Advice Regarding Teenage Son

Johnny-Cage

I have 2 boys from a ex partner aged 9 and 13 and have shared residency from the courts.

My eldest who is 14 in October and is mature and sensible for his age is asking to live with me full time.

I do work shifts and when i am on a nightshift he would stay at his grandmas but i have a shift where i have to work 6pm to 10pm

he is asking can he stay at home alone for the 4hrs when i am on this shift

he knows what to do in a emergencies and has been left on his own for a hour or 2 if i have gone shopping etc and not to touch the oven etc and not to answer the door go out and to ring me for anything

i have very good neighbours and he knows to pop nextdoor if something ever happened

just looking for advice regarding leaving him during these 4 hrs because i dont wanna get in any trouble with the law etc

thank you

Darren

thatgirlsam

Personally I would be fine with it. My 12 year old (extremely sensible) is left for a few hours in the evening occasionally.

Like you, my neighbour keeps an eye on.

Gigglepig

Would you ex partner be ok with this arrangement?

The two of you know your son best, many kids would be sensible enough but perhaps not all.

newcook

I'd be fine with it too - I was babysitting at that age!

I'd possibly start getting him used to using the cooker though - even if its so he can do himself some oven chips.
by 14 I was using the iron, cooker, vaccuum etc. I'd even make extra pennies when babysitting and do a spot of ironing once the kids were asleep!

peachyprice

Depending on the child I would be fine with it and you say he's sensible and trustworthy.

You'll be there at the important times, when he gets in from school, dinner time and before he goes to bed. By the time he's done his homework, watched some TV, played a bit of x-box/playstation/wii, had an evening snack (as most teenage boys do ) you'll be home.

You won't get in trouble with the law as long as you're not leaving him in a dangerous situation as there is no minimum legal age for a child to be left alone.

Tropez

You won't get in trouble with the law. The law does not set a minimum age for someone to be left alone only that you cannot leave someone alone who may be at risk. At 14, an average, healthy teenager will know not to drink bleach, turn on the hob, play with matches etc. and so there is no legal restriction to leaving him alone.

I think, providing that everyone is okay with the arrangement, that it would be a good thing as it will help him start to feel independent and mature, as well as give you an idea of how he is developing, such as managing to do his homework and any chores unsupervised and such.

Johnny-Cage

Gigglepig wrote: »

Would you ex partner be ok with this arrangement?

no she probably wont but he doesn't get on very well with his mum and doesnt want to go to hers

one reason i want to make sure i arent doing something against the law if i left him for 4 hrs

Okydoky25

I'm sure loads has change since I was 14 (now 32) but I was left on my own at that age. I travelled to school 5 miles away and could cook my own meal if I needed. I babysat baby's in the evening for longer than 4 hours. If you think he's mature than I'm sure it will be fine.

Johnny-Cage

thank you all for the replies really helpful advice

weepingtree

I think its more than Ok for your 14 year old to stay home for a few hours on his own. And a big plus he will be sooooo pleased that you trust him and respect him enough to allow him to.

dragonette

At 14 I'm sure it would be fine, maybe make part of the agreement that he learns how to do several household chores? And ask him to do whichever is the most pressing while you're at work (tho no point asking for anything that will take up too much of the 4 hours!). Make life easier for all of you, allows him some freedom and responsibility and any future girlfriends will be eternally grateful!!