Unmarried Partner- deposit money as a gift to my bf

Richard_Webster

Why do you have to risk large sums of money in order to prove you love your partner? Why not turn it around and ask why someone who loves you would ask you to risk your savings?

They should be "our" savings. If they aren't then what good is the relationship?

C_Mababejive

DVardysShadow wrote: »

I think the horse and cart go this way around:

The need to invoke special measures to protect the financial position is causing doubts about the relationship.

There really is no complication. The simple answer is NEVER mix business with pleasure. In this circumstance,they must run parallel.

Kynthia

If they aren't married then it's not 'our' savings yet. It's thinking like that, and not acknowledging that relationships do end that gets people into trouble. It might be different for those who decide to make a life together without getting married and put things in place to replace the legal protection marriage gives. However people who intend to marry but haven't yet need to remember that legally they are individuals until then.

FBaby

Grrr, annoys me these 'you don't love your partner, you should trust him' blah blah blah.... everyone starts off a committed relationship full of trust. It is experience that teaches you that unfortunately, starting full of trust doesn't provide any guarantee for the future. The reality is what it is, and protecting yourself, no matter how much you love and trust your partner NOW, is a very sound decision.

Looking at your situation, it sounds like there are no straight forward way to protect yourself as it is. Maybe you can go and see whether another mortgage lender might allow you to put the deposit without being on the mortgage? Could his parents provide the deposit and he agrees to repay them?

Alternatively, for the sake of less than a year, I would just hold off the house buying. Concentrate on your wedding, that's enough of its own.

mjdh1957

The debt-free wannabe forum is full of people who trusted their partners and ended up being lumbered with all sorts of debt problems.

I've heard it referred to as an STD - sexually transmitted debt.

It does make sense to think about the options if things go wrong, and not to believe that by being cautious you somehow do not 'love' your partner enough.