Does anyone else feel miserable being skint all the time?

Pink-Angel

It's such a relief to know others are feelings the same. I'm 18 months into my DMP. To start off with it was a relief but now I'm finding it hard.

For me it isn't so much not going out and buying things, more the effects it has on my social life. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a party animal, it's just I live alone and it would be nice to get out more. Most of my friends are married and I belong to a social group, but can't afford to do much with them. I'm also single and can't really afford to date, which is pretty depressing as I do feel lonely sometimes. If you're in this with a partner it's no easier of course, but at least you have someone to stay in and watch with TV with.

So I'm also going through a phase of feeling a bit down about lack of money. I've been going through my things to see what I can sell (ebay etc) to make a little extra cash as I don't have much left over with my DMP. It helps a little because then I feel I'm doing something positive.

OrangeMikey

For a social life outside work I ended up volunteering. I've made some good friends this way. If you're going to try this do pick something that won't cause more expense though. I was worried about being CRB (criminal record bureau) checked, but am glad to say they do only check for criminal history so not an issue.

It's also now part of the new me that I've been enjoying it so much, that it is staying even though there are starting to be pennies again.

The other thing I enjoyed doing if anyone else has one left near them is rejoining the local library.

natlie

Its horrible being skint all the time

I was managing my debt ok until DH got sick and finished work now I support all 5 of us with 2 jobs, but my second job i dont enjoy that much its exhausting.

In Feb my mortgage fixed rate ends - we fixed on 5.59% before the ec. downturn it will help us a lot!

My friends are very boastful money wise - I know they are probably getting in debt but I hate talking about money and it has distanced me from some of my friends - one in particular just paid for a £3000 holiday a £50,000 extention on house and a £5000 car in the same month. MIL just bought a £14k convertible mercedes and then spent £1300 on it in services, faults etc

knowing that this isnt a permanent situation is the only thing that makes it better really

ms_london

Shark wrote: »

You had your glory days of living a life you could not afford and maybe you made others feel rotten when you bought stuff they wanted.
Now you have a few years of pain to pay back the debt, this luckily for you is a lesson not to burden yourself with these debts in the future and live within your means.

Sorry to sound harsh, but just an outsider looking in point of view.

As someone who used to owe £19,000 but paid it back after a long hard slog, I agree with what you say. I run up my debt by just spending waaaaaay above my means and spending like I had won the lottery...

However some people are in debt for other reasons, through no fault of their own.

ms_london

bluebag wrote: »

It's a long time ago I became debt free. It was probably the most difficult period of my life.

I did get very down about it, as you all say when other people were living it large and I was counting the pennies.

I knew I had to change that or I would be back where I was buried in debt in no time. I had to change my way of thinking completely.

I now know that having things and spending money isn't the best thing in life. Enjoying what I have, however little is how I think of it today. I feel happy I have enough food to eat, a roof over my head, warm clothes and a loving family.

Anything else is a bonus, I am happy with anything extra however little it may be as long as I own it outright and It's legal.

I don't envy anyone, I have my own path to tread, they have theirs. I take my joy in being alive each day and being thankful that I have what I have.
Most of all I have peace of mind.

Completely agree with everything you've said. Comparing yourselves to others, whether that's in terms of money or appearance or anything, is going to make you miserable but not get you anywhere, it has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

For those of you all on this thread, keep it up, the lessons you learn while being in debt will put you in good stead for the rest of your life. After I was debt free I saved £10,000 to o travelling and have recently saved the same to buy my own flat. Certainly not bragging, and it wasn't easy, especially when working two jobs, but the end result has been worth it and I am a million times happier now than even when I was running up the debt in the first place.

I've gone a bit too far the other way and am a bit of a minimalist, I value experiences more than I do material possessions, but that's just me.

Xx

determined_new_ms

ms_london wrote: »

I've gone a bit too far the other way and am a bit of a minimalist, I value experiences more than I do material possessions, but that's just me.

Xx

this is exactly where I am now, things don't seem so important, and where they are I look to get them at a fraction of the price. However I have no qualms with paying for a holiday if I can afford it!

ms_london

determined_new_ms wrote: »

this is exactly where I am now, things don't seem so important, and where they are I look to get them at a fraction of the price. However I have no qualms with paying for a holiday if I can afford it!

:rotfl: I am very much the same about holidays.... You just have to decide what's important to you don't you..

OrangeMikey

ms_london wrote: »

:rotfl: I am very much the same about holidays.... You just have to decide what's important to you don't you..

I renewed my old ways and started going camping again. Camping and using coaches instead of trains meant I could at least afford to get away without spending much at all.

ms_london

OrangeMikey wrote: »

I renewed my old ways and started going camping again. Camping and using coaches instead of trains meant I could at least afford to get away without spending much at all.

See I love camping, but a lot of my girlie friends hate it!! :eek:

OrangeMikey

ms_london wrote: »

but a lot of my girlie friends hate it!! :eek:

They must be doing it wrong! :shocked:

Yeah I will admit not all of my friend were up for camping either, but I convinced enough of them to make a few trips worth while.