Does anyone else feel miserable being skint all the time?

mrsrwallace

hi
at the start I was constanty miserable about the debt situation, we had gone from being able to afford our loans etc but then the SHTF and job loss meant we were hammered. So I was always fed up going to work and having no life outside of it, I work to pay debts and that's all I seem to do. There has been no fun in my life for the last few years but I have now accepted that is the way it has to be to get this paid. I enjoy the simple pleasures of reading a free book from the library or listening to music on the radio or walking the dog and getting fresh air and having the occasional but very rare alcoholic beverage No restaurants, no nice clothes, no holidays, no spontaneous trips to the cinema or hairdresser. All gone. But I'll get over it!!

Bufger

marmiterulesok wrote: »

These people might be up to their eyeballs in debt!You just don't know...

At least you've had your LBM and are doing something about it.

Can you aside some money every month for 'treats'?

When i see someone in a new car or with a new iPhone, iPad or with anything I want I actually kid myself that they are in debt for it so i'm in a better position than them. Alot of the time its true too! Like my friend who just got an Audi A5 on finance with a tiny deposit - yeah it looks great but when he wants something new in 4 years time and hes still paying that one off it'll hurt. Especially if he ever bothers to work out how much he actually paid for it

Pennywise2012

Pink-Angel wrote: »

For me it isn't so much not going out and buying things, more the effects it has on my social life. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a party animal, it's just I live alone and it would be nice to get out more. Most of my friends are married and I belong to a social group, but can't afford to do much with them. I'm also single and can't really afford to date, which is pretty depressing as I do feel lonely sometimes. If you're in this with a partner it's no easier of course, but at least you have someone to stay in and watch with TV with.

This is EXACTLY how I feel at the moment! My reasons for being skint are slightly different (bankrupt and on ESA), but the effect is the same. At first, it was almost exciting - budgeting, bargain hunting, meal planning etc, but it wears thin after a while. I feel like I'll be single forever, because I'm such a poor catch! I know things will get better for me, and I won't be skint forever, and I have lots to be grateful for, and my value as a person isn't measured by my bank balance - but yeah, it's VERY miserable and lonely sometimes!

Sending hugs to all the other miseries! xx

littlemissbossy

When I met my hubby over 20 years ago he was in a lot of debt, to cut a very long story short we paid off all the debt and started again saving to get a house.

Unfortunately my hubby hadn't told me the full debt situation and a few years later the debt collector letters started arriving again. We cleared the debt again, luckily we managed to keep our home but literally had nothing, everything went on clearing the debt.

I remember being at my lowest and my mum telling me we would get through it and happy times wouldn't be far away for us and she was right. Now, we are back in the black, mortgage paid off and money for holidays. I really appreciate what we have as I know what its like to have literally nothing.

marmiterulesok

natlie wrote: »

My friends are very boastful money wise - I know they are probably getting in debt but I hate talking about money and it has distanced me from some of my friends - one in particular just paid for a £3000 holiday a £50,000 extention on house and a £5000 car in the same month. MIL just bought a £14k convertible mercedes and then spent £1300 on it in services, faults etc

I'm sure that your friend hasn't got £58 000 to pay this off outright.I wonder how long it'll take to pay off.

It's a shame that being saddled with more debt is something to boast about.

At least you know better.:)

YORKSHIRELASS

I am sure there cant be many people struggling to clear their debts who dont have a moment of feeling sorry for themselves now and again. Even when the lightbulb is still glowing brightly and you know you are doing the right thing.

I was standing next to someone rabbitting on and on about their fantastic holiday in Turkey the other day and yes I was jealous. I struggle to enjoy treats any more because I think I should be paying money off the credit card instead. I know there is a happy medium somewhere but its kind of all or nothing for me.

supersavershal

From my avatar you can see I joined this site in 2007 and I was looking at a minimum of 10yrs before I would be close to debt free.It seemed such a long, miserable struggle, now im 5 yrs in and am looking towards becoming debt free in 3 years time, that is down to being promoted and paying some small debts off leaving more money to pay the big ones.
I probably could have paid more and become debt free much earlier but I still struggle not to spend especially when Im having a low day.
Ive had lots of family struggles that have got me down and ive given in and bought things to make me feel better.
But im not as bad as I used to be and the "things" are bought with cash these days and not credit, although I acknowledge that cash could go towards my debts. I pay over a £1000 a month to debt imagine what I could do with that money.
Some days Im really happy and in a "ive seen the light mood" and others I feel low, and in a "how the hell did I get to this" mood. I want to move house but I dont want to move and take debt with me so I know we are stuck here for now, but its not so bad its nearly mine its big enough and its a decent roof over my head.
My car is old, its too big for me but I want to wait until I can buy a decent nearly new one.
I havnt had a holiday this year, I will be having one next year, I will work two extra shifts a month to pay for it. Lifes not too bad there are plenty worse off than me and its not their fault they got into debt, mine is totally my own fault.

megan01

Psychologically, you need to have a goal, which isn't to do with money. It will detract away from your constant focus on bringing this debt down, and give you something else to work on.

Can you focus on getting fit? Or incorporating a healthier lifestyle into your life? There are so many communities you can get involved in to do with fitness and health and cost free!

Eventually when you are debt free, you can start putting aside a little bit of money a month towards a goal you want to achieve ( ever wanted to backpack for 3 weeks across America?) .

Its all about goals. Everyone constantly needs to have goals in all aspects of their lives to find the drive to keep going.