make do and mend for tougher times

Popperwell

Possession wrote: »

Going away tomorrow for a week to my parents, might get online a bit as taking the laptop.

That's got to do you good seeing loved one's and the change of scenery too,

Safe journey...

[Deleted User]

POPPERWELL - you did everything you could for your Mum and she will have known it, you could not change the inevitable, but she will have sensed the love and care that you gave her and I'm sure that it would have made her ending easier. You couldn't change the end of her life, couldn't do any more than you did to make it more bearable for her but you have to find your own way through the grief you feel. It's early days yet for you, she would be so proud of how you are trying to make a new life, Be proud of what you did for her and make her proud of you by forging a new path for yourself and forgiving yourself for anything you feel you could have done differently. Her love was unconditional, and still is!! Keep your pecker up, Lyn.

Evie74_2

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

POPPERWELL - you did everything you could for your Mum and she will have known it, you could not change the inevitable, but she will have sensed the love and care that you gave her and I'm sure that it would have made her ending easier. You couldn't change the end of her life, couldn't do any more than you did to make it more bearable for her but you have to find your own way through the grief you feel. It's early days yet for you, she would be so proud of how you are trying to make a new life, Be proud of what you did for her and make her proud of you by forging a new path for yourself and forgiving yourself for anything you feel you could have done differently. Her love was unconditional, and still is!! Keep your pecker up, Lyn.

Pops - Lyn has summed up exactly what I wanted to say, probably far more eloquently than I could. It's natural to go over what happened in your mind - it's part of the grieving process and there's no need to apologise for it at all. You are among friends, and we send you lots of love and (((hugs))) - and we will also nag you to eat properly and look after yourself because that is what your mum would want for you.

Evie xx

fuddle

pops YS is yellow sticker or 'whoops' stickered items. You know how I sparked off your scrambled egg meal yesterday, well you've sparked off my eggy bread want tomorrow.

MrsL is able to type words down so well and they always make sense. I can only add my daft dinted two pence and that is that you've been on top form for a while now. So positive, so focused and determined. A wobble is a wobble

Can I also have a bit of a whinge to you pops. I too am worried about your eating and sleeping. If you're tired or out of kilter, everything seems so much harder and yeah, two days without DH and I haven't had a proper meal - the kids have had beans on toast, museli and carrot sticks etc but not meals. I've had nothing tonight, bit i'll be back to normal tomorrow. When it's just 'you' it must be so hard to look after yourself properly. I guess you could say, what's the point for just me, it doesn't matter etc but pops if you turn into a nightowl you'll lose the camaraderie of us during the day and have very little at night. We all need each other matey. I feel I might have stepped out of line. I guess we all just care - some of us can explain ourselves without being bossy or straight to the point... some of us can't Hugs pops. We're to get more sun tomorrow. Night pops, night everyone

Popperwell

dragonette wrote: »

Popperwell - *hugs* you are allowed to have wobbles. And you don't need to apologise for them *extra hugs*

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

POPPERWELL - you did everything you could for your Mum and she will have known it, you could not change the inevitable, but she will have sensed the love and care that you gave her and I'm sure that it would have made her ending easier. You couldn't change the end of her life, couldn't do any more than you did to make it more bearable for her but you have to find your own way through the grief you feel. It's early days yet for you, she would be so proud of how you are trying to make a new life, Be proud of what you did for her and make her proud of you by forging a new path for yourself and forgiving yourself for anything you feel you could have done differently. Her love was unconditional, and still is!! Keep your pecker up, Lyn.

You are both right of course. I have had, what I call a good couple of weeks. Kept my interests and most of the time even when doing very little I still manage to feel positive. I just found that it hit me again, I cannot think why(I cannot say that a particular piece of music has set me off)but I think what I am feeling is natural and everyone that has some compassion and are sensitive will go through similar feelings and doubts and always will even years afterwards...

My own consultant who I see for my own health problems was very understanding and kind about Mum and suggested that if we could have done something she might have suffered or it might have delayed the inevitable...and before Mum went into the home(in hospital they had prepared me that things were bad)but she rallied so where there is hope and all that...

Funny I should have my downer on the day that call came through and I did not know, so I cannot blame that for causing me to lose it!

