Preparedness for when

GreyQueen

Cheapskate wrote: »

GQ, thanks for the spud and onion sources, will investigate this week. "Hard working families" is shorthand for hubbie and wifey both having to work to make ends meet, and having latch key kids or sending them to some sort of childcare. As I don't work outside the home for filthy lucre at the mo, being a stay at home mum, my contribution (attempting to raise decent kids, cook properly, make do and mend, etc.) isn't counted economically, therefore I presume I'm a lazy mare! :rotfl:

A xo

I very much doubt the laziness aspect. I was raised by a SAHM until I was 9 and brother was 7, then she went into part-time work at the factory at the end of the road, then eventually into full-time factory work. Mum was perfectly happy as SAHM and still thinks it terrible that mothers of young kids are expected to be in the workforce.

Sadly, for us as a family with two triffid-like growing kids, it was financial necessity. It wasn't that we wanted a lot of consumer durables or foriegn holidays, just to keep the bills paid and shoes on our feet.

I feel very sorry for my colleagues who are back at work 3 days a week as soon as their maternity leave runs out. It's not nice to leave the babies behind but there isn't enough money in the household budget to do it any other way (babies are mostly with family not in paid care).

[Deleted User]

Totally agree GQ provide as much by your own efforts as it is possible to provide. The only thing that bothers me about relying on home grown crops from the lottie is that they are likely to be lovingly cultivated by you and possibly harvested by someone elso who has watched you do all the work, really up the creek stuff then eh? Our allottment area has deer fencing round it but no security to prevent human access other than a rickety old 5 bar gate and we have had theft in the past. When it's just someone taking a few things to feed a family I don't mind too much but we've had lorries backed in and whole high value crops taken entirely, things like strawberries and blackcurrants have just dissapeared overnight. I'm going to try to only leave things standing down there that would be more fuss to lift as a crop than they are worth, like parsnips, difficult and time consuming to dig and although we eat them probably too small to sell on elsewhere. The rest will be grown in the garden beds and the polytunnel and greenhouse and as much as is physically possible processed and preserved. I'll always be prepared to share with others who really have need of food but those greedy blighters who want to sell on, not a chance!!!

Karmacat

Absolutely, Mrs LW - drives me crazy that people get away with stealing from lotties

GQ, thanks for the tip on what we need *now* - I've just not done much before, though I keep wanting to, and I was looking at onion sets in our Poundland yesterday - I do worry about planting them out in clay soil in this weather, but then I have a couple of those bag things that you plant potatoes in, and it will get as high as you like... must do more!

ArthriticOldThing

Morning everyone. By its cold outside today. I am frozen and have only been on balcony to hang washing! :eek:


Am having to live on my supplies at the moment as arthritic flare up has had me confined to house for a few days and probably more. This really what I prep for - am sometimes unable to get out for weeks :eek::eek:

VJsmum

GreyQueen wrote: »

It's not nice to leave the babies behind but there isn't enough money in the household budget to do it any other way (babies are mostly with family not in paid care).

Just before I put this, I will say that I am not having a go at GQ, it's just a handy quote, but I would like to put a word in for the working mum - who doesn't really have to do it out of financial necessity and who did put her kids into paid care :eek: .

I had my daughter and within a few months was crawling the walls with boredom. Babies are lovely, but boring. Hardwork, but boring. I had no family around, my MiL still worked and my own family were at the other end of the country. Friends - even those with babies - were at work at least part of the time. I was beside myself. I signed up to do a teaching qualification one evening a week, but was still out of my mind - I think I had PND and PTSD (it was a difficult birth). I had opportunity to return to work for 2 days a week as a teacher in an FE college and I jumped at it. V was 4 months old. Yes, I felt like my arm had been cut off when I first left her but we both got used to it (though she didn't have to - she was fine from the start).

I planned the second child around the long summer break - as much as these things can be - and it worked. He was born in March and I went back in September. We have never really "needed" the money I earn - it is holiday and treat money - but I simply couldn't stay at home.

YOu know what? My kids have not been harmed one jot. They are nearly 18 and nearly 15, normal, balanced, sociable (well - ish in the case of the 15 year old, but he'll grow out of it :rotfl:) and independent. THe paid care, mainly childminders and mainly only one who we had for 10 years, did things with my kids that I was incapable of - arty things, sporty things, and interaction with other kids from an early age (babies) that they would never have had if either I'd been a SAHM or they'd gone to grannies to look after.

As I said, it isn't to have a go at anyone, and everyone is different and in different circumstances. But, anyone reading who thinks it's bad to want go to work and leave your kids - no it isn't, they will be fine. In fact the only children in my aquaintance (think that's spelt wrong) who had a SAHM are rather mummy's boy ish who are too afraid to go anywhere without her - and they are 15!!

THough now, I rather like the idea of being a SAHM!

On another note - this bankers business is disturbing.

maryb

VJsmum, I had to go back to work soon after my maternity pay ran out - and in those days you only got paid for the equivalent of 6 weeks. savings padded it out a bit longer but I had no choice after that. They were fine. They loved their childminder (same one looked after both) and I felt happy leaving them with her but Oh! it still hurt soo much.

But our circumstances changed and I was able to retire early and before that to cut down my hours. I honestly feel I made more difference to them being around when they were older. With teenagers it's very much catch the moment. They will tell you things if you are there on the spot but then the moment passes. And they are under so much peer pressure it's nice to be able to oppose some gentle pressure to counter it.

I would have loved to be a SAHM all the time though. But that's me and I don't think everyone has to be the same. What I do want for my girls is for them to have a choice if possible and if they don't have a choice I'd like to be able to help them and take as much of the burden off as possible

mardatha

I think that what GQ meant, and what I feel too, is that it's nice to have the choice.

maryb

Things are getting better - 20 years ago if you went back you had to go back full time, there was very little flexibility compared with now.

VJsmum

mardatha wrote: »

I think that what GQ meant, and what I feel too, is that it's nice to have the choice.

That's why I said I wasn't having a go.

I agree, we are all different. I also agree that I think they need me more now, so many things to deal with as teenagers.

And whilst I was fortunate enough to have a choice financially, mentally I simply didnt. I would have been certified I think. They don't do antenatal classes to help you cope with the mind blowing boringness of it, regrettably. I remember kathy Lette saying she watched her plants photosynthesise :rotfl:

I feel very sorry for those forced To work full time if they don't want to. The great thing about my job is that I can work part time and incredibly flexibly - when not actually teaching I am able to work at home, or evenings and weekends if I need the days free. I am off to a uni interview in Cardiff with DD on Friday but, mobile devices willing, I will take the marking with me and get five hours done n the train. Not many are so fortunate, I know

[Deleted User]

Just realised I posted on the doorstep thread what I should have posted here. I was lucky enough to be able to be a SAHM, we took the decision to do so as my maternity leave finished for DD1 and reviewed our lifestyle and learned how to be frugal. DD2 came along 5 years later just as DD1 started school so we decided I would stay home for her too. As she started school I worked as a dinner lady to enable me to be there in the mornings and also do the afternoon school pick up. When DD2 decided on medicine I got an almost full time job in a local chemist shop and had the 5 years worth of fees in the bank before she went to uni, peace of mind for me. I now fill my days doing what I enjoy and living an OS lifestyle with all that entails. I've been very lucky to be able to stay home and can honestly say I'm not and never have been bored and thoroughly enjoy all the frugal things that give us the life we have, Lyn xxx.