Really need help and advice.....

mother-to-4

Please do not judge, I know I have been very silly and am paying the price, I just really need some good advice right now. Ok so here's my story...

I left home young (best thing at the time) with very low self esteem and ended up getting into a relationship with a very violent man. It was typical domestic abuse, started off very charming etc and gradually put me down and became very controlling. To cut a long story short I had our children and left when I could nolonger take the violence he was dishing out to me. During the relationship I got into alot of debt and i'm not making excuses but it was largely down to him, he rinsed off my catalogues and credit cards, took my money so that I had to borrow off family and make excuses, I never had money to pay the bills and so got into debt with everything.

I am now free of this man (who is a schedule 1 offender and doesnt know where we are) and have moved area and settled down. I also now have a husband.

At present I pay all of my bills ontime but am still in lots of debt. My credit rating is very poor and only have a basic bank account. I have 4 children 1 of which is disabled and i'm a sahm, my husband works but only pulls in 18000 per year. I desperately want to get out of debt so that we are able to one day get a mortgage. I am paying back small regular amounts to the important debts.

My main concern is a water debt I have with severn trent totalling £1449. I have tried ringing them 3 times but get so nervous that I hang up before they even answer. I'm so worried about this. Our incomings mean that we dont have much outgoings and i'm scared that they will want me to pay an amount I just cant afford.

I have heard of a water fund that give grants to help people with water arrears but not sure i'd be considered due to the magnitude of the bill. Once I pluck up the courage to ring them what do I do if they wont accept a small amount each week and demand more than I can pay, or what if they take me to court which they are already threatening.

Please somebody advise me on the best way forward with this. I'm so ashamed , I can't even get a current account or do my shopping online and i'm so scared to ring the severn trent

mildredalien

Hey mother-to-4, firstly just wanted to send some virtual hugs, sounds like you have been through a really rough time!!

Secondly, there is no need to be ashamed - people get into debts for all sorts of reasons and the most important thing is that you are here asking for help rather than trying to pretend it isn't happening. Good for you! It is scary, but the best option is almost always to call your creditors and explain your situation, ask for help and show you are willing to pay off as much as you can. Do you have other debts? Perhaps you could ring a debt charity (CCCS or Payplan spring to mind) for some advice about the best way to tackle it all.

Is your husband aware of the debts? Would he be in a position to help address some of the issues if you feel nervous doing so?

mother-to-4

Hi thankyou for those kind words. Yes my husband knows, he has a few of his own debts from his younger immature days. I have arranged payments for some of the debts but the main one i'm worried about is the severn trent water bill. Don't think he'd be able to ring as its my bill and they usually have to speak to the account holder. I'm worried because its at nearly £15000...just dont know how i'm gonna pay that off

Lensman_2

I had 5 years of water debt land on my doormat last year. Despite setting up an account and standing order when I moved in, they took £11 and then nothing for 3 months. I rang up and I was assured that the Landlord was paying.

Obviously not... The bills added up to over £4,000.

I have other debts that are with DCAs.

Compared to the nasty DCAs, the water bill was straightforward. They were very nice on the phone and very reasonable with the payment plan. I pay for what I use plus £10 on top. They have charities and schemes that will help you out - ask them about that. They will send you an application form which looks like an SOA. Filling one of these out will likely get you 50% of the debt written off (or more - depending on your circumstances).

Please do not be frightened of them. Unlike banks and DCAs, they behave like grown ups and you should get a decent outcome.

If you still don't want to call them, then call CCCS (number in my sig). They will probably negotiate for you.

bankhater_1965

am i right in saying you have a water bill for £15000 mother-to-4

amyloofoo

Firstly mother-to-4,

Congratulations! You've already been through the most difficult part of your life and you've come out of it at the other side a stronger person, so I know you're going to be just fine in dealing with these debts. I know they can be stressful, but compared to what you've already been through, this is going to be a walk in the part :grouphug:

The advice about contacting CCCS is a really good idea, they will be able to help you in your individual situation and can offer advice about any DCAs you are considering - they would also then be able to contact your creditors on your behalf. In addition to this, please complete an SOA (there's a template in the sticky thread for newbies) - this will let the knowledgeable people on here offer advice on how to maximise your incomings and manage your outgoings.

Perhaps it's also a good idea to check out http://www.turntous.org.uk to check you're getting your full benefit entitlement. Is your ex paying child support? He may not be entitled to contact, but that doesn't nullify his responsibility to provide for the children he helped to create, whether this is through his wages or is stopped out of his benefits. I understand that you might be worried about this; but talk to the CSA, they have lots of experience in these cases and should be able to help.

