make do and mend for tougher times

Popperwell

It's also the fact that to some extent when Mum and myself were together we were doing reasonably ok and cushioned from the nasty side of life but when something like this happens, you are suddenly thrown into situations that you have not had to face before but we are all having our own personal worries to deal with and most are coming from outside and are out of our control.

I'm going to have a coffee or hot chocolate and a biscuit. I'm starting to feel more accepting and settled again...I forget who said it but you can only panic or feel upset for so long and it will pass.

Popperwell

It's strange how I often hear of shops for the first time when they are in trouble or closing...Julian Graves is another one of them. Sadly it hasn't made a profit for four years.

prepareathome

Pops we would not be human if we didn't have our 'what ifs' it normal and natural, but you know you did the best you could for your mum.......xxxxx

SpikyHedgehog

Popperwell wrote: »

Spiky,

It doesn't make things better but I can quite understand why you feel as you do. And I bet there are plenty out there going through exactly the same scenario...:(

That goes for you too Pips Mum, wish it wasn't so but sadly we know that it is...wishing you well,

It's good to share...

Thank you, Pops, there are just so many people going through such stress at the moment.

Mrs_Chip wrote: »

Spikey - Are there no sanctions you use to persuade DS1 to be a bit more helpful - removal of gaming equip or withdrawal of pocket money - I would have got a right larraping for not bringing the washing in, but I know things are somewhat different these days . But really not fair you should be feeling so rotten and not getting help you need around the house.

I've put parental controls on to limit his laptop time, & he's been very apologetic... I've explained what I'm worried about & given worst case scenarios, & he's promised to pull his finger out. When I left school, I did loads, but mum was actually home to say ' get out of bed NOW! - DS2 & I leave just before 8, &i can't drag DS1 out of bed anymore so if he's mumbling 'm gettin up', I've been accepting that. He's promised to get up tomorrow, we'll see. He knows he'll have no money for his motorbike if he's not helping, & theres no jobs round here for him...

prepareathome

Its true pops a panic or upset will eventually burn itself out although might not seem possible but it does I know, you are grieving and its very early days, soon the better days remembering the good times will come more and more and the what if days less and less.

hugsxxxxx

SpikyHedgehog

monnagran wrote: »

May I join you? It's taken me days to read all your posts and I've finally caught up.

Some of your stories horrify me and how you are surviving I can't imagine.
I'm fortunate in being old enough (over old enough if we are being honest) to be getting my state pension. It's hardly a fortune but at least it turns up regularly every 4 weeks. There should have been a private pension as well but that sort of shrank until it was almost invisible and it's no longer worth their sending it every month so I get a miniscule amount every quarter.
I share a house with a friend and the house goes with her job, which is a blessing. I do have a house and my DS2 is living in that with his family. So you see I am very, very fortunate.

However, I still have to watch the pennies but that is nothing new. I was born before the war (told you I was old) and grew up with rationing and austerity. During the early 70s I was bringing up 2 small children and had a husband who thought I was wildly extravagant if I bought a packet of soap powder - I should have been down at the river bashing our washing on a stone. Then I
was a single parent bringing up teenagers.
That is my background and I have stretched every penny until it screamed in protest all my life. Those are my credentials.

I now help in a church-run Drop-in centre for those in need. Not just the homeless but sofa surfers, people who have a flat or bedsit but have to chose between electricity and food, or people who have just reached the end of their tether.
The Benefits system stinks. It makes my blood boil when the benefits are suddenly stopped for no reason and not started up again for a couple of months or someone answers the door to the bailiffs because their housing benefit had been stopped and the rent not paid for 3 months and they had not been told,( he was told that THEY had no obligation to tell him anything.)
Some officials are quite good but I think some are power-crazy and seem to delight in humiliating their clients.

That's enough ranting for now.

My DS1 wet the bed until he was 13, poor love. I took the boys away for a camping holiday and broke the news that I was divorcing their father. DS1 never wet the bed again. I'm not advocating divorce as a cure for bed-wetting but it worked for us.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Its a radical 1, but if it works! DS2 hasn't been worse since Errant Husband left us last year, but it hasn't helped. When he sleeps over there as he has done on 4 occasions now, EH still gets him to wear a pull up as the girlfriend doesn't want to have to wash sheets. Well, I understand not wanting to wash them, I don't get up & think ' ooh, hope DS2's wet the bed, I'd just love to strip his bed before work', but I'd have more sympathy if she hadn't had 3 children of her own, & if she did more with her time. But I am biassed...

