Private schooling

lindens

I came from a comfortable middle class family and as my local comp was rubbish , my parents wanted myself and sister to go a private school from aged 10. It was single sex and I hated mostly all of it. I was perfectly capable of the work but not particularly motivated. It was very academic whereas I am more arty. i got 1 O level and stayed on and retook some but then left.

Most kids parents were better off than me and had holiday homes, ponies, etc etc.

The worst thing for me was I lived in a village where 95% of children went to the local comp, it was about 5 miles away from my school so in effect I had no friends - none of my school friends (none of which I have stayed in contact with) lived anywhere near me, none of my village friends spoke to me because i was a snob as i went to a private school.

I always swore I would never put my child through that.

Having said that, it's important that an individual choice is made for a particular situation and a particular child. It was not right for me but it was less wrong for my sister as she is a different kind of person than me. she went on to get a 2:1 degree and earns much more than me.

Person_one

miss_independent wrote: »

Indeed, the reason my parents sent me to private school was because by the time I was 4 years old at the best local state school I was in a class with children from extremely deprived backgrounds, financially, socially, emotionally and it was having a knock on effect on the rest of us.

The thing is, if there were no private schools, I suspect the state schools would improve en masse.

Because the parents who really care about their childrens education and future would be sending them to the local comp, they could be a force for good in bringing up the standards.

By creaming off the children with the most motivated and involved parents, the private schools result in the state schools being even more disadvantaged.

Person_one

lindens wrote: »

The worst thing for me was I lived in a village where 95% of children went to the local comp, it was about 5 miles away from my school so in effect I had no friends - none of my school friends (none of which I have stayed in contact with) lived anywhere near me, none of my village friends spoke to me because i was a snob as i went to a private school.

I always swore I would never put my child through that.

My mum went through something similar, but at a grammar school. She was the only child from her primary who went, so was isolated and bullied for being poor, common etc. at school and when she went home she was isolated and bullied for being 'posh' and 'thinking too much of herself'.

Its a very divisive system.

pearl123

Perhaps the most important thing to remember about private schooling is that it a commitment to continue once you've started otherwise you will distrupt your childs education. And that fees will continue to rise annually. By the time he/she reaches o'levels that financial hike/rise is likely to be quite substancial.
Also there are the extras which need to be acounted for. Private school unitorm, which for me 30 years ago cost nearly £40 for a one shirt! Yes I'm not kidding. Also their would be all the othe school extras. Plus you child would be associating with more wealthy children so the are also going to want to keep up with them.

A very expensive business overall. If you start it - it will not come cheap even if you pick the cheapest private school.

balletshoes

sounds like a very very scary reception class miss_independent :eek:, and I'm not remotely surprised your mum took you out of there!
I'm happy to report my DD hasn't experienced any of that at her state primary school, on a large housing estate not far from the city centre. I can recall one particular little boy who was "dragged up" in my opinion, he did swear a lot in reception class, and showed no respect for any kind of adult authority, but there were no issues of violence/inappropriate sex play etc etc. He was excluded by the time he was 6 years old.

Itismehonest

lindens wrote: »

I came from a comfortable middle class family and as my local comp was rubbish , my parents wanted myself and sister to go a private school from aged 10. It was single sex and I hated mostly all of it. I was perfectly capable of the work but not particularly motivated. It was very academic whereas I am more arty. i got 1 O level and stayed on and retook some but then left.

Most kids parents were better off than me and had holiday homes, ponies, etc etc.

The worst thing for me was I lived in a village where 95% of children went to the local comp, it was about 5 miles away from my school so in effect I had no friends - none of my school friends (none of which I have stayed in contact with) lived anywhere near me, none of my village friends spoke to me because i was a snob as i went to a private school.

I always swore I would never put my child through that.

Having said that, it's important that an individual choice is made for a particular situation and a particular child. It was not right for me but it was less wrong for my sister as she is a different kind of person than me. she went on to get a 2:1 degree and earns much more than me.

That's the point. It's all about the individual.

Your problems in the village seem to have had much more to do with the bad attitudes of the anti-private mindset (private schooling = snobs) than about private schools themselves.

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

The thing is, if there were no private schools, I suspect the state schools would improve en masse.

Because the parents who really care about their childrens education and future would be sending them to the local comp, they could be a force for good in bringing up the standards.

By creaming off the children with the most motivated and involved parents, the private schools result in the state schools being even more disadvantaged.

I can see where you're coming from there, even in the state secondary schools where I live that happens - you want your child in the best of the available schools, so you don't put the ones with the worst results/reputations on your preference forms at all.

Itismehonest

Person_one wrote: »

The thing is, if there were no private schools, I suspect the state schools would improve en masse.

Because the parents who really care about their childrens education and future would be sending them to the local comp, they could be a force for good in bringing up the standards.

By creaming off the children with the most motivated and involved parents, the private schools result in the state schools being even more disadvantaged.

It wouldn't happen, though. Well, not in the way you mean.

I can remember a number of years ago when the Public Schools were concerned about some Labour policy. They started to arrange moving abroad lock, stock & barrel. The money would go with them. It would be the less wealthy left behind being forced into the state system.
As with everything else to do with real wealth, it is completely mobile & goes where it feels is best be that UK, Europe, America or anywhere else in the world.

Person_one

Itismehonest wrote: »

It wouldn't happen, though. Well, not in the way you mean.

I can remember a number of years ago when the Public Schools were concerned about some Labour policy. They started to arrange moving abroad lock, stock & barrel. The money would go with them. It would be the less wealthy left behind being forced into the state system.
As with everything else to do with real wealth, it is completely mobile & goes where it feels is best be that UK, Europe, America or anywhere else in the world.

I'm not talking about money, really.

A lot of people who put their children in private schools absolutely scrimp and live like paupers in order to do so. That kind of parent can't send their kids off to Switzerland, but still cares deeply about their child's education and would bring that to the state school.

The money isn't what will make state schools better, the supportive parents are.

emsywoo123

Person_one wrote: »

A lot of people who put their children in private schools absolutely scrimp and live like paupers in order to do so.

Why do you think this?