Preparedness for when

GreyQueen

modern_millie wrote: »

Really interesting posts about intergenerational house holds and more communal living....I have a dilemma over moving house - our current house is quite large, we're likely to struggle as a couple with the garden, and also financially to heat and maintain the place as we grow older. However - DD is fond of the house, envisages coming back here after uni. We're in a small hamlet in West Wales.

T here is potential to make the house more ecofriendly, garden for veg and even space for a lodger or two if we wanted to go down that route.

But - we don't like our neighbours, shops and facilities are all a car ride away, public transport is poor. We both have insecure pt jobs, if we moved to the nearest town it wouldn't be economic for me to continue with mine. On the upside, one car could go, and transport is only going to get more expensive. We're in our mid-fifties, so finding another job could also be a major issue.

Thoughts, anyone?

I love the idea of a multi generational/co-supporting household, just don't know if it would ever happen, or if I have rose tinted glasses!

My thoughts would be to imagine what would happen if medical problems (probably but not necessarily eyesight-related) stopped either one or both of you from driving? This could happen overnight and might render a lifestyle which is currently pleasant deeply unpleasant and difficult.

Your daughter is a young adult just setting out in the world and, at her development stage, knowing that her childhood home is available as a fall-back position if it all goes wrong will be a great comfort. She made need to boomerang a time or two before successfully launching as an adult. She could return to a home that isn't the one you have now, of course, if there was sufficient space to stay.

Multigenerational households are the norm, historically in this country and in many parts of the world presently. Mr and Mrs and 2.4 children in their own little nest is abnormal. But it's something we've been raised to expect and it may be difficult for people who have expectations of their own homes to live as adult offspring with their own parents or their partner's parents.

From the other side of the equation, it may be difficult for older people to contemplate giving up their own privacy to accomodate their adult children and perhaps grandchildren. Or to give up their own homes altogether to live with the younger generation.

When travelling I met a chap who was spending the early part of his retirement travelling. His children were all married and settled in their own homes and he was amicably divorced from their mother. He had retained his home in the UK to have a base to return to and rented it out. Unfortunately, he had been cursed with a run of bad tenants.

He told me how when he and a son were sorting out the latest mess on one of his visits back to the UK, he was offered a chance to move in with son and family. He said something which I recall clearly; I was delighted but I never would have asked. There may be many others in the same situation, finding it hard to cope alone, missing regular contact with the younger family but feeling that they don't want to be a burden by asking.

I think it very much depends on the personalities involved. My uncle married a lady of British descent from elsewhere in Europe just after WW2. There was a housing crisis, then as now. On having met her MIL, she told him she'd live in one room with him anywhere, UK or her country, but she would not under any circumstances share a house with his mother. Grandma was a difficult lady and it was a sound judgement call (their marriage lasted 60+ years until his death).

If you choose to combine resources with other people by buying into, for example, a large country house, you need to think carefully about what would happen to your stake in event of relationship breakdown or death. I have some knowledge of a place where this happens (Mum has attended courses there). The buy-in was equal to what, at the time, would have bought you a decent family home. The building is superb but a money pit, each household whether a family unit, couple or singleton, has their own space and can choose to mix as much or as little as they wish.

It's not a panacea but for some people it may be a viable option, so long as you approach planning for this without rose-tinted spectacles.

I would be tempted to leave the hamlet and position myself on the edge of a market town of about 25-30,000 people, not too far from a good road network and with a train station if possible. Check where the nearest hospitals are and that there is ample GP coverage.

I'd go for a home which is on one level or which can, like Mrs LW's, be retro-fitted for groundfloor living and bathing without major disruptions. My parents' 3 bed terrace has an extra room build on the groundfloor, with room to take a double bed, and an en suite showeroom/ WC. Currently a home office but open to the potential of being a downstairs bedroom. It was done in case my grandparents needed/ wanted to live with us. Grandad has passed, Nan is still alive and living in her rented bungalow with a lot of family support but we couldn't really have her visit with us unless we had that downstairs WC as she couldn't handle getting to the only other one which is upstairs.

As always in life, a fully-functional crystal ball would be very helpful!

I have been to the lottie and got some more couch grass, horsetail and bindweed roots up and off to the tip. Gotta keep on keeping on, doing our bits and bobs.

pineapple

bluebag wrote: »

I lived a poor life as a child and have enjoyed 50 years of progress and development, I hope I can adapt and change to whatever challenges the future will bring. To say we live in interesting times is an understatement, we are living in truly once in a planet times.

Me too, though poor is relative. I can remember when a coal fire was the norm, a car was a luxury and you were well off if you had a TV! We have made huge technological advances in the past 50 years or so and the price of this technology, as a proportion of average wage, has even come down.
Those of us who have memories of this totally different time would probably find it easier to adapt than the 'entitled to' generation which has been brought up with expectations and which has never known anything different. They are going to feel cheated and I fear they will take it out on the nearest convenient targets.

7_week_wonder

Butterfly_Brain wrote: »

I have been playing with my new toy today (Kelly Kettle :D:D) and it is fab! I have managed to boil three kettles full of water and they have filled my four vacuum jugs (Reduced to £4.99 each in Aldi), so I have enough hot water for tea and coffee for 12 hours (That's how long the jugs hold the heat for) just think of all that leccie I have saved with just a couple of handfuls of dried twigs :j

Ooooh - this has brought me out of lurkdom! By strange coincidence OH and I decided to christen our kelly kettle yesterday but we didn't do as well as you. 1 hour, half a box of matches and a washing maching full of smokey clothes later we *finally* managed to make a pot of tea:o

Can you describe in idiot proof detail how you constructed and lit your fire in the stand bit - cos whatever we did it wasn't right! In fact - I'm seriously contemplating returning OH's boy scout woggle to his former troup leader: his fire-making skills were a disgrace to the scout movement:rotfl:

BitterAndTwisted

To be honest, from talking to young folks, many of them already feel cheated and really rather resentful. But that's here in London where a singleton on an average wage never had the expectation of being able to either live alone or buy on their own. Even back in the seventies buying on a single salary was the preserve of those with parents of means. Substantial means.