Pops, you make me feel bad for my wobble now, as my stuff is trivial in comparison... You did all you could, & your mum knew that.

I did eat dinner last night, & suspect it might have been the 2nd time since sunday I'd actually eaten in the evening... I did feel better after. So take note, & make sure you eat well!

meme30

Popperwell wrote: »

It's serious ...no wonder many of us are going to the Dr for AD's...I haven't yet. There's another cost I have forgotten to add into future costs for me. Paying of prescription drugs that I have to take, no choice(approx £50 a month)even if you buy a pre prescription certificate you still have to find £100 annually.

Your mention of wellingtons has reminded me to put them back on my list of things to buy...whilst I can...

Popperwell:- I use a prepaid prescription cert. I pay £10 a month over ten months, it's a huge saving for me. Have a look on-line http://www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/1127.aspx

Pipsmum:- Sorry to hear about your troubles. Have a look at CCCS, if you ring them they may be able to help you negotiate lower payments to your other creditors until you and DH are working again. They are a free service and lovely people to talk to. They have helped us in the past when we have struggled. Their main aim is to help people stay in their own homes, a huge worry for many at the moment

mardatha

Such lovely strong sensible people in here - you are such a help in hard times. Like the old days , the people help the people. I love that
Between this thread and my other mediumy forum I have such amazing online friends - makes up for the fact that I rarely get out .
GQ don't overdo it pet, or the ME will crawl out of the woodwork and bite you!

VJsmum

ffion wrote: »

Please can anyone tell me where I can get pull on trousers made.my son is confined to a wheelchair and have lost the lady who use to make his trousers he is small under 5 foot and it only takes 1 metre of 60 inches,no zips no buttons just elastic waist so he can pull up with one hand.i have tried everywhere local with no luck.
I tried an online site for disabled people and the trousers start at around 45 pound,any suggestions anyone.would be grateful for any information.thanks sorry may have put this on wrong site I am new to this

Another vote for tracky bottom type trousers. They do all sorts now. My DS (13) lives in them because they are easy and he is lazy! Matalan do quite a good range (they aren't all that fleecey material) as do sports direct. Some do 3/4 ones so you may not have to take them up.

Popperwell, there is a well known link between blood sugar and depression, so if you aren't eating properly then that could be a reason you felt down. Of course it is also early days. I lost my mum over 2 years ago, I have a husband a job and 2 kids to keep my mind busy and I still have wobbles and some "what if's". But i do feel that I owe it to my mum to carry on, she expected it of me (and my siblings) because that is what she did. Just typing that has brought the tears, so don't be concerned that what you feel is abnormal. i don't think I will ever get any more "over it" than I have - I will just get more used to it.

Well, what an awful night I've had. TOnsilitis is awful and so I went to bed early, woke up at 1.30 in dreadful pain - everywhere. Took paracetomol and brufen but it still took over an hour to kick in. Hot and sweaty, aching all over. I am off to the United States TOMORROW :eek: so I have to carry on as I've still tons to do. I shall keep taking the antibiotics, though I rather fear my tonsilitis is viral rather than bacterial given the other symptoms. I am taking painkillers palliatively, which isn't like me, but I haven't got a spare hour to wait whilst they kick in.

DS finishes school at 1.00 today and then is off for 6.5 weeks :T I don't know why people dread the school holidays - I love them. I always dread them going back. We are in the states for 3 weeks and then will be gearing up for the dreaded GCSE results (not that dreaded, DD should get more than she needs for 6th form).

Ah well, best get on. Chins up people and don't let the barstewards get you down.

Uniscots97

dragonette wrote: »

Possession - the strawberries can be split from runners to get plants. Not convinced by the rest. I've only known them grown from seed.

I would love to grow produce, sadly I'm in a first floor flat with a garden we can't do much with as its all drying green. My peppers all failed and I have 1 plus 1 tom plant from my mum.

Any suggestions as to what I could grow/organise myself for growing my own? I think the local allotments are totally full with waiting lists

Peppers can be hard to grow Dragonette, your tomato plant should do well indoors. Just make sure its in a big enough pot and give it plenty of light, keep it in a warm sunny room and away from draughts. You could grow herbs, chillis (I grow my chillis in the kitchen, they love the heat in there and I usually get about 40 chillis each year from it), snip and grow salad leaves (just snip off what you need and it grows back). All these could be grown easily in a flat. Do you have a veranda area or window boxes?