Thanks again...

When you are alone you can think too much...

It's been mentioned about not eating, I must not let that happen...

I had some marmalade and toast earlier, two light boiled eggs and toast and for upper I think I will have porridge or cereal with fruit.

Then I have to have a go at cooking my chicken again in the slow cooker(I could use the oven)but the slow cooker is easy and uses less power?

I'm trying Fuddles advice this time and cooking it only for 4 hours but at a higher temperature?

Popperwell

Evie74 wrote: »

Pops - Lyn has summed up exactly what I wanted to say, probably far more eloquently than I could. It's natural to go over what happened in your mind - it's part of the grieving process and there's no need to apologise for it at all. You are among friends, and we send you lots of love and (((hugs))) - and we will also nag you to eat properly and look after yourself because that is what your mum would want for you.

Evie xx

It is...as a safety valve I am having a little cry here and that is a good thing...I also tidied myself up earlier...I have always been clean shaven but I had allowed my beard to grow for a possibly a couple of weeks. I look more like myself again...Mum would have said even after a couple of days(get yourself shaved or you're not going out like that are you:p)

So I am not allowing myself to get depressed...but will seek help if I think I need it...I am the wrong side of(ahem)but if I grow a beard I look it...if I don't I can pass for a lot younger...:rotfl:

Popperwell

Not out of line at all Fuddle...

Try and get some sleep, I will too...

Hope tomorrow is better for you too. I must look after myself, especially if I don't want carers and Social Worker's getting in my way again for as long as possible...now that would get me down...

Thanks everyone xx

[Deleted User]

POPS - the sun still shines for you, look up and see it tomorrow and enjoy the warmth Lyn x.

elona

Pops

You know exactly what your Mum would say if she knew you felt you had not done the right thing.

It would be that you did your best, the morphine was so she was not in pain and a nurse was there checking on her. You did everything you could and did not fail her in any way. She will have been proud of you and I wish you could see yourself through her eyes - or even our eyes.

stiltwalker

Welcome to all newbies. Sorry to hear there are so many people having job/ redundancy problems.

Ffion, Evie's idea about looking for small ads for alterations is a good idea - it is actually often easier to make from new than to alter so anyone who is advertising alterations would be able to knock up a pair of simple elasticated waist trousers no probs - they are probably not advertising the fact as there generally isn't the demand but if you give them a call you may find they are able to help. It shouldn't take more than an hour or two to make a pair of trousers like that.

DD's paediatrician came yesterday teatime for her 3 monthly appointment and DS's referral had come through so she officially came to see him too. We've known for a while that he's probably got Joubert's like his big sister but having it all official is still a bit of a downer. Paed agreed that the visual problems together with his slow mobility development its more than likely. An MRI would give us confirmation but we're not prepared for him to have a GA until he's old enough to explain it at least a bit like we did with his sister so we're going to work with a 'probable diagnosis' until he's 3. Paed quite happy with this as she knows where we are coming from and he'll get all the other relevant therapies and tests as and when needed so it's not going to make any practical difference.

Managed to get my penultimate essay submitted this morning and rewarded myself with a little peruse on ebay - treated myself to 2 metres of iron on interfacing and a 5 pound bag of pot luck fabric for a fiver - aren't I the mad, rash one!! This Christmas everyone is getting bags of goodies! - Homemade bags with either bath stuff (part homemade, part grabbit board and discount code stuff) or tea and biscuits (AP had some posh teas with long dates a while back and got some lovely tins of biccies half price from Julian Graves). Just need to make the bags now!! Will keep me quiet in the evenings.

Speaking of Julian Graves - Fuddle, weren't you asking about vit C for your baking? Well when I went into JG to see what they had (and spent too much!!!) they had cartons of Vit C and everything is half price. Never used it in my bread making but then I only tend to make white as that is the favourite in our house. I also got some nice clip top jars for bath salts and some smelly candles in jars for my bags as well as stocking up my baking bits. Really hope someone buys it out (as much for the lovely staff in my local one) it would be a real shame to lose JG as they have stuff that the supermarkets don't and it'd be yet anther empty shop in our already depleted high streets.