Welcome drinks and toast

melancholly

Idiophreak wrote: »

I've never come across this, but I've certainly been to weddings where money's been an issue...people expect to be given a couple of drinks (rightly or wrongly) and then they think if they take a tenner each, they can have three or four more drinks each and have a good night of it. Then it turns out that there's no free booze, it's £5 a pint (which some people will refuse to pay, anyway) and the bar only takes cash...you end up with a bunch of very sober, grumpy people...

Plus if you've travelled to get there, possibly with an overnight stay, and bought a present, it does seem a little strange to then have to excessively dip into your pocket on the night.... I expect to pay for some drinks, but I would feel a little annoyed if nothing at all was provided.

I have been unstuck when places won't take cards and I haven't had much cash though. That's a pain!

Hollie84

We have arrival drinks and drinks to toast within our package,if we didnt then we would definetly provide a drink to toast but its down to the individual

LEJC

I think there are 2 seperate issues here that might be getting muddled...

Theres the question of drinks during the day time which personally I think that if you want people to toast your life together then its only fair to provide them a drink with which to do it...

And then theres the issue of at the evening do ...do you provide any drinks there...

Personally if I were invited as a day guest I would hope to be given a drink,possibly a couple...ie welcome drink,something with my meal and maybe something for the toast.....but if I were just an evening guest then the pay bar is fine by me and I really wouldn't expect anything else.

What is always worth remembering too is that the welcome drink doesnt need to be alcoholic,there are some lovely fruit punches available or elderflower based drinks that are lovely and cooling for the guests if the weather is warm.

lisajane8482

Personally as a guest I never expect anything more than to be fed and TBH I couldn’t care less if what I eat is a sit down meal, a BBQ or buffet as long as it’s something to fill a gap. I’ve spent over £300 going to a wedding as a day guest (cost of outfit, 60 mile round trip taxi, wedding gift and drinks for 2) and did not get any free drinks. Did I feel annoyed… no, disappointed… no, did I enjoy myself any less….no, did I think the couple were tight or think any less of them…. no. I felt glad that I was able to share their day with them, it may have been a lot of money (and meant I had to stay in for the rest of the month) but I could have drank less, or just wore something I already owned.

I think that you should do what you want, at the end of the day it is your day and if anyone else would have done it a different way, well we're all different. I’ve spent so much time worrying about what other people will think about this, that and the other and it’s not worth it. Do what you want, at the end of the day if anyone does complain then they’ll soon find something else to whinge about and forget that such and such didn’t have toast drinks or wine on the table.

scarlet1985

I never expected that this would be such an issue. Perhaps me and OH will have to rethinhk. Maybe alcohol has not entered my head as being that important. Thanks for all your help everyone.

Hollie84

lisajane8482 wrote: »

Personally as a guest I never expect anything more than to be fed and TBH I couldn’t care less if what I eat is a sit down meal, a BBQ or buffet as long as it’s something to fill a gap. I’ve spent over £300 going to a wedding as a day guest (cost of outfit, 60 mile round trip taxi, wedding gift and drinks for 2) and did not get any free drinks. Did I feel annoyed… no, disappointed… no, did I enjoy myself any less….no, did I think the couple were tight or think any less of them…. no. I felt glad that I was able to share their day with them, it may have been a lot of money (and meant I had to stay in for the rest of the month) but I could have drank less, or just wore something I already owned.

I think that you should do what you want, at the end of the day it is your day and if anyone else would have done it a different way, well we're all different. I’ve spent so much time worrying about what other people will think about this, that and the other and it’s not worth it. Do what you want, at the end of the day if anyone does complain then they’ll soon find something else to whinge about and forget that such and such didn’t have toast drinks or wine on the table.

Well said and totally agree with you on this.we was contemplating getting some bottles for the tables as OH is off to france soon on a booze run, the fact that it will cost us £36 for the wine but £100 for it to be opened has put us off and be begrudge paying someone to do this.so arrival drinks and a toast si all it will be which is included in our package anyway.

Hollie84

scarlet1985 wrote: »

I never expected that this would be such an issue. Perhaps me and OH will have to rethinhk. Maybe alcohol has not entered my head as being that important. Thanks for all your help everyone.

Our arrival drink will be some sort of alcoholic cocktail and orange juice for anyone who doesnt want one and the kids

Kildare

We had a barn wedding so were able to provide all the 'free' drinks ourselves which can make it cheaper than if you have to purchase the drinks provided by the venue. We had:

Bar open before the ceremony so drinks could be bought, but they were all be bought by my Dad at that point (unplanned)
Post ceremony arrival drinks: Bucks Fizz (about £4 a bottle from M&S), Bottled beer, orange juice, lemonade and pepsi.
Meal: Red & White Wine & Schloer
Toast: Prosecco
Post-meal Tea & Coffee provided by venue
Evening: bar and everyone bought there own drinks once the open bottles of wine were finished

We did a bulk order from Tesco for the wine and prosecco (they had a deal on their website). Bought about 12 bottles of Bucks Fizz from M&S and the rest were picked up when we saw offers on bottles of pepsi - you don't need too many soft drinks. The venue were great and only opened bottles as old ones were finished so the next day we had a ton of wine to load back in the car and we handed these out to the wedding guests we saw at the hotel before they headed home.

I don't have a problem with paying for my own drinks at a wedding but I do expect something to be provided for the toast and during the meal (purely due to tradition).

Another poster said sometimes people don't bring enough money for the bar at a wedding. I think those people are a bit daft (or have rich friends who always have a free bar :rotfl:), if a wedding is being held in a hotel you know the prices are going to be more than a local pub for a beer. The way we got around this was the put in the information pack with the invite that its a 'cash only bar, and being a barn there aren't any cash points near by'. We had no problems on this front.

wanchai_2

I think that a free bar is an American thing tbh. The only weddings I've been to which had free bars were those of very wealthy types!

scarlet1985

For me to provide a glass of bucks fizz, a glass of wine with the meal, and a glass of fizzy wine for the toast would cost me £1100. So I definitely can't afford all of that. I don't like bucks fizz and netiher does OH so if we do welcome drinks we'd have to do something else or like I have said previously it'll feel like a waste of money. Again, maybe because I don't drink I don't get it but when there's been toast at other weddings, my table always toasts the bride and groom and never drinks the fizzy wine (cava, champagne whatever)