Also, having checked out what Severn Trent offer to customers facing financial hardship, they appear to be a particularly sympathetic organisation. Check out http://www.stwater.co.uk/1/what-is-the-severn-trent-trust-fund-and-how-can-i-apply-for-this They also have additional support for people on water meters (not sure if you have one, or would like one in the future to pay off your debt), for those who have disabilities (you may be able to access this for your child), and for those who contact them through the CAB, so it might be worth making an appointment with your local Citizen's Advice. Whatever you choose to do, don't be frightened - I know debts are intimidating, but Severn Trent appear to be very understanding about those who are in difficulties.

Whatever direction you decide to go in, please don't contact a fee-charging debt management firm. There are many horror stories on here about them and their fees (and late and missed payments, etc), and you could save money and hassle through approaching one of the charities such as CCCS.

mother-to-4

yes, thats arrears too

mother-to-4

Thankyou, it really helps to talk about it and have ppl understand and others that have been in the same position. I am deffo gonna ring severn trent tomorrow, I cant keep putting it off. Hopefully they will be able to set up a repayment plan for me.....still bricking it though lol

bankhater_1965

amyloofoo wrote: »

Firstly mother-to-4,

Congratulations! You've already been through the most difficult part of your life and you've come out of it at the other side a stronger person, so I know you're going to be just fine in dealing with these debts. I know they can be stressful, but compared to what you've already been through, this is going to be a walk in the part :grouphug:

The advice about contacting CCCS is a really good idea, they will be able to help you in your individual situation and can offer advice about any DCAs you are considering - they would also then be able to contact your creditors on your behalf. In addition to this, please complete an SOA (there's a template in the sticky thread for newbies) - this will let the knowledgeable people on here offer advice on how to maximise your incomings and manage your outgoings.

Perhaps it's also a good idea to check out http://www.turntous.org.uk to check you're getting your full benefit entitlement. Is your ex paying child support? He may not be entitled to contact, but that doesn't nullify his responsibility to provide for the children he helped to create, whether this is through his wages or is stopped out of his benefits. I understand that you might be worried about this; but talk to the CSA, they have lots of experience in these cases and should be able to help.

Also, having checked out what Severn Trent offer to customers facing financial hardship, they appear to be a particularly sympathetic organisation. Check out http://www.stwater.co.uk/1/what-is-the-severn-trent-trust-fund-and-how-can-i-apply-for-this They also have additional support for people on water meters (not sure if you have one, or would like one in the future to pay off your debt), for those who have disabilities (you may be able to access this for your child), and for those who contact them through the CAB, so it might be worth making an appointment with your local Citizen's Advice. Whatever you choose to do, don't be frightened - I know debts are intimidating, but Severn Trent appear to be very understanding about those who are in difficulties.

Whatever direction you decide to go in, please don't contact a fee-charging debt management firm. There are many horror stories on here about them and their fees (and late and missed payments, etc), and you could save money and hassle through approaching one of the charities such as CCCS.

yes and dont worry, all can be sorted out , we are all humans , chin up

Betty_Crumble

mother-to-4 please take heart,severn trent are one of THE BEST companies I have ever dealt with. I had nothing when my boy was little and got into arrears with them (wish thats all i had to contend with now). They were amazing, applied to their trust fund for the arrears, filled out a soa and they wrote back within a couple of wk, cant remember the specifics but i do remember they were MORE than fair.
A couple of years later my fridge/freezer broke down and i applied to the trust fund again as I was worried about getting in a pickle in order to afford a new one, they wrote me back very quickly telling me Comet/Curry's (I forget which) would be ringing me to arrange delivery of a new a rated fridge freezer, i have never cried so much out of gratitude. You have nothing to lose and I can honestly say that as far as companies are concerned they are on of the kindest i have ever dealt with, go for it, good luck.

Lensman_2

mother-to-4 wrote: »

Thankyou, it really helps to talk about it and have ppl understand and others that have been in the same position. I am deffo gonna ring severn trent tomorrow, I cant keep putting it off. Hopefully they will be able to set up a repayment plan for me.....still bricking it though lol

Well done and good luck. We don't care if you brick it again tomorrow. Or the day after.

But give yourself 14 days to sort it one way or another. If you haven't managed it with Seven Trent then call CCCS.

All the best and my fingers are crossed for you.

Jim