birth certificate and dna test help

dt3887

thanks for the replies. i prob didnt make the cost bit clear, its the cost of the court side that im looking to find out as oppose to the cost of the testing.

i spoke to them yesterday, and they are still carrying out the assessment without the tests, however they will not (apparently) take any money until the tests are done...

Mojisola

dt3887 wrote: »

thanks for the replies. i prob didnt make the cost bit clear, its the cost of the court side that im looking to find out as oppose to the cost of the testing.

i spoke to them yesterday, and they are still carrying out the assessment without the tests, however they will not (apparently) take any money until the tests are done...

I don't think you need to go to court at all.

The CSA may not take the money now but they will ask for arrears if the children are yours so make sure you're putting it aside.

Ellejmorgan

Don't forget conception takes place usually 14 days before menstruation starts, when conception takes place she is already 2 weeks pregnant and 4 weeks gone when she should menstruate..

For some women conception can take place on any day during her cycle, some women can conceive during their bleed or just after, it's impossible to pinpoint...

If you had unprotected action then it's quite plausible you are the father..

If my ex questioned paternity I'd tell him to 'f' off

Marisco

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

If my ex questioned paternity I'd tell him to 'f' off

I think that's a bit unfair really. If people have put doubt in his mind (and we don't know what their lives were like before, she might have given him cause to worry in the past) then that doubt will only chew away at him. I'd be more inclined to say "right sod you, I'll prove you wrong, do a DNA" At least with a DNA it will be proved one way or another.

clearingout

Marisco wrote: »

I think that's a bit unfair really. If people have put doubt in his mind (and we don't know what their lives were like before, she might have given him cause to worry in the past) then that doubt will only chew away at him. I'd be more inclined to say "right sod you, I'll prove you wrong, do a DNA" At least with a DNA it will be proved one way or another.

it's true Marisco, once there is doubt there is little choice but to have a DNA test and be done with it. However, when you know, as the mother, that there is no doubt to paternity being asked to do such a test is an enormous assault on your integrity. It was particulary insulting in my case where the ex had been having an affair, not me! I worry enormously about how that paperwork could be used against me in the future - kind of 'your mother was so awful, sleeping around, I had an affair to get out of that, and I needed a DNA test to check you were mine' and how on earth I could prove otherwise? A fed up teenager, determined to go his own way and kick out against me could be 'turned' on that basis and that's obviously not healthy for us as a family.

Ellejmorgan

Marisco wrote: »

I think that's a bit unfair really. If people have put doubt in his mind (and we don't know what their lives were like before, she might have given him cause to worry in the past) then that doubt will only chew away at him. I'd be more inclined to say "right sod you, I'll prove you wrong, do a DNA" At least with a DNA it will be proved one way or another.

My ex isn't a nice person sorry should have pointed that out sooner

DUTR

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

My ex isn't a nice person sorry should have pointed that out sooner

It's not really about whether someone is nice or not, the NRP has a right to a DNA test if they choose (and pay) , those are the rules and can be exercised if chosen. the PWC does not have the choice and perhaps that is where the 'offence' comes from

iluvfreebies

hi op - you may have got sorted out already - can i just check is this the first time you have had a case open with the agency or was there an open case already with an agreement for payments to be made directly?

dt3887

HI ilovefreebies.

originally a case was put to the csa 2 years ago, but me and the ex decided to do it privately as i had agreed to give her more than the csa wanted, which has now obviously stopped.

Originally Posted by Ellejmorgan
If my ex questioned paternity I'd tell him to 'f' off

it is people like this who actually do enrage me. if you had nothing to hide then you would have no resason to tell him to f off IMHO!!! what gives the mother the right to refuse the father that peace of mind and clarity, regardless of how nice a person he is or isnt.
Plus, how do you think it would look to the father if paternity is refused? Its attitudes like this that cause sh*t loads more bother than is neccesary... *phones up fathers for justice* lol

rant over.... for now

well, my case has been passed to the complex case team or something like that because she is being obstructive.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

dt3887 wrote: »

HI ilovefreebies.

originally a case was put to the csa 2 years ago, but me and the ex decided to do it privately as i had agreed to give her more than the csa wanted, which has now obviously stopped.



it is people like this who actually do enrage me. if you had nothing to hide then you would have no resason to tell him to f off IMHO!!! what gives the mother the right to refuse the father that peace of mind and clarity, regardless of how nice a person he is or isnt.
Plus, how do you think it would look to the father if paternity is refused? Its attitudes like this that cause sh*t loads more bother than is neccesary... *phones up fathers for justice* lol

rant over.... for now

well, my case has been passed to the complex case team or something like that because she is being obstructive.

I can understand why being asked for a DNA test could hurt/annoy a PWC, but I'd always advise them them to go for it to prove themselves.
All paternity testing cases get referred to Complex.