For Parents With 3 Or More Children

tigerstriper_2

I just want to pick the brains of people who have 3 or more children. Dh and I are in a solid relationship with 2 young children, the youngest will start school next year, and I really want to try for a 3rd child when he starts. Dh is happy to go by my decision - yes he would like another but will be fine if I decide not to - it's my choice with his blessing and support either way, my choice as it's my body, my hormones etc.

For those who have more than 2 children, how was the transition to 3; financially, practically, emotionally etc? Did you notice much difference?

PinkLipgloss

Very similar thread recently:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4057689

jackieb

When we had 2 I remembered how easy it was when we only had 1. When we had 3 I remembered how easy it was when we only had 2. When we had 4 I remembered how easy it was when we only had 3.

The only real difference we noticed financially when they were little was that we needed a bigger car. When they grew up a bit we needed a bigger house.

kingfisherblue

I'm probably not the best person to answer, but here goes!

My daughter was almost 7 when my first son was born. We wanted a bit of a gap, but it was a bit longer than planned. Our son was born with severe disabilities. Our second son was born nineteen months later.

My children are now 21, 14 and 12.

Financially we took a bit of a hit. I had returned to work part time after my daughter was born, and again ofter my first son was born. However, when the youngest came along, I finished work. My mum and dad used to look after the kids two days a week and my husband one day, whilst I worked (my now ex husband worked Monday to Friday, one of my work days was Saturday). My dad started to show signs of dementia whilst I was pregnant with my youngest, and I couldn't expect my mum to look after two babies as well as get my daughter to and from school twice a week. in addition, I was struggling with work as my first son's needs were so great - my days off were spent going to hospital and clinic appointments, and as my son had numerous night time needs, I was exhausted.

I cried when I gave up work - I'd been at the same place since I was a Saturday girl, and I loved my job. I'm now a single mum and my son's needs have increased, so i haven't been able to return to work.

On a practical note, having two younger sons meant that sorting out bedrooms was easy - my daughter has the box room in our three bedroom semi. In the car, it was awkward with three car seats, and now that they are adults, they don't have much room if they all have to sit in the back seat of the car (made easier now my daughter drives as well).

If it had been practical, I would have loved another child, but realistically we couldn't afford another. It would have been difficult regarding bedrooms and we would have had to get a larger car. As it turned out, maybe it was for the best that I didn't have a fourth child, as my ex left me for someone else. He has his fourth child now, though. On the other hand, he only sees our children once a week and I spend much more time with them.

It sounds as though you both want a third child, but whatever you decide, i wish you well x

Gigervamp

I had my 3rd when my eldest 2 were 8 and 6 and I found it easy enough. I was also a childminder at the time though, so maybe it was because I was used to having more children around the place!

the_becoming

I had my third when my others were 6 and 4, easy enough at the time! Now they are 14, 12 and nearly 8 and all in different schools (eldest 2 in single sex grammars) and its all a bit more difficult - school run 16 miles each time. But thats just logistics, wouldn't change a thing Practically its a little more complicated, financially not that much different, emotionally def worthwhile - he is universally adored by all (ie spoilt rotten!!)
I thought long and hard about having a third (I always "planned" 2, boy and girl which I had) but I cant imagine ever regretting a child.
If you are all in agreement, I can't see any reason why not

ross007

Going from 2 to 3 was easier then 1 to 2!

Redouble

For me 1-2 was easy, I have 2 arms, a family of 4 is the social 'norm' (family passes etc are for 2 adults 2 children)
2-3 was a big shock, and I found it very hard.
Does that mean you will? Nope. We all cope differently, same with finances - put 2 people on the same wage one will think it's more than plenty, The other will struggle and get into debt.

Can you 'afford' another (again this is subjective so only you can answer for yourself) and do you want another child? (eg I'd love another baby but don't want anymore children!! I wish they didn't grow so fast )
And if yes and obviously your partner feels the same then you have your decision.

Best wishes xx

midnightraven3

i am another who found going from 1 - 2 harder than 2-3
my oldest was 3, middle 16 months when the 3rd was born
3rd one just slotted into the family no problem

we were already in a house big enough, well, the 2 girls shared so son had a room of his own
when son was 3 moved to a 4 bedroom house
more for extra bathrooms than anything else
we got a 7 seater (much to OHs dismay) but it was practical

the only time i really noticed the expense was school trips
having 3 so close together, and trips costing £500 +
of course we could have said no

now all 3 are at uni
looking back? i wouldnt have done it any differently
(except maybe had 1 more!:o)

Wyre

I have 4 - 19, 15 13 and 10. I found going from 2 to 3 was easier 3 to 4 but then when I had my 4th hubby had just started a new job with better money but awful hours meaning he wasn't there to give me support I needed at the time.

Cars were and are the biggest expense, needing one big enough for car seats/booster cushions and to take the whole family out or away on holiday.

We had to re-organise the house too as we couldn't afford to move - the 3 girls share the master bedroom, our lad has the small room and we have the middle room.

In some ways it has gotten harder as they got older and went to different schools - different times to get there, clashes with parents evenings/sports days/after school activities but you learn to get by. A school year diary running September to August is easier than a normal one for me!

Organised chaos is probably how I would describe our house but I love it and wouldn't change a thing.