him down and dragging him home as that would be then classed as something pathetic, but am getting nowhere. I were told last week because of his learning difficulties i had one of two options, get him home or sign him into care, now i am being told its not that easy as he has a voice and has to be heard but he wouldnt be eligible for any benefits etc as he has gotten himself into the situation yet i can not claim for him if he is not under my roof. It seems a catch 22 situation im not getting anywhere near sorting out.

BitterAndTwisted

This Social Services meeting that was being held this afternoon: have you received any contact from them about that yet?

stef240377

Nothing at all from Social Services. They just phoned this morning for an update on the situation, said there was an allocation meeting this afternoon where some police officers who deal with young offenders and the likes are present and i will get a call back to say who the case worker would be nothing solid on what we do as parents as a positive step to get him home.

BitterAndTwisted

So call them and ask them what their solution is

stef240377

Unfortunately after 5pm the office is only open for emergencies and as this is has been a referal that has been picked up and assessed it is not an emergency.