I was brought up with all the usual things: no central-heating, coal fire in the living-room. No fridge, no car, no telephone. Kitchen garden to make the weekly budget stretch. My first rented place when I left home at 18 was a shared bed-sit with a bathroom out on the landing. Feeding the gas and electricity meters was a challenge. Usually, by Thursday we had no money left before being paid in cash on Friday afternoon. Luckily my employer had a staff canteen where we could buy a two-course lunch for ten pence a day. The rest of the time we lived on toast. Happy days!

Paul_Varjak

If you get a BCB survival kit you will find that it contains cotton wool, and a fire steel to light fires with. Give it a go! If you have no success then use some petroleum jelly (Vaseline) on the cotton wool! That will burn plenty long enough to set your kindling alight!

The BCB kit also has a couple of tampons I think and you can use these to light fires too (just tear the tampon apart) Of course you need some water to cook with so the BCB kit also has a condom! Just fill up the condom at a stream, put it in a sock and carry back to camp!

The BCB tampon can also be used to plug bullet wounds!

GreyQueen

7_week_wonder wrote: »

Ooooh - this has brought me out of lurkdom! By strange coincidence OH and I decided to christen our kelly kettle yesterday but we didn't do as well as you. 1 hour, half a box of matches and a washing maching full of smokey clothes later we *finally* managed to make a pot of tea:o

Can you describe in idiot proof detail how you constructed and lit your fire in the stand bit - cos whatever we did it wasn't right! In fact - I'm seriously contemplating returning OH's boy scout woggle to his former troup leader: his fire-making skills were a disgrace to the scout movement:rotfl:

Evening. I've used Kelly Kettles several times following the example set by a pal; rip up some paper and twist it loosely, stuff into the hole on the side of the firebase (the bit like a pie dish which the kettle sits on) then light with a match. Starts quickly and burns fast, feed constantly with anything to hand; paper dried grass, little twigs and off she goes roaring like a good 'un.

Kelly Kettles seem to appeal to the big kid in a lot of people; you see lots of happy faces and to see one in action is to covet one.

7_week_wonder

GreyQueen wrote: »

Evening. I've used Kelly Kettles several times following the example set by a pal; rip up some paper and twist it loosely, stuff into the hole on the side of the firebase (the bit like a pie dish which the kettle sits on) then light with a match. Starts quickly and burns fast, feed constantly with anything to hand; paper dried grass, little twigs and off she goes roaring like a good 'un.

Kelly Kettles seem to appeal to the big kid in a lot of people; you see lots of happy faces and to see one in action is to covet one.

Hmm - I thought that was kind of what we did! Maybe we had too much stuff in the "pie dish". Did you feed down the chimney or through the side? We were so tempted to add some parafin but thought that was cheating: might have to dig out some vaseline though;)

Have to admit though the cup of tea we had when we finally got hot water was the best cup of tea we'd every had - and the scene in the kitchen later when OH (50 something and not the skinniest bloke on the block) decided to re-enact the old Levis in the launderette advert and remove all his smokey clothes straight into the washing machine just about made it worthwhile:rotfl:

maryb

We always hankered after moving further out but with working long hours in the City the suburbs were more practical. Now that I seem to be developing eyesight issues I have accepted it's not going to happen even now we are retired - a bus pass is no use if there are no buses.

But the bit of London we live in has lots of compensations - acres of National Trust countryside within 10 minutes walk and a good local shopping centre. Really good transport links, too. So even though I can see us downsizing in a few years, I think we will probably stay local. A lot depends on where the DDs end up. I would like to be close enough to them to be able to help - having worked full time when they were young I know how much difference it makes having someone to step in when childcare arrangements fall apart. I've told them it will make their lives much easier if they end up living close to each other rather than on opposite sides of London

GreyQueen

Poked the stuff thru the porthole in the side of the firebase. We only had a small amount of stuff in the base, very loose, and fed more in as required.

It was incredibly fast and roared and flames shot out the top. Pal did try dropping a coupla stems of long grass down the chimney bit but honestly this wasn't necessary and was a bit hazardous.

Love the image of Mr 7WW wonder doing a Nick Kamen. Glad you enjoyed your cuppa.

ginnyknit

We did the whole 'moving to the countryside 'thing when we were young but luckily it fell through - literally, the bedroom fell through to the living room:eek: it was a lovely cottage with everything we wanted but did notice when you stood in the bedroom you felt slightly odd because the floor dipped...and boy did it dip later. Luckily before we bought it. then I found out I was pregnant and had a very difficult and dangerous pregnancy and would have been to far from a hospital if we had moved. Blessings all round. We tried many times after that but nothing seemed to work out.

Nowadays I still hanker after a move and in my plans for the worst case scenario intend to find a caravan near Morecambe where I can live out my days whilst popping back and forth to kidnap DGS when he is off school. Hopefully I would find a job that pays the rent whilst giving me time to do my own thing - well a girl (middle aged woman) has to plan.

I want a kelly kettle