own home to homeless??

oldhand

Hi all,never thought id be seeking this sort of advice here but noone knows whats ahead I suppose.So from the start wifey told me last saturday shes leaving and taking our 2 kids with her,this came as a total surprise to me,she said its because "we argue all the time" but certainly in my eyes no more than any other couple.
She says theres noone else but the haste in which shes searching for a home to rent for her and the kids has me wondering but thats not why im seeking advice.
She found a home which will be privately rented and because she is not working rang the northern ireland housing executive to see if she would get housing benefit and herein lies the problem.
They asked her was her name on the mortgage along with mine and she said yes which it is and they told her sorry as you have capital (the house)over £6000 your not entitled to any help.Now the house was bought a few years back for £95,000 but with the collapse of the housing market is worth £76,000 now and we still owe £80,000 on it.
So she had the idea in her head we sell this house and then she will get housing benefit to help her rent.I tried to explain if we did that we will end up owing about £5000 to the bank and I will be homeless but it doesnt seem to register with her!,shes adamant we sell this house.So my question to anyone who can offer some advice is (a)can she force me to agree to sell this house which I love living in and leave me with thousands to pay off plus no home to live in? and (b) does the housing executive not take into consideration an "asset" which will be worth thousands less if sold?

warmhands.coldheart

First of all, have you seen a marriage guidance councillor, maybe it would be worht a go..

Do you work?
If you have an average salary, would you be able to pay the mortgae yourself? If so you could re-mortgage and pay the misses off her share... (mind you as it would be well over £6000, she still wouldn't be entitled to any HB..

What age are kids (young - teen or tenager would be sufficient)? Are the old enough to say who they want to live with?

Few things to consider if things can't be patched up.
If it's any way amicable, would you not be better letting her live in the house and you rent a smaller place (1 Bed) as I'd imagine this would work out cheaper all round.

Old_Git

contact CAB

getzls

You may be better posting on the house buying/selling section on the main forum. Say you are in N.Ire as things may be a bit different from G.B. Plus get ready to ignore some Gob Sh!te answers.

Witless

Maybe I'm missing the point but surely if her name is on the mortgage then half the negative equity is hers?

irishjohn

Most important factor today - do not rush into any action without seeking advice from the right place. Your wife has chosen to leave and take the children. If necessary then offer to have the children stay with you while she sorts herself out - in that way there will be less disruption for them and it would allow your wife to rent something small for herself while everything gets sorted.

Divorces do not happen overnight and if assets cannot be divided informally between you then the divorce lawyers will be the winners financially not you and not her.

Tell your wife you need time to come to terms with this, she has probably had some time to think about her plans so its only fair you should get that time too.

If she is not working then make sure she has access to whatever benefits you already get and if necessary offer her a small allowance to supplement it and then tell her that you will think things through, consult an expert, and see what proposal you can come up with. And in the meantime ask her what access she will be giving you to your children. Remain calm, do not get irate or emotional - you will sort it out better the more calm you remain.

oldhand

Witless wrote: »

Maybe I'm missing the point but surely if her name is on the mortgage then half the negative equity is hers?

You didnt miss the point,its what im trying (and failing) to get into her head,as I said in first post this came totally out of the blue and her only focus seems to be to get away from me and take the kids no matter what.Im sure many reading this will think "oh yes theres more to this than hes saying" but at least on my part there isnt.We are fairly well off and although I would joke about it on here I havnt had a drink in years and was never a drinker then so thats not a cause,nor do I gamble,I am just a very ordinary bloke who worked hard and provided the best I could for a wife and kids and was hoping to end my days in this house,the one thing I am sure of is I wont be the one moving and if she is able to force the sale of this house I will ensure she has her full share of the subsequent debt.

jadedson

I've no comment to make on the situation but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through this all...it's horrible...been there myself.

ridmat

Assuming the rules in Northern Ireland are the same as here in Wales your partner should be able to get housing benefit for at least 26 weeks without selling the house.

"If you have left the property after the breakdown of a relationship, and it is occupied by your former partner, its value may not be counted for the first 26 weeks after you left." - source

After this the council have to value the property and decide if there is any capital value.

As I say that's what happens here in Wales, so I hope its of some use to you.

ridmat

sorry posted twice

motorguy

take legal advice from a GOOD divorce solicitor.

There is no need for you to be screwed over but you will be if you dont get the right advice.

Also, look now into how much child maintenance you will have to pay and stick strictly to that from day one. Note that it drops by 1/7th for every day of every week you have the kids. Look up the CSA website.

I'd say you will have to pay her maintenance too as she is unemployed and you're not.

I certainly wouldnt knee jerk into selling the house just so she can claim benefits.

Finally, two things :-

Firstly, courts dont take into account whos in the right or wrong or whos 'fault' the breakup is, so there is no point in trying to pin blame on one another.

Secondly, you will at this stage feel inclined to give her whatever she asks for, particularly if you are harbouring a hope that she may well come back. If she is determined to leave, then you need to make sure you are paying her *only* what you have to - remember that every pound shes getting off you is a pound less you have to live on / spend with your kids.

When my first marriage split up, my soon to be ex wife held onto the marital home (a four bed detached bungalow with double garage) and kept her 2 seater sports car, and was taking me for £900 a month, whilst i lived in a rented council house in a rough estate and drove a banger - and she STILL bad mouthed me to everyone at every opportunity.

When i wised up, the house was sold, and i got my payments down to £400, then over time to £250, and then £0 when my son moved in with ME - all with the help of a GOOD solicitor.

Be prepared for a rough couple of years but it will all work out - and it wouldnt surprise me if there was someone else on the go there and comes out from under a stone down the line - she seems very determined all of a sudden.

I used Campbell and Haugheys in lurgan and the guy there at the time was excellent. You NEED someone who is proactive and knows what you are entitled to - not a paper pusher.

Sorry, and good